The Story Of Us

I can’t believe I let this pain go through me for so long. Yes, I’m fine now but not totally. After what happened, after what I said, after what I heard him say…I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I go through life and not bother looking back? Or maybe I should try and make this right? Maybe I’ll get lucky, and he’ll forget all of what happened then. Sure, now that I think about it, it wasn’t really that big a deal. But it was then, because my stupid mind was telling me it was. How could I let my heart fall for him so easily then, and how can I possibly let it go through this whole liking stage again?

The school bus began to rumble down my street as I sat up straighter, looking through the window. Kids around me acting like your usual middle school and high school teenagers. Loud. My mind wouldn’t stop going back to those thoughts. I keep thinking, maybe it’s because I’ve been pushing the thought away for so long. Or maybe I’m just pathetic…no! I may be a lot of things such as shy, clumsy, silly, and so on. But no matter what, I am not pathetic. Pathetic is being pitiful, and I doubt I was anywhere near pitiful.

Why should I let this crap go through my mind. It wasn’t my fault any of it happened, it was simply something God must have wanted me to go through. Something like a sign he was trying to tell me. Unfortunately I haven’t figured out the sign to it yet. Hopefully someday I will though.

Hopefully…