Born and Broken Every Single Time.

“Earth to Frank,” Mikey laughed as he waved his hand aimlessly in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze. I was sat on the table in the school grounds staring blankly ahead, not sure what had been distracting me.

Mikey proceeded to prod my knee from the bench he sat on beside me, urging me to bunk the afternoon with him. I didn’t say no immediately, nor did I say yes – eventually just lying back on the bench and closing my eyes. The occasional draft made me shiver, but I didn’t let it bother me, it was strangely comfortable.

“Fine,” I muttered after his persistence began to annoy me. I pulled my hood up and covered as much of my face with it as I could, a well observed indication to Mikey that he should leave me alone for now.

“Great. I’m going to get something to eat, fancy coming?” he continued. I heard him get up from the bench and walk round to the other side of me. Even if my eyes were open I couldn’t have seen him, my hood blocked any line of vision.

“Nah, I’m fine thanks.” My stomach jolted as I spoke. I had the urge curl up, just to try will the sharp pain to go away for now but decided it was best not to or Mikey might read into it. Not that there was anything to read into. “Just get me when you’re back.”

“Sorted. See you later man.”

I muttered a goodbye under my breath, not that he would have been able to hear me and continued my rest. Not many people stayed in the grounds at lunch and those that did knew better than to bother me. I’d gotten in enough fights in my time and let the outcomes of those act as a warning against anyone interrupting me. The awareness of my surroundings slowly slipped away as sleep took over.

-

“Frank,” Mikey shook me by the shoulders to snap me from my slumber. “Come on lets go.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered as my eyes readjusted to the light. I dragged myself off the table and clumsily walked beside him. He spoke and I grumbled at the appropriate times to keep a conversation going. I’d always been full of energy, but lately that had been lacking. I found a mere ten minute walk to Mikeys house a struggle, at times having to force myself to keep up with his casual pace.

“So then he just walked off as if nothing happened, crazy eh?” he continued enthusiastically.

“Insane.” I hadn’t really grasped what he was talking about; he had a tendency just to change the subject without even realising. I was on my own train of thought anyway, even as we dumped our shoes and bags in his hallway he continued to speak. As he headed to the kitchen to get some beers I dragged myself up the stairs to his room and threw myself onto his bed, beginning to flick through the channels on TV.

“Thanks,” I smiled as Mikey handed me a beer and sat down in the chair at the opposite wall. As he spun back and forth he started from where he left off in conversation. I didn’t even pretend I was listening this time, instead just focussing on the television, not that that was any good.

“Nacho?” he slurred as he shoved handful into his mouth, shoving the packet under my nose.

“No thanks man.” I smiled. I felt a searing pain in my stomach like before and automatically curled up, breathing in sharply and willing it to pass.

“Shit, Frank,” Mikey leaned over. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” I said through clenched teeth, trying to suppress the pain as I spoke.

“No wait here,” Mikey continued, his face screaming worry. “I’ll get you some paracetamol or something, Can’t do any harm.”

I muttered a ‘thanks’ as he scurried downstairs and I curled up tighter than before, my arms were wrapped tightly over my stomach as if that would somehow help the problem.

“Again?” I heard a voice calmly talk from the door. I looked over to see Mikeys older brother Gerard leaning against the doorframe with a faint smile on his face.

“What do you mean again?” I said as I closed my eyes tight as the pain briefly enflamed.

“I’ve seen this happen to you before,” he replied coolly. I felt the weight on the bed increase as he sat down beside me. I opened my eyes to find him looking at me, his eyes concerning. “There’s something wrong.”

“I’m fine,” I groaned as I forced myself to sit up, leaning against the wall. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“Of course not,” he said as he ruffled my hair and stood up to leave, moving out the way when Mikey returned with a glass of water and tablet.

I didn’t feel I needed it, but to ease the growing anxiety in Mikeys face I took it and told him I was okay. I doubted he believed me but he seemed slightly relieved as he smiled and slumped back into his chair, shovelling more snacks down his throat, much to my disgust as I watched.

I looked round at Gerard who stood leant against the doorframe once again. He shook his head briefly with a smirk and headed back to his room, closing the door gently behind him.