Born and Broken Every Single Time.

"No," Gerard moaned faintly, pulling back slightly as his breath collided with my own. "This isn’t right."

"Shh," I urged, pulling him back towards as my hands gently ran down from his face to rest firmly on his waist. He just looked at me, biting his lip thoughtfully.

"We don’t always get what we want Frank," he smirked, leaning out of my reach teasingly as I tried to seize his lips with mine once more.

"Well you’ll never know if you don’t try," I mocked, pulling him slightly nearer just to feel him close to me. I looked up at him, just thinking as he looked back at me, his eyes so adoring.

"Thank you," he smiled as his hands snaked behind through my hair lightly, his hands linking gently behind my neck.

"It’s okay," I grinned. "I know I’m good, but there’s really no need to thank me."

"Shut up," he laughed. "I mean for making me do something, I’d seriously still be like-"

"Shh," I muttered, leaning up on my toes slightly as I kissed along his jaw line lightly, making him smile at me as he pulled me closer until we were pressed against each other.

"You’re quite ’shh-y’ for a talkative little fuck," he laughed, leaning down and pressing his lips against mine before I could reply.

"Frank!" Mikey called as he walked up the stairs. I could tell from here he was still in a bad mood, his footsteps like thunder as he stormed to the upper floor.

I reluctantly loosened my hold of Gerard, feeling him do the same before Mikey walked straight in. He glared at his brother before turning to me and forcing a smile. He just told me he wanted to talk to me and walked out, presumably back to his room. I looked over at Gerard curiously who just met me with a shrug. I smiled awkwardly as I headed to walk out of the door, only to feel his arms seize me around my waist.

"Pretend it’s the power cut," he whispered in my ear, making me grin to myself although he couldn’t see.

"You actually remember that?" I giggled, feeling his lips press gently against my neck.

"Of course I do, fucktard," he laughed, loosening his grip on me to let me leave.

"Ooh, harsh," I grinned as I looked over at him before shutting his door. I returned to Mikey’s room, unsure of what to think. The moment I closed the door behind me Mikey launched into mass criticism against his brother, deeming him a dick for everything.

"He just expects us all to bow at his feet when he wants something," Mikey continued. "Like seriously, where the hell did this come from?"

"What the hell is your problem?" I snapped, taking both of us by surprise. "Don’t you think he can do it?" Returning here, I felt like nothing could bring my mood down, seriously. It was indescribable; I didn’t know what to truly think. Why think though? It had just happened, I’d have time to think of this later, but for now I was not listening to Mikey, best friend or not, have a go at him.

"I know he can, that’s the problem," he muttered, casting his gaze to the floor. "I don’t want to lose him."

"You’re not going to lose him," I sighed, casting a sympathetic gaze over to him, even though he couldn’t see me.

"If he does this course, he’ll leave," Mikey continued. "He’s always been here, you don’t get it, you don’t have a brother. I figure if he hates me then it won’t hurt so much when he finally does go."

"Mikey, he doesn’t hate you," I replied, noting him glance quickly up and thinking it had gone unnoticed. "You have to talk to him."

"I don’t!" he exclaimed, taking me by surprise at his spurge of energy in the statement. "What can he say that he hasn’t already? Suddenly he’s decided to get off his ass and make something of himself, and I’m terrified Frank! I’ll be on my own here! I don’t want to hear him say that, I don’t want to hear him say he’ll leave. It’ll make it too real."

"Where can you go without talking to him? Back to normal?" I chortled. "Go, now."

"There’s nothing to say," he sighed.

"Mikey," I began, unsure of how I could word it. "Gerard spoke to me, about stuff…"

"Stuff?" Mikey frowned, a snap to his voice.

"You need to talk to him," I pressed. "It’s not for me to say."

"I can’t," Mikey muttered. "I can’t know he’s going to leave."

"Trust me," I smiled reassuringly. "You have to." Upon realising that Mikey was going nowhere of his own accord I opened the door hastily and walked over to him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up. I shoved him through the door and refused to let him back in. I laughed slightly as Mikey hit me jokingly before conceding defeat. He walked along the hall to his brother’s room, and as I saw him walk in I returned to his room.

I searched for distraction, deciding this wasn’t my place to listen in. It seemed too personal for me to snoop into. I flicked the television on and comfortably settled on his bed, opting for a dodgy nineties film that was on. No matter how cheesy or down right bad they were, I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at their poor attempts at comedy.

As I glanced over at the clock yet again, noting another five minute time elapse I grew slightly uneasy. It had been over half an hour and I couldn’t help but wonder what was being said. What if Mikey didn’t listen? What if Gerard didn’t tell him everything? What if he did tell him everything? Like, everything. I couldn’t help but feel myself become slowly distracted from the film as my mind wandered, working on overload to add some paranoia to my current state.

I was snapped from my thoughts as the door creaked slowly open, looking around to find Mikey staring at me through bloodshot eyes. He walked in, closing the door behind him before silently sitting in his chair and just staring at the ground.

"How could I not know?" he muttered, his voice faltering.

"Not know what?" I pressed gently, leaning forward slightly as I spoke.

"Any of it," he sighed. "Years Frank, years. How couldn’t I notice? Why couldn’t he talk to me?"

"I don’t know," I replied quietly, feeling slightly guilty that he had confided in me before his brother. I felt as if I had taken his place in an important issue, it was horrible.

"Thank you," he smiled, looking up and taking me slightly for surprise. He must have noticed confusion etched in my expression and continued just to clear things up. "I mean for helping him. He talked really highly of you, showed me the drawings and that he’d showed you, explained everything. I’m kind of gutted I was oblivious, even to you two, it’s like I’m blind or something."

"Us two?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow curiously as I felt my chest tighten slightly.

"Yeah," he smiled faintly. "Looking back, I can see how you two got closer, why he confided in you. It’s like you’re another brother to him, I hadn’t even noticed."

"Well he’s kind of like a brother to me," I smiled, speaking without a second’s thought. I paused, my eyes widening slightly at what I’d said. It didn’t sit right with me and it most certainly left me feeling unsettled. Mikey stood up and pulled me up into a hug as a thank you and search of reassurance. I could feel that he’d been crying, even though I already knew - it made my heart sink that little bit further. Having said that, I couldn’t deny that amidst my sympathy for Mikey, I found my mind racing in question of how the hell I really did look at his brother.