Just Friends

The air smelled clean like it should after a rain. The sidewalk was wet from one of the few rains we got in Cali. It was wet enough it dampened my old, tennis shoes, putting me in a worse mood. The sun was now shining, but I didn’t notice. It was like I had my own personal little rain cloud following me around that day.

Something in my stomach ached, a sense of foreboding, as I made my way up to the front steps of the house and knocked. No one answered so I let myself in. The house was dark and quiet as I made my way to the back room. I stopped by the door, my hands ran through my short, dyed black hair; a nervous habit.

I opened the door and peeked inside. Rob was passed out on his bed. I quietly walked up beside him and leaned forward until my face was right next to his ear. "ROB!"

He jerked awake and looked up at me with blurry eyes. "What the hell, Jen?"

"Good morning," I said, perkily.

He glanced at the clock. "Its four."

I put my hands on my hips and glowered down at him. "Well then good afternoon, jack ass." I turned away and began rummaging through his drawers, throwing stuff aside.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Looking for your stash," I said simply, moving to a different drawer.

I heard him snort. "If my parents can't find it, you can't."

I slammed the drawer shut and glared at him over my shoulder. "Rob, you have got to stop."

He shook his head and smirked. "No, I don't. I'm fine."

I sprang to my feet. "I am so tired of covering your ass all the time!" I exclaimed, running my hand through my hair again.

"I never asked you to!" he shot back.

"But that's what best friends do, Rob! We're supposed to have each other's backs!" I glanced at the drumset in the corner of the room, dust already accumulating on them. "You don't even play the drums anymore."

He shook his head. "You just don't get it."

"Help me get it Rob, I want to help you, but you're not letting me!" Tears stung my eyes but I tried to ignore them.

"I don't want your help, Jen!" He yelled getting up unsteadily from his bed. "I don't give a fuck what you think about me! I've got my own life and I don't need you nosing around in it!"

I stared at him for a moment in shock, unable to believe what he’d just said. Then the yelling and the screaming really started. A lot of hurtful and terrible things were said, things that I don't care to remember. Finally, I shoved him hard and sprinted through the dark house and out the door.

That had been our Junior year of high school. After that, I never talked to Rob again, and he never talked to me. Eventually, he disappeared into the background at school and I moved to Oregon with my family. I'd always been the artistic, awkward, little wall flower that had no friends because she didn't try. Rob had always been quiet too. He and I had met in seventh grade at Agoura HS and we'd been pretty much inseparable after that.

Rob was one of the best drummers I've ever seen in my life. He taught me how to play. I was never as good as he was, but I had a knack for it just like all the other instruments I played. Then, with all the bands he got into, it led to drugs. He drank a lot too. He began skipping school and any time I'd come to his house, he'd usually be passed out or completely fried.

I had gotten a little rebellious in high school too. I went all Emo/punk(I don't think I even fit in any category actually), smoked a little, put some awesome graffiti on the side of the school. I wasn't bothered by the teachers often because I got such good grades. That's how Rob kept from failing most of the time. I did his homework for him. I was still that lonely, weird kid and my best friend was seriously killing himself.

"I can't believe we're seeing Linkin Park!" Teal squealed from the passenger seat, nearly hitting her head on the ceiling of the tiny Rodeo Zusu. I swear, if she said that one more time, I was going to have to kill her.

Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE Linkin Park. Their music speaks to me in ways other music never could. And that's what makes me hate them even more. I love Chester, I love Mike, and Brad, and Joe, and Dave. Its that damn drummer Rob Bourdon I can't stand

He makes me want to punch someone in the face. Preferably his–or at this moment, Teal's. I'd tried to forget Rob, figuring he'd die of a drug overdose and I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. You can only imagine my surprise the first time I saw a Linkin Park music video and there was what I thought looked like Rob on the drums. I’d Googled it and sure enough it said the drummer was Rob Bourdon. I had about crapped myself.

My head rested against the window as I stared at the green landscape of Oregon. We were driving to Portland which wasn't far from where Teal and I shared a house. I was a photographer for the city's newspaper. It was a fairly large town and I had gotten the job to go and snap shots of the big concert in Portland. Being the great friend I am, I got good tickets for Teal and her boyfriend Dustin.

We made our way into Portland as Teal continued to have her continual spazz attack. I probably should be joining her, but some little part of me didn't want to see Rob, even from a distance. We got into the parking garage, beating a Mustang to a parking spot thanks to Dustin's insane driving. That kid scared me.

