You Said You Read Me Like A Book

“Shit, fuck, shit, damn, shit, ”I muttered quietly, pacing the room. The Rev watched me as I paced, and Mikey was trying to calm me down.

“You can do this. She won’t kill you, ”he promised. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him. I felt my eye twitch.

“She won’t kill me?” I choked. He nodded slowly. “She’s going to come with him?!” He nodded again. I groaned and returned to pacing until the doorbell rang. I felt my heart stop, and The Rev pulled me to the couch. He stroked my hair, trying to calm me down.

“You can get through this. I’m here for you, ”he whispered to me. I nodded shakily. Mikey opened the door and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I buried my face in The Rev’s shoulder. I heard him cross the room and I knew that, if I looked up, I’d see him standing over me. “You have to climb the mountain if you ever want to pass it.”

“Can’t I just find another way?” I muttered. He laughed quietly.

“Sweetie, you have to talk to him… Either when I’m here or alone, but you still have to, ”he insisted. I sighed and slowly sank back into the couch. Gerard stood in front of me. His eyes full of wonder or worry or hurt, but I couldn’t tell which. I averted his eyes, so I settled on staring at the cuff of my pants.

“Ashlyn, ”he said softly. I couldn’t say anything. “Ashlyn, look at me.” My line of sight remained on my pants. He knelt down in front of me, and I had no choice but to look at him. “Please, talk to me.” I bit my tongue and he sighed. “Alright, fine. I have some things that I need to say to you. First of all, you shouldn’t have run away… Second of all, Lindsey knows… Third, I really think you should be with Mikey… and lastly…”He sighed, before wrapping his arms around me. “I missed you so much… I was so worried about you… You can’t do that to us…”I nodded slowly and the tears welled up in my eyes again. He pulled away and I looked to Lindsey who was smiling sympathetically. I took a deep breath and looked to The Rev who nodded. I got up and walked over to her.

“Lindsey… I am so sorry…”I said quietly. She pulled me into a tight hug. “I feel so bad about everything. Please, forgive me…”

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just calm down, ”she cooed. I pulled away from her, and then, I turned to face everyone else.

“Well, you guys are my family…”I smiled faintly. “Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I hope that we can actually be more like a family…”

“Don’t forget the Avenged Green Boys, ”The Rev chimed in. I smiled at his retarded name for the rest of the guys that I had met. I nodded.

“What the fuck are the Avenged Green Boys?” Gerard asked, obviously confused.

“My new friends, ”I beamed. Mikey tilted his head. I rolled my eyes. “I met the guys of Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day, and Fall Out Boy, and Frank, but he’s not exactly in a band, I don’t think.”

“Ah, so that’s where you’ve been, ”Gerard laughed. I nodded slowly and Lindsey laughed.

“I told you that she was in good hands, ”she reminded him. He nodded slowly and I groaned quietly as the baby kicked me roughly.

“Fucking baby…”I muttered. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy for a minute. I rolled my eyes. “It keeps fucking kicking me…”They all had the expression of sudden understanding and I laughed.

“Speaking of babies… I think we need to talk about that, ”Gerard said seriously. I sighed and nodded slightly. “What are we going to do?”

“Well, I’ve already put some thought into this, ”The Rev announced. We all looked at him. “Ashlyn, the way I see it is that you are not mentally, physically, emotionally, nor financially equipped for a child. Now, I have a few ideas. One of them is that after the baby is born, Gerard and Lindsey legally adopted it. Another is that, in the event that the baby is born and you cannot let go, we all help you. You know very well that we are financially stable, to say the least. We could also babysit while you go back to school. I mean, it would work either way. And there are other options. Those are just the best two that I came up with.” I thought this over for a minute. I knew, for a fact, that the guys would be there for me. On the other hand, even with help, raising a child would be really hard. I sighed.

“Lindsey and I both work, ”Gerard sighed. “The baby would just be with a babysitter all the time anyways.” I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Well, it’s up to you, Shay, ”Mikey reminded me. I nodded again.

“I’ll think about this… Jimmy?” I asked, turning back to him.

“Yes?”

“Can you come back and pick me up tomorrow? I want to talk to the guys about this. I want to see what they think, ”I decided. He nodded.

“Of course. It’s whatever you want to do, ”he said patiently. I nodded again.

“Well, I don’t know yet, but when I do? You’ll be the first to know.”