Born and Broken Every Single Time.

"You okay?" Gerard asked, walking cautiously into Mikey’s room. I suspected he would upon hearing Mikey head downstairs. He said he was going to get us some drinks and talk to his parents, so I just reclined myself in his chair, staring blankly at the ceiling as I had a quiet think to myself. That was of course before I had company.

"Mhmm," I muttered, still looking up. I could see his figure walk over and sit on the edge of Mikey’s bed closest to me, just looking. "You?"

"I guess," he mumbled. "What did Mikey say to you?

"It doesn’t matter," I dismissed casually, still feeling strange on the topic and staring at the ceiling. I didn’t know if I could look at him just now, I just needed to think.

"He said the brother thing, didn’t he?" he sniggered, making me cast my gaze over to him in mild confusion. "Don’t worry, it was his words not mine."

"But they were mine," I groaned, looking at him and willing him to understand what was wrong. His giggle faded but his smile remained. He just casually tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully which in turn made me frown. I don’t think he was actually listening, probably just hearing what he wanted to. Stubbornness was a quality that seemed to swim in the male genes of the Ways.

"What?" he smirked. I swear as I looked at him I thought he believed this was a joke, that for some reason I decided to make this up just to humour him.

"When Mikey told me that, I automatically said it felt like you were my big brother," I frowned. "Now I’m pretty sure you and Mikey haven’t-"

"Yeah I’m quite sure we haven’t done anything either Frank," he smirked, interrupting my point that he doesn’t do ’things’ with Mikey. It seemed stupid because he obviously wasn’t my brother, but there was just something niggling away at me. I don’t know whether I had said that because of the way the conversation was going, deeming it the best response or whether really, really I did see him as a brother. It was the most confusing concept to ever cross me. I didn’t like it. "But what’s your point?"

"Do you see me as a brother?" I questioned, unsure of how else I could continue.

"No," he said plainly. "You know I don’t. You’ve always been my kid brothers friend and like another member of the family, it doesn’t mean I see you as family exactly though, does it?"

"I guess," I mumbled, seeing some reason in his logic. "It’s just weird, the more I think about it the more confused I am."

"Then don’t think about it," he smirked, walking over and leaning over me, using the armrests of the chair I sat in to support him. "Just…" he leaned down towards me only to feel me push him back slightly. I looked away awkwardly before hearing him laugh lightly. "You need to get it straight in your head, I know, I know."

"Something like that," I muttered. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you got that?" he smiled as he walked over to the wall perpendicular to me and leant against it, sliding down so he sat comfortably on the floor. "You’ve helped me a lot just by listening, which his more than most people did."

"It’s nothing," I smiled, getting up and moving to sit next to him. There was a small gap between us but nothing major. I didn’t look at him, just staring blankly ahead. I randomly felt the compulsion to rest my head on his shoulder, and couldn’t help but smile when his head rested gently against mine. I giggled to myself as I tried to blow his hair out of my face and failed miserably, even more so when Gerard told me I was a loser for my failure. Really, I should have taken offence.

My giggle was cut short as I heard my stomach rumble. I just closed my eyes and sighed, knowing that the laughter would soon drain from this situation.

"Please tell me you’ve eaten today," he began cautiously, testing the water.

"Mmm," I mumbled, not willing to give a coherent answer as I knew he wouldn’t like it. It wasn’t as if I’d done it on purpose. I had gotten into some random mindset that eating lunch on the way home would make up for skipping it at lunch time. Then with Mikey promptly ushering me home and all the hassle of the evening, I just didn’t even realise. I knew he wouldn’t accept that.

"Yes or no," he said calmly, sitting back up and nudging me so I couldn’t lean on him anymore.

"No," I muttered. "But-"

"Frank, what the fuck?" he frowned, placing his hand on my cheek to turn me to look at him. He knew if he didn’t then I’d avoid his accusing looks.

"Well we came home to the argument," I explained. "I was hardly going to go ’excuse me, I need some salad’ was I?"

"Yeah but before that," he pressed, smirking slightly at my sarcasm.

"Shit happens," I shrugged, unwilling to try and explain myself further. I watched as he sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and muttering under his breath.

"You can’t do this," he said plainly. "I thought you were okay?"

"I am okay," I frowned. "One day Gerard, one day. Don’t have some huge go for nothing."

"Fine." I was slightly taken aback at his sudden acceptance of the situation having expected him to put up a fight to stand his ground. Thankfully I was mistaken. "You know I won’t let this lie."

"Don’t I just," I smirked. I pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t full of intention, it was full of thanks – a thanks for actually caring. I knew right then, I didn’t see him as a brother. It was more as he had said, someone who was part of your family but not a relative. It made some warped sense to me.

I shuffled slightly closer to him and brushed his hair gently out of his face, smiling faintly at him. He bridged the small gap between our lips as I ran my hand to rest on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me.

"What the fuck?" I heard shouted. I pulled back hastily, looking over to find Mikey standing at the door with two beers in his hand, his jaw literally dropping. My heart froze.