When we got into the arena, already hundreds of people were at their seats. We made our way to the bottom. I found a security guard and showed him my pass. I split from my friends and followed the huge guy into a special part at the front of the stage. I was between a little fence and the stage. Hopefully no insane maush pit started or I was going to be squished. Maybe Chester or Mike(not Rob!) would drop down and save me. People were chatting excitedly, their voices making a steady thrum in the air. The excitement was high and I found my palms were sweating for a reason I didn’t know.

I made conversation with another photographer as spectators flooded in. The lights slowly dimmed and the crowd erupted. Lights began to flash and a face showed upon the screen. "There’s a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious...” Excitement flooded my veins as I recognized the dialogue of the beginning of "Wretches and Kings” with the "crazy Hitler guy"–as Teal and I called him for some reason. “...upon all the apparatus and you’ve got to make it stop!” The music blared from the speakers, nearly blowing out my eardrum.

"To save face, how low can you go?" When Mike came out, I screamed just like any of the other fans did, almost forgetting why I was there, before I snapped a picture of Mike. God, he looked even more awesome than I thought. I looked around me, noticing how close I was to Dave and took a good picture of him as well. Brad and Joe were over on the other side. I looked reluctantly towards the drums and with the flashes of light, I saw Rob. Through the drums, and at my angle, I could only get glimpses. I'd have to wait until the giant screen showed him, but I got a picture anyway just for good measure. “Now everybody go...”

That's when I noticed Chester making his way to the front of the drumset platform and I got my camera ready. Right before the chorus he jumped and I caught an image of him in midair, his arms wide, his feet behind him as he hovered a few feet over the stage floor.

When they sang "One Step Closer", Chester came right in front of me towards the end of his Shut Up sequence and bent down to scream right at me: “I’M ABOUT TO BREAK I took the picture and he gave me a little smile as he moved on down the stage. That was possibly the most amazing moment of my entire life!

It was pretty much the best concert I've ever been to I was constantly running back and forth getting pictures of all six guys, singing along with every word. I'd look up at the screen occasionally and see Rob banging down on his drums. His hair was longer than I’d ever expected it to be. Seeing him up there didn’t really give me the feel of reality yet; it was just like I was watching him on TV still.

To soon, they sang their encore of Given Up and were gone. I met Dustin and Teal at one of the stairs, adrenaline still pulsing through me, and showed them my pictures.

"Dude, these are awesome!" Dustin smiled, holding one side of the camera. "That one of Chester is frickin' amazing!"

"Ma'am?" I turned around to see another very big body guard coming towards me. Crap. What did I do now? "With your pass you're allowed backstage for a short time. I'd figure I'd let you know since you seemed to be having a great time." He smiled at me. I returned it, slightly embarrassed.

"Cool. Thanks. Can my friends come?" He nodded and we followed him.

"Holy Jesus, we're gonna meet Linkin Park!" Teal squealed.

I grinned right back at her. We made our way to the back of the stage where several other lucky people were lined up to get autographs. We moved slowly in the line and I took notice of what order they were in. It was Chester, Brad, Mike, Dave, Rob, and Joe. I took off my military cap and fluffed my blonde hair, making sure I didn't have bad hat hair.

When I put my cap down in front of Chester, he smiled at me. "You're the photographer, right?" he asked, signing my cap.

"Yeah," I said, nodding and smiling back. Chester Bennington was talking to me!

"You’re a pretty big fan," he stated and I nodded again. "I could tell."

He moved the cap off to Brad who greeted me with a smile and then Mike. I'd met Brad and Mike back in high school with Rob. I'd talked to Brad more than once, and I'll admit, I'd had a thing for Mike, but I didn't expect them to remember me. They didn't, but they were friendly. Dave asked if I liked the show and then I was to Rob.

He said "Hey" and smiled, looking down as he signed his autograph. I'd thought I'd get away with it, until he looked up at me. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "Jen?" Crap.

I put on a little smile. "Hey, Rob." Both Teal and Joe were looking at us strangely. It was probably weird for Rob to know a fan and I could only imagine what was going through Teal's head. I'd never told her I'd went to high school with Rob Bourdon.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"Good."

"God, its been forever."

"Since Junior year," I replied tightly. He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Rob...you're holding up the line," Joe noted.

Rob looked at Joe, like he was just realizing he was there, and then he looked back at me. "We should catch up. Maybe we could hang out after we're done here."

Oh God, no! "Well, actually..." I started.

"We'd–she'd love to," Teal cut in. I widened my eyes at her and ever so slightly shook my head, but she ignored me. "We'll–she'll just wait, kay?" Joe handed me my hat and Teal tugged me out of the line and down the hall.