Eclat

“Can we just agree that being Gavin’s ‘slutfaced bitches’ was the worst thing ever? Yes or yes?”

It was the last day of the tour and recording. I’d listened to a few snippets of the songs and was impressed, to say the least. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve broken up with Carter. I still felt awful for breaking his heart and I was in a bit of a funk for a few days. He agreed that we could stay friends and I gave him the ring back. I made him promise that he’d give it to someone who was truly deserving of it. The look in his eyes just about killed me as he nodded. Thankfully there wasn’t too much tension between us; Gavin made sure that I was too preoccupied with being his bitch to dwell on my decision.

Here I am now, lying beside Chris on a Twister mat in a field under the stars. We didn’t have any spare blankets, hence, the Twister mat, because we wanted some time alone. It was impossible to ignore the wolf whistle from Gavin as we walked out of the bus.

“You didn’t have to do much, Chris. I scrubbed nearly all of his shoes clean with a toothbrush and dish soap. And let’s not forget I had to accompany him to the gay porn section of the store.”

“Glad that I was spared from that.”

I shuddered. “There are some things that shouldn’t be in print or on film. I. . .oh god. Some of that stuff was downright terrible.”

“That bad?” He leaned on his arm, his hand propped up under his head.

“Yes.”

“Anyway, are you glad that you can return to your life and not be surrounded by a bunch of guys on a bus that smells like sweat and stale beer?”

I let out a dramatic sigh. “You know me so well.”

We looked at each other and started laughing immediately. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, which I wiped away. This was what touring was about. Spending time with friends, not worrying about whatever we had left at home, and feeling genuinely happy or at least content with life. It was going to be difficult to return home and attend university after this and I knew why. The reason this was true wasn’t solely due to the presence of the boy next to me, either. I would miss waking up late and remembering there was nowhere to go because I was in a moving vehicle headed towards a venue. I would miss hiding Chris from questionable fans with the guys joking around about it in the lounge. I would definitely miss times like this that would never cause me to regret my decision to go with them.

This was something I wouldn’t be able to forget, even if I tried. It was cliché of me to think it but the thought instantly popped into my mind: this would be the summer. The one where I realized, finally, what I had wanted all along but was too afraid to admit. I had felt paralyzed before but now the feeling of closure settling within my very core was comforting.

My eyes traced a path from the frayed ends of Chris’s jeans, his faded white v-neck shirt, and glimpses of some of his various tattoos. This was the guy that I had opened up to in more ways than I could imagine and I didn’t regret any of it. This was also the guy I had history with in terms of something much different than a romantic relationship. We’d been balancing on a tightrope like acrobats at the circus, constantly being close to veering off the edge.

Yet, here we were now, at the end of a chapter of our lives as well as the beginning of a new one.

“Chris, I want you to promise me something. I know we’re all about broken promises these days but I’m holding out my pinky finger to you, good sir,” I extended my arm, lips quirking into a smile.

Apprehension lit up his eerily somber expression. “Alright. What would that promise be?”

I prodded him with my pinky raised towards him; he obliged, hooking it with his.

“Promise me that this won’t be the only chapter of our lives where it’s like this. Just. . .sweet perfection. Sure, this summer, hell, this year had its triumphs and downfalls but regardless we enjoyed every minute of it. We’re not going to grow up and forget these times or the future memories we’ll make that may or may not compare to the old ones. Just promise me we’ll be alright.”

“Everything will be alright,” Chris agreed with a laugh. “And that was some speech you had there, Doli. Made me feel all fuzzy inside.” We both laughed after that, tears forming at the corners of my eyes eventually.

Soon, it seemed as if it was getting later on in the night but we didn’t make a move to get up. I had moved to rest on my head on his chest, his arm folded behind his head as we talked about anything that was on our minds. Then Chris told me to get up. I was confused but took his hand as he helped me up. I stretched my legs and arms, wondering what he was going to do.

“May I have this first dance with the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen?” Chris bowed, taking me into his arms as I offered my hand.

This was how it ended; us, dancing in the moonlight without any music except the kind only we could hear in that moment. Nobody asked where we went or what happened when we returned to the bus. It was understood that something had happened but we didn’t utter a word. Quietly, we went our separate ways and to sleep. My dreams were a series of vignettes that highlighted each part of the summer. However, my favourite in particular was the scene where a seemingly average girl and boy danced under the canopy of stars and the moon above, time of little importance. The girl and boy were living in the moment and that in and of itself was enough for them.