Colder Than Ourselves.

That shouldn’t have happened; I blushed, embarrassed. As soon as I did it, I knew I should have felt bad – disgusted even – for kissing him, but I didn’t. Mentally denying that I really liked it wouldn’t have solved anything. Bert didn’t seem fazed at all by my actions; instead, he merely wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my jacket.

Even though we had only been standing there for a few minutes, his words were still ringing in my ears, is it wrong if it felt right?.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his figure and we stood there swaying. It was dark; there weren’t any other people in the park besides us, and especially not anyone that would get freaked out by a twenty-something man embracing a teenage boy.

It was wrong, and it did feel right, but why? I looked down at Bert. So young, yet so… appealing at the same time; I couldn’t vouch for his innocence, but that was a quality that, even if I wasn’t sure about, I sure as hell wasn’t about to overlook…

Bert mumbled something into my chest and looked up to me, eyes sadly burning through me, questioning look on his face.

“What?” I muttered, leaning down closer to hear him.

“Just, let me try something?” Bert asked, looking at me briefly before pulling me over to a row of hedges situated between a large tree and some benches, barely even hesitating to catch my response.

“Bert, I don’t know what you’re going to try but –” my words were cut short by his lips being pressed roughly against mine, and I could feel myself falling into the kiss. God, did this boy have initiative. Pushing me backwards until I started to fall to the ground, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him with me. Things were getting more and more heated by the second, and I knew what Bert was up to the moment I felt his hands start trailing down my stomach towards the clasp of my belt.

I turned my head to the side, breaking away from the kiss to get air. My mind was racing as he trailed a few kisses down my neck and then stopped, looking up at me with a questioning look on his face.

“What are you going to do?” I asked nervously, blushing, trying to shift my leg just the slightest to attempt to hide the little “problem” I just realized I had. The answer was obvious of course, but my thoughts weren’t exactly coherent.

One of his hands was gripping the bottom of my shirt, the other was propping himself up so he could look at me properly and gave me a patient look. “I can, uh, help you with your problem there Gee,” my heart skipped a little at the name – even though a lot of people called me that, Bert saying it just made my insides go nuts, “you can tell me if you want me to stop – I will.” Visually confirming this, I bit my lip and nodded. Sitting up, his hands quickly moved to my belt, unclasping it, as well as undoing the button and zipper on my jeans. As soon as he started pulling my pants down, I suddenly got really nervous – Bert had started laughing.

“What? What are you laughing at?” My head, which had fallen onto the grass, lifted up and fell back down.

“You wear tighty-whiteys?” he chuckled incredulously, not meaning to offend me, probably.

“Hey,” I pointed at him, “you’d wear them too if it were the only thing that turned your hateful wife off.”

He shook his head, lowering it to my body again, and lifted my shirt licking a small patch of skin right above my underwear line, looking back up at me… was it seductively? Oh god. “We’re gonna have to get you some boxers.”

And with one swift movement, before I could even catch my breath, my underwear was down. I tried not to look, I really tried, but when I felt his mouth close around me, I was startled. My eyes immediately shot down to Bert’s face again, only to see a completely serene expression fall across his features, and I was done for. I surrendered. That little voice that was trying to scream “everything about this situation is wrong, you perverted fuck!” got shot down brutally by the other voice screaming in victory. His hot breath, the feel of his tongue swirling around me, the way every once in a while he’d accidentally scrape his teeth along the bottom… unfortunately enough for me, besides my own hand, Little Gerard hadn’t seen any real action in a long time, so it wasn’t that long until it was ready to go off. Sparing Bert’s scalp, my hands clawed their way into the ground beside me, gathering up fistfuls of grass in the process, my fingernails covered in dirt by the time he was finished.

After pulling my underwear and my pants back up, he hovered over my body, kissing me on the lips with the mischievous gleam in his eye that never seemed to leave, “now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I didn’t admit it vocally, but it was pretty obvious what I thought.

We stayed there behind the bushes in a comforting embrace for only god knows how long. I didn’t even remember the fact that Bert wasn’t even supposed to be out of the house until I heard his breathing slow down to almost the steady pace Bandit’s got when she was completely asleep.

“Bert,” I whispered, nudging his head slightly with my chin until he grunted, “you’re about to fall asleep. You need to go home…” My heart sank at the thought, but I didn’t want him to get in any more trouble than was necessary for one night. Besides, it’s not like I wouldn’t be seeing him at work anymore… possibly.

“Carry me” he mumbled into my shoulder.

I laughed, “I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to walk,” I sat up. Bert reluctantly got up onto his feet after I did, and we headed off into the direction of his house, my arm around his waist.