Born and Broken Every Single Time.

"This is a plus side," Mikey grinned. "Now I can actually walk to school with someone."

"Yeah," I smirked. "You can be popular again Mikes!"

I giggled at the glare he gave me as we continued to stroll to school. We'd probably get there a couple of minutes before the bell but we'd split up immediately as our registration classes resided in opposite sides of the school from each other. We approached the gate and nodded as a confirmation that we'd catch each other at break at our usual place before heading our separate ways.

I walked along the corridors leading to my room with my head down. I never liked attention being drawn to me and I knew it always was. I was the kid in the top year at school who dressed like a dick. Most people opted for full uniform, others like Mikey wearing dark jeans with a shirt but I, I opted for dark jeans and band shirts. It seemed to be considered a mortal sin from the looks I received, but I figured if I don't see the looks, they can't affect me.

"Don't," I uttered immediately as Jason, one of the usual tormentors, opened his mouth to make a comment at me being here. He closed his mouth immediately, just smirking at me as I sat down. I'd decided in my mind that this was it, my new start. I felt now that this wasn't just my problem, it had now been burdened onto someone else to share and that knowledge struck a chord of guilt within me.

"Frank?"

"Here," I muttered.

I'd get used to this again, alerting people to my presence with some miniscule word. Hopefully, in turn my repetitive uttering of this world would cause snide comments to subside, some sort of equal balance. I slumped in my chair, fidgeting with my phone as registration went by. I didn't talk much in the mornings, especially with the group of people I'd been clumped together with. The problem seemed to escalate along with my absences, their stupid remarks and giggles making me resent them more, slowly killing any longing to socialise with them until it was non-existent.

The first two periods ran effortlessly. Double English was far from boring. Classes always seemed that much brighter when there was someone there just to lighten the mood. That was one thing I always missed from school, the fun I would have in English. It would have been great to be in Mikey's class but I conceded that it wasn't going to happen and had begun to speak to the two guys who shared my table.

Justin and Andrew weren't like me per se, but their humour was. We may have been 'mature' compared to the younger students but I felt content as we laughed like kids at random words we found innuendo in. The term 'oral exam' was the best one; Justin never could suppress his laughter at that one. I always felt a twang of disappointment when the bell rang and I had to admit that the only class I truly had fun in was over, but that was short lived as break struck and I met back with Mikey. I always greeted him with a smile, no matter how horrid I felt inside, he seemed to make me feel that little bit brighter.

"You have to bunk last two with me, I haven't done my essay, she'll kick my ass!" Mikey blurted out as I approached him.

"I don't know," I muttered, seemingly taking him aback by my reaction. "I kind of want to sort everything out, like a new start. I don't think bunking off half of my first day back is really going to help."

"Oh, okay," he sighed. "I get what you mean, it's cool."

After his momentary disappointment, he launched into his tales of the first two periods. I always believed he exaggerated his stories slightly just for effect but I didn't mind, his enthusiasm always charmed his way from the stories discrepancies.

"I guess I'll see you at home?" he sighed, seeking the confirmation that either he found someone else or he was bunking alone. I doubt the thought even crossed his mind that he could go to class and just tell the truth, but that was Mikey.

"Yeah," I smiled, hugging him briefly before heading to my next double class. Most guys I knew found hugging extremely feminine. The only hugging in general that was accepted was with a girl, guys hugging guys was gay, apparently. Both Mikey and myself laughed these claims off and did it anyway, it was what we'd always done. When you're five you'd hug your best friend goodbye, but unlike the others we didn't wake up one day and go 'I'm too old to do that' or actually care that we might be branded with some random tag.

The rest of my day ran pretty smoothly, most teachers just relieved that I was back and finding reassurance from my urges that this was a new start for me. It was like I was a different person, I guess essentially I was. I had thought about going proper with my uniform but that wouldn't be true to me. I found it too constricting. Having said that, what I wore was uniform if you read the rules. The school hadn't gone to a great effort in detail so saying 'black and white' could obviously lead to a lot of controversy. My basic standing was that I wore black and white and if they had a problem with that then they would have to change the rules. Due to my schools nonchalant attitude, or what I simply called 'laziness' – they never did.

As the final bell of the day rang I hopped out of my seat like all my fellow pupils. I strolled casually out of the gate and walked alongside the road, rummaging in my bag. I had taken sandwiches I'd bought at the shop on the way to school, intending to eat them for my lunch. It didn't really work out as I had planned. I sat at the table and just kind of stared at them awkwardly, gaining a few curious looks from passers by. In the end I just shoved them back in my bag and decided that my lunch would simply be an energy drink for today.

I wasn't going to let this beat me. I was going to do this, make myself 'better'. I pulled the sandwiches out of my bag and peeling the wrapper off them half-heartedly. 'You don't even need to eat both, just one,' I thought to myself. People must have thought I was insane, just walking down the street with a sandwich in my hand but I didn't care. I had to do this. They weren't part of the equation.

I felt my stomach churn as I looked at it, telling me that I was hungry but my mind fought it, telling me I didn't want this. Before my thoughts could contradict themselves once more my mind flashed back to the image of Gerard two nights ago, bearing himself to me as he gushed that he had failed me. I didn't need my stomach to talk for me. I didn't need my mind to talk for me. Gerard was talking for me. I wasn't going to let him feel a failure.

I feebly took a bite. It seems such a dramatic statement for such a pathetic action, but for me it was so much more. I needed to do this, for me, for everyone. I felt physically sick but I was determined to finish this before I got back to Mikey's house. It's funny I'd never call that place home. I always felt like I was imposing even though 'Mikey's house' was the closest thing to home I'd ever known.

I threw the remainder of my intended lunch in the next bin I passed, clutching my stomach awkwardly as I walked. I reached the Way's house, pulling my key out of my pocket and shoving it in the lock. As I walked in the house I headed straight up to Mikey's room with a newfound sense of confidence. I caught sight of Gerard walking out of his room, yawning as if he'd only just got up. I ignored him, letting him know I was respecting his words and that I would leave him alone. He didn't know I was going to make everything better but for now he didn't need to. All he needed to know that the immature fuck that he didn't give a shit about anymore was going to grow the hell up.