Born and Broken Every Single Time.

“Who’s that?” I heard Gerards dad shout from the lounge as we closed the door behind us.

”It’s me dad,” Gerard shouted. “And Frank too, he took a bad turn at school.”

I looked at him like ‘bad turn?’ but he thought if he said that it would avoid having to explain what really happened. I guess his thinking was logical. I headed upstairs, automatically walking into Mikeys room before Gerard laughed at me as a reminder I was here with him, not Mikey.

“So…” I muttered as I slumped in the chair in Gerards room, dumping my bag beside me. I didn’t really know why I was here. I just figured we’d hang out like we’d done before – a mixture of drink and music most presumably. I kind of hoped that actually, as much of a shock as that may seem.

“Gimme a sec man,” he said as he ran downstairs. A few moments later I heard clinking as he returned. Shock horror, the drink was out. “Movie?” he questioned as he put a disc in the player before letting me answer. He jumped onto his bed as he opened a can, staring at me as I awkwardly turned to watch the tv from the chair. “Dude, just come here.”

I did as he asked awkwardly. He had a double bed and there was plenty of space. I don’t know why I found it so awkward because I watched movies like this with his brother and he had a single bed. I usually spoke through films as I watched them, but I sat with my eyes locked on the film as the atmosphere became slightly awkward.

“Frank,” Gerard spoke as his eyes remained locked on the screen. “You do know you can talk to me, I’m not going to like jump on you and try sex you up love.”

“I know,” I laughed as the tension broke slightly. I’m not sure why I was being awkward with him but I can understand why he’d think that.

“Unless,” he smirked as he threw a wink my way. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I wouldn’t corrupt my kid brothers friend like that.”

I giggled a bit at his quip but didn’t speak; I wasn’t really sure how to reply to that in all honesty.

“Have you been taking the pills?” he asked as he tilted his head to lock my eyes to his.

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“And eating at all the meal times?” he continued. He was like a mother but worse, a male mother. Perish the thought.

“Drop it, please.”

“I’ll take that as a no,” he continued.

“I can’t, it makes me ill,” I muttered as I looked back to the screen. “Mega ill.”

“Jeez Frank,” he sighed as he continued to look my way. I didn’t face him, just catching his gaze out the corner of my eye.

“Stop,” I retorted, refusing to look at him as I spoke. “What was that about before?”

“What about?” I could tell he was watching me, I wouldn’t look round though.

“The park, you…” I looked over before finishing the sentence to see his reaction. He didn’t show anything, hiding whatever ran through his mind well.

“I don’t know Frank,” he sighed as he looked away. “I just did. You need help; I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I thought you’d just come back if I did something like that. I can’t bear to think of you at home like this.”

“Oh,” I remarked. I didn’t know whether to take it in good or bad light. ‘I just did’?

“Frank..” I felt myself breath in sharply as Gerards hand rested on my stomach, fidgeting with the bottom of my shirt. “You can’t go on like this.”

“Like what?” I felt my voice quietening as I spoke.

“Like this,” I felt him gently run his hand under my shirt and gently up my chest, taking the shirt with him. “Look at yourself.”

He rested his hand just below my ribs, which seemed more visibly defined than when Gerard had walked in on me a while ago. I felt my heart sink as I saw the sight beneath me. It wasn’t nice to look at, it was horrible to know this was me, this was my body. I slammed my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes, drawing my hands up to cover my face.

“You just,” I tensed up again as I felt Gerards lips gently kiss my stomach. “need someone,” I felt his lips press just below my ribs lightly, “to care.”

I moved my hands from my face, sweeping my hair back and looked down at Gerard who just smiled sweetly back, saying nothing else. A few moments of silenced past, but it wasn’t awkward – more reflective, only to be broken by the house phone ringing.

“Hadn’t you better answer that?”

“Looks like my dads got it,” he smiled as the ringing cut short.

“Gerard!” The call came from downstairs, his dad had a fair set of lungs on him even though he smoked practically all day every day. “It’s for you.”

“Coming!” he shouted as he clambered over me, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before scrambling downstairs. I didn’t know what to make of what had just happened but I lay there for the next few minutes with the biggest smile on my face.