Why Do I Live?
1/1.
I suppose that there are plenty of things in the world that people live for. Some people live for others, whether that be friends, family or a significant others. Some live for something superficial, like money, while still others live for the glorious sight of the sun rising and setting each day.
All of these things, in some way or another, are good reasons to live. However, none of them are my reason to live. I live for a much simpler and, I believe, more honest thing.
I live because I'm afraid of the alternative.
Some mornings, when I wake up and think about just how shitty the world is, I do wonder what it would be like if the world simply wasn't there. I wonder how it would feel if all of the violence and filth and cruelty dropped away, to leave me floating in nothingness. How would it feel to leave behind a world that believes murder, both real and dramatized, is entertainment; a world where we pollute our oceans with rubbish and our skies with toxins? How would it feel for it to all be gone in the blink of an eye?
I have no idea how it would feel, which is why I do get out of bed every morning, even when I just want to stay underneath my covers until I melt into my mattress.
It would be nice if there were some way to test-drive death, to have a week free trial or something like that. If that was possible, I could weigh the pros and cons of living or not living.
"I actually rather like this feeling of emptiness, could you sign me up for the full program?"
"I'm not actually a huge fan of this death business, I think I'd like to go back now."
Unfortunately, death is not a television infomercial. You can't try it for thirty days and return if it you're not satisfied. When you die, that's it. You're done. As the French say, fini. You're not coming back.
Someday, I have no doubt that we will actually be able to experience death for a day or a few moments; with the scientific advancements we've made in the past century, we should be able to do anything in a few thousand years. Maybe someday, when you're watching the futuristic Game Show Network, you'll be able to call in and order a Death Suit so we can see how it feels to die.
Until then, I think I'll take our world of filth and cruelty. At least it's better than emptiness.
All of these things, in some way or another, are good reasons to live. However, none of them are my reason to live. I live for a much simpler and, I believe, more honest thing.
I live because I'm afraid of the alternative.
Some mornings, when I wake up and think about just how shitty the world is, I do wonder what it would be like if the world simply wasn't there. I wonder how it would feel if all of the violence and filth and cruelty dropped away, to leave me floating in nothingness. How would it feel to leave behind a world that believes murder, both real and dramatized, is entertainment; a world where we pollute our oceans with rubbish and our skies with toxins? How would it feel for it to all be gone in the blink of an eye?
I have no idea how it would feel, which is why I do get out of bed every morning, even when I just want to stay underneath my covers until I melt into my mattress.
It would be nice if there were some way to test-drive death, to have a week free trial or something like that. If that was possible, I could weigh the pros and cons of living or not living.
"I actually rather like this feeling of emptiness, could you sign me up for the full program?"
"I'm not actually a huge fan of this death business, I think I'd like to go back now."
Unfortunately, death is not a television infomercial. You can't try it for thirty days and return if it you're not satisfied. When you die, that's it. You're done. As the French say, fini. You're not coming back.
Someday, I have no doubt that we will actually be able to experience death for a day or a few moments; with the scientific advancements we've made in the past century, we should be able to do anything in a few thousand years. Maybe someday, when you're watching the futuristic Game Show Network, you'll be able to call in and order a Death Suit so we can see how it feels to die.
Until then, I think I'll take our world of filth and cruelty. At least it's better than emptiness.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know this is really depressing and I greatly apologize. I swear I'm a happy person!xo.