Born and Broken Every Single Time.

“See you then man.” I hung up my phone as Mikey finished telling me about his day. He’d gotten the afternoon off due to cancelled lessons. I didn’t believe him; he was probably bunking off like he often does but not admitting it. He was on his way home, then we were crashing out for a lazy night.

I heard knocking on the door faintly, and said ‘come in’ loud enough to be heard. I assumed it would be one of the parental Ways but sat up with slight confusion as Gerard peeked his head round.

“You don’t usually knock,” I began slowly.

“Yeah well I have something for you.” He smiled nervously as he spoke. “Right, I know your really into your music, and I know your dad took your guitars off of you so I thought maybe you’d like to just have mine until you get yours back or something.”

I sat in mild shock as Gerard pulled his acoustic from the side and into view. I knew he had it and didn’t play it very often but I couldn’t believe he’d do that.

“Gerard, I couldn’t.”

“Yes Frank, you can,” he smiled. “It just sits in my room, and at least you can play it well.”

“Are you sure?”

”Just take the damn guitar Frank.” He laughed as he walked over the room and leaned it against the wall. “Maybe you’ll play a song for me sometime.”

“Say what one and it’s yours,” I smiled as he sat down on the chair, watching me retrieve the guitar before sitting on the edge of the bed and tuning it.

“Seriously, now?” He seemed shocked that I was placing his offer into practice just now, seemingly under the impression it’d be at a later date.

“Sure why not.”

“Hmm. Surprise me.” I felt a wave of shyness overcome me as I watched Gerard lean forward with a smile, waiting for me to play. I thought for a moment before attempting an acoustic ‘Sweet Child O Mine’. I smiled to myself as I played, hearing Gerard quietly mutter the words along thinking I couldn’t hear. Mikey had told me he could sing well, but hadn’t ever heard him before so took this opportunity to discover his talent for myself.

I stopped about a third of the way through the song, feeling more nervous the further I continued. I didn’t mind playing in front of people if it was an official performance, but at times like these I found it weird, even with Mikey sometimes.

“So yeah,” I smiled nervously as I laid the guitar down, leaning it on the wall by the bed. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he smirked before getting up to go back to his room.

“Gerard,” I called after him, standing up as he came back at my beckon. He leaned against the doorframe as he waited for me to continue. “What were you going to say yesterday?”

”When?” He folded his arms as he leaned fully on the doorframe, his face clearly showing his confusion.

“When someone phoned you.” I watched as his eyes widened slightly as he remembered what I was talking about. He ran his fingers through his thick locks to distract himself before replying

“Oh, that. It doesn’t matter,”

“Even if it doesn’t, I’m nosey.” I giggled like an idiot at my own remark. My giggle having been deemed infectious provoked a smirk from Gerard.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“No, tell me or I’ll,” I paused to think of a suitable threat as my giggles calmed. “I’ll set Mikey on you.”

“Oh scary,” he remarked sarcastically, the smirk turning into a grin. He leaned his back to the wall, tilting his head up and running both his hands through his hair. I could have sworn he was debating within himself whether to say or not. Like he wanted to, but he didn’t want to at the same time.

“Sake Gerard, just tell me.” I laughed as Gerard continued to debate his decision and watched him as he slammed himself into the chair, looking down at the ground.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I don’t know why right but…”

I raised an eyebrow as he paused, analysing the carpet for a distraction. I could tell he wanted to say, but didn’t. A situation I think everyone has been familiar with at one time or another. I held back the urge to fill the awkward silence of his pause and ask what, but I felt time was making it seem longer than it really was.

“I don’t know, I kind of think I sort of maybe possibly like you or something.” His words sped up yet decreased in volume as he spoke, he continued muttering under his breath but I couldn’t really make them out. Was he serious? I felt myself thinking of a reaction to voice bar ‘oh’ when Mikey walked in, dumping his bag and proclaiming tonight was going to be a good one, leaving no chance for me to react to Gerards admission.

But strangely enough, I agreed with his sentiment.