You Said You Read Me Like A Book

Gerard’s POV

I leaned against the car and sighed. I had no idea where she could fucking be. I looked over at Mikey, who was kicking a rock around. Lindsey walked over and put her arm around my waist. I looked down at her and the guilt continued to eat away at my heart. Her brown eyes gazed into mine, and I knew she was questioning my love for her. In truth, I loved her dearly. For some reason, though, my love for Ashlyn burned a little brighter. I don’t know why, and I, in a way, wish it would stop. Ashlyn was a very beautiful, funny, smart girl, but that’s the thing. She was just a girl, and I took that away from her. I had no business being with her, and I knew it. I just, something inside of my head just didn’t click. Now, she has to pay for my mistake.

“Gee, it’ll be okay, honey, ”she said softly. I closed my eyes and shook my head. She looked at me with confusion and I sighed.

“It’s not okay. It can’t ever be okay, ”I choked out. She furrowed her brows with worry. She was about to open her mouth to speak when Mikey walked over to us.

“Sorry to break this up, but I just thought about something. Why don’t we call the police?” He suggested. This seemed to set something off in Lindsey’s head because she looked at me and then at him.

“She has a phone, right?” She asked us. I nodded slowly. “Then, why don’t one of you call her?” I hit my head for not having thought of that sooner. I grabbed my phone, but then, I stopped to look at Mikey.

“You wanna call her?” I asked softly.

“She wouldn’t answer if I did, ”he shrugged. I nodded and proceeded to dial her
number. It rang a few times, and finally, she answered.

“Hey, Gee, ”she greeted softly.

“Where the hell did you go?” I asked quietly. I heard her sigh.

“I couldn’t hurt him anymore, Gee!” She said softly. I rubbed my forehead for a second.

“What are you talking about?” I asked in a mix of frustration and confusion.

“It’s a really long story…”

“I don’t have anything better to do, ”I said quietly.

“Okay, are you alone?” She asked softly.

“No, Lindsey and Mikey are right here. We’ve been looking for you all day, ”I replied honestly. She sighed again.

“Can they hear me?” She asked instead.

“No.”

“Okay, ”she sighed. “You can’t get mad.”

“I won’t, ”I promised.

“Okay, well… A few days after you and I broke up, I was talking with Mikey…”She said softly.

“Okay.”

“And, he told me that he was in love with me… And so, he and I kinda got together… And then, the other day, Lindsey came over and she was pissed because she thought you were cheating on her, ”she continued.

“I knew that.”

“Okay, well… After she left, Mikey and I got in a fight because he realized at that time that you and I were not just friends…”

“And…”

“And he got mad… So, as I was laying in bed, I began to think that I should just leave… And I did. I can’t cause you guys anymore problems… Lindsey really loves you and Mikey doesn’t deserve to have to put up with me… It was weird though, because you had both told me that you loved me…”

“Well, it’s true. However, I think he’s better for you, ”I said without thinking. There was a silence and then, I heard someone cough. “Look, where are you?”

“I’m safe, Gee. Don’t worry about me, ”she said softly.

“Ash, where are you at? Who are you with?” I asked frantically.

“It doesn’t matter, because I’m safe. I’m sorry, Gerard. For everything. Don’t worry about me.”

“Ashlyn, answer me.” There was a click. “Ashlyn? Ashlyn? FUCK!” I slammed my phone shut. I looked at Mikey who was watching me intently.

“So, where is she?” He asked softly.

“No fucking idea! She just said, “It doesn’t matter, because I’m safe.”” I relayed the message. He hung his head and I sighed, hit my head against the car.

“Baby, calm down, ”Lindsey requested, putting her hand on my back. I looked at her and clenched my jaw.

“I can’t calm down, Lindsey, ”I spat. “I can’t fucking calm down. This is so fucking messed up.”

“Gerard, what’s going on?” She asked me softly.

“This is all my fault. She should’ve been with you, “I cried to Mikey. “It always should’ve been you! I had no place with her! You guys were perfect together! I think that’s why I hate myself so much. I knew that you loved her, but like always, I guess I just didn’t fucking care until it was too late!” His eyes widened in shock and he looked to Lindsey, whose mouth was agape slightly as she tried to process everything.

“Gerard, what did you do?” She choked.