Dear Aoife

Cassidy Stephenson

I was laying on my back on my sheet-free mattress. I find it interesting that we’ve been here a week and yet my parents haven’t put up my bed frame yet. Well, Cameron would argue that I haven’t put sheets on my bed in the week we’ve been here either.

My response to that would be fuck off.

Anyway, in my view was my new pasty white popcorn-style ceiling. Oh how stylish, a popcorn ceiling. So that little white bumps can fall on me while I sleep, thank you Mom that is a quite lovely decorating technique I am so glad that you bought the house with one popcorn ceiling and gave it Cameron and I.

There was one small crack in the ceiling between two popcorn bumps. There it was; a flaw. How was it that Mom described this house? Perfect? Wonderful? Flawless? The best most wonderful and gorgeous place in the world? Well, maybe that was a little bit of a hyperbole, but she may as well have used those exact words.

But there it is staring me right in the face; a crack. That crack is an imperfection in my mother’s new immaculate home. I have now found the problem with this place. I’m sure I’ve saved my mother a whole hell of a lot of trouble. We may as well move now. Maybe next time it’ll be a place where finding a flaw will be a little more of a challenge.

I turned my head to the right, my brother was on his computer, which by some miracle is already set up, doing who the hell knows and who the hell gives a damn?

His bed frame is already set up. His sheets are on and so perfect that I bet you could bounce a quarter off of them. Which is exactly what he wants so he can kiss up to our bitch of a mother.

He knows she’s a bitch. He gets just as angry at her as I do, but he’s such a peacekeeper that he does just what she wants him to so that he can make her as happy as he can and kiss her ass like that little puppy he is.

“Why is your bed frame up and mine isn’t?” I asked Cameron bitterly.

“Probably because I’ve actually unpacked my sheets.” He answered without turning around. I frowned. How was that I know my brother so well that I can pinpoint his exact response? God, people are so inconceivably predictable.

“Fuck off.” I told him.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I don’t use swear words to supplement an inadequate vocabulary. I like to cuss. Sue me for using an unclean word. I shall let society send me off Siberia for using a word worthy of blurring on daytime television.

I don’t consider myself much of a lady. I mean, I have all the right body parts and, last time I checked, I am lacking a y chromosome, but I’m not a lady.
What I am is a headstrong self righteous bitch stuck in a skinny blonde 15 year old girl’s body. I would love to dye my hair brown, but my mom always said that ‘there’s no reason to change perfectly good hair’. Yet she has no problem with me spraying in six different hair colors every day. What a hypocrite.

“You can’t get rid of me, Cassidy. We share a room now, remember?” He asked me sarcastically. God, my brother is such a smartass. Its one thing about him that makes me so mad because he knows I’m smarter than him but somehow he still thinks he can win these intellectually based verbal spars.

“Which is the most asinine thing I have ever heard of before in my life! I mean, who puts a brother and sister in a room together? I want to have a place where I can play my music, have hissy fits and throw my bra on the floor without worrying one of your little friends is going to steal put it in a box frame and tell everyone that he actually saw a female nipple.” I told Cameron. He gave me an incredulous look.

“Please, Cassidy, your life could be worse. You have the entire basement to practice in, and as for hissy fits, I would prefer you warn me before you have one. As for bra throwing, I’ll make sure that none of my friends walk out with yours okay?” He told me in a condescending tone.

“Gee, would you?” I retorted sarcastically. I crossed my arms and look at my dresser to the left of my naked mattress. “I’m serious, Cam.” I told him looking back at him. “I don’t want to be in here with you. Besides, what happened to you and Nelson sharing a room? I was really in favor of that arrangement!”

“Mom wanted to give Nelson his own room before he goes off to college next year. She thought that, maybe you and I survived together in the womb, so maybe you and I could survive together in a room together. She asked me if it was okay with me and I said yes.” Cameron informed me. I guess the bitch just didn’t care about my opinion, huh?

“Please, Nelson isn’t going to leave forever. I give him a semester before he comes back and says that he just doesn’t think college is ‘right for him’.” I told Cameron. Oh, did I forget to mention my asshole of an older brother? Well he’s here, underneath my roof.

“Cassidy, you never know. He could go off to college and never come back. You should be nicer to him, at least for this year before he leaves. I know you hate him but you could try and not for just his senior year.” He lectured me. Ever the peacekeeper that one, how irritating.

“I used to not hate him, Cameron. Or don’t you remember? Back when he was our best friend and his policy was ‘I’ll always have your back’ and not ‘smoke as much weed as you want and bang as many whores as you can’.” I spat back at him. “Besides, it not my fault he’s an ass.”

“Well, it’s not his fault that you’re a bitch.” Cameron told me. I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms. I can’t stand it when my family insults me. If it had been anyone else I would have flipped them the bird and come up with some clever retort. But my own twin doesn’t deserve to get off that lightly.

“Well, thank you, Cameron. I am so grateful to be reminded of my horrible personality. I am so thankful that I have such an insightful and intuitive twin to remind me of how much of a flaw I am. I am so glad that you can tell me just how awful it is to have me in the world. You know what? Thank you, Cameron! I am so fucking grateful!” I yelled at him. I knew I had hit him right where it hurt. Cameron has too big a conscience to not let that get to him and I could see that in his face.

“I’m sorry, Cassidy. I didn’t mean it that way.” He told me in a desperate attempt to apologize.

“I know what you mean, Cam. Just got back to your computer.” I hissed, and he did as he was told.

I guess I decided I might as well unpack something and if I’m going to unpack anything it would be my iPod stereo. I pulled it out of its bubble wrapping and plugged it in. My iPod went right in it and I started to play my loudest music possible. I didn’t even care what music it was, I just wanted it to be loud.

“Can you turn that down?” Cameron asked ever so politely.

“Nope.” I told him. I sat on my mattress and stared at the ceiling again. I took in the lyrics of the loud music and let it sink into my mind and block out all my senses and wrap me up in its sound.

“I can’t concentr-“

“Nope.” I cut him off.

“Alright.” He breathed, and I smiled. This is going to be a long year.

For him at least.