Change

I absentmindedly put the cookies on the shelves, my eyes looking in front of me but not really seeing. I heard Miley Cyrus drone in and out of my head, but I wasn't really paying attention to that either. I wasn't thinking about anything, really, other than Taylor's eyes. Sometimes they were accompanied by a smile, sometimes they were sad like they had been the day before. His eyes seemed to draw me in; they were the one thing, when he had on his poker face, that could give him away.

I heard footsteps approaching, but I didn't look up until I heard the person stop. Even then, it took me a second to process that they were standing beside me. I looked over and stood up straight in surprise.

"Hi..." My voice came out in a quiet squeak and I turned the cookie box over and over in my hand, looking back down at it as though it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Hey." Taylor's voice was nonchalant. "What can I do to help today?"

I looked up at him and stared. I felt frustration bubbling up inside my chest. I set the cookie box on the shelf as calmly as I could and let out a sigh. "You don't have to do this," I said in a quiet voice.

Taylor scratched his head. "I want to."

"No, Taylor." My voice came out a bit harsher than I wanted it to. "Please. You really don't have to."

He took a step towards me, and I instantly took a step back. Belle's voice rang through my mind: He's proven that he's not who he used to be, Ronnie. Get over it. I tried to shake the thought, but I couldn't. All I could see was the two of us, back in high school. I couldn't let him in. I couldn't go back there.

I avoided his eyes, turning back to my cookies.

"Okay," he said after a moment. Well, I'm going to go ask your mom what I can do to help then."

I kept my head down, not showing any emotion, but my mind was spinning. 

***

Later that night, I headed down towards the staff room, passing by all the aisles. I checked to make sure everything was in place in each aisle, counting them off as okay in my head once I passed them by. Everyone had long since gone. Mom had locked the doors when she left; she was paranoid about someone coming in and killing me while I was all alone. You'd think I was still 5 years old. I had just passed aisle 4, and was a step past it when I had to backtrack. I stopped and stared, not sure if my eyes were deceiving me. It was nearly 11:30 at night. Why was he still here?

I slowly turned and headed towards him reluctantly. My shoes squeaked on the floor, and he looked up from putting away bags of pretzels. He met my eyes for a brief second before turning back to his job. I leaned against one of the shelves, silent. He put away the final few bags before standing up, brushing his hands off on his jeans, and turning to me.

"All done?"

I glanced at him and crossed my arms. I yawned and nodded. "Guess so."

He was quiet, and I instantly felt guilty for my hostility towards him earlier. It wasn't his fault that I was an overly emotional 19-year-old girl who couldn't get over the past. I owed him something... Anything. 

Pretty weird how the tables turned on that one.

I took a deep breath.

"That was my first and only kiss," I said, breaking the silence. "I haven't been with anyone since."

Taylor leaned against the shelf beside me. I saw him shake his head slightly out of the corner of my eye, before he stared mindlessly at the floor. "I wish I hadn't done it."

"It's fine," I mumbled. "It was only a kiss." I knew it was a lie, but maybe he would believe me?

Taylor pushed himself away from his spot beside me and crossed his arms, stepping forward to stand in front of me. "Not just that, Veronica. I wish I hadn't done any of it. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment." He shrugged. "I'm a jerk, and I'm sorry."

I shook my head quickly. "You're not a jerk anymore." He met my gaze, and I gave him a small smile, trying to convince him that it was just me being stupid. I needed to get over it, and it wasn't his fault that I couldn't. 

He gave me a halfhearted smile back, and I said quietly, "We should head out." He nodded, and we walked down the aisle towards the door. 

I finished my checks on the rest of the aisles, and when we stepped outside, I turned back and fished for my key in my pocket. I pulled it out and stuck it in the lock, attempting to turn it. I frowned, biting down on my lip, trying to get it to click. I sighed. I jumped a bit in surprise as Taylor's big hand covered mine. 

"Let me help," he suggested, giving me an amused smile.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I nodded, letting my hair fall in my face so that he couldn't see. He turned both of our hands to the side, and the door let out a soft click, signaling that it had locked. He pulled the key out of the lock, his hand still on mine. I gently pried my hand away and he handed me the key. I tucked my hair behind my ear and shoved it back in my pocket, thanking him quietly. We stood in silence, and I gave him a tiny, awkward smile. I turned to head to my car when I felt Taylor's hand on my right shoulder. I turned back to face him, looking up into his face. Bad mistake.

The light from over the door made his eyes a darker shade of blue, and I found myself staring into them. My stomach became restless, and I couldn't calm my body down. He hesitated before pulling me into his chest for a brief hug. He squeezed me and began to pull away, just as I reacted to the surprise act of affection and my arms wound themselves around his back. I was about to yank myself away, feeling awkward, but he simply embraced me again, tighter and longer this time. We broke apart moments later, and I quietly whispered a 'Thank you' before turning to walk away.