The Story Of Us

I’m falling,
And you don’t seem to care
I’m falling,
But you don’t want to know that
I’m falling,
And I don’t know how to stop
I’m falling,
But you don’t want to know that

Days, Months, Years have passed,
I’m falling,
I may have always been falling,
Falling deeper and deeper,
Falling but I don’t understand why,
Falling but I don’t know what to do about it,

Your different,
I’m different,
Before I thought I was done falling,
Falling deeper and deeper into like with you,
Falling and I wonder if it’s normal to feel this,
Sure it is, but sometimes I doubt it does,
Doubt like it only happens to me,
Until I hear other girls say how they feel for a boy.

Seeing their crush,
And suddenly no one else matters,
Looking into their eyes
And they forget everything,
Talking to them,
And half the time you just forget
Forget what you even said,
Forget everything about what you’ve said,
Forget everything,
Except those eyes,
Those eyes are the only thing you remember the most,

Falling and I think,
Am I falling because,
Falling because of him?
Falling because I’ve met him?
Falling because he’s different even if he doesn’t show it?
Falling for some stupid reason that I can’t think of?

I’m falling,
And I think about him once again,
I’m falling now,
And thinking about what’ll happen,
What’ll happen when I see him again,
Every girl thinks like that,
Every girl understands,
Even though they might not say it
Reject it, and tell you they never have,
Every girl has,

I’m falling,
Before I met him I wasn’t falling this hard,
I wasn’t falling this fast in the night of colorful dreams,
Sure it may sound cheesy,
Sure it may sound stupid,
But it’s how I feel when I see him,

I’m falling,
Deeper and deeper in like with him.

I stare down at the poem, my mind whirling with all these ‘What if’s’. You know that feeling when you like a guy, and you feel like no girl will ever feel like how your feeling? Well that’s unfortunately how I’m feeling right now. And it’s been almost two years since I’ve actually talked to him. Sure, we’ve said ‘hi’ or a little wave a few times through those two years, but it hasn’t been an actual conversation. Not in a while.

God, this is killing me! Not physically, but mentally…of course. I’m sorry for quoting desperate, yet, crush-related poems and quotes like this. But I can’t seem to help it! For some reason he can’t get off my mind, every second and everyday. He’s always on my mind. I’ve never felt this way for any other guy before, and of course never any other guy in my grade.

Well duh! Of course I’ve never liked any guy in my grade like him, right now I’m a sophomore in high school. So that’s all I’ll say, I’m sure a lot of the girls out there understand how immature half the guys that go to high school ar…wait scratch that. ALL (besides him, well sometimes) act immature. I will admit, every guy has his perverted moments, it’s a guy’s nature apparently to act like that from time to time. No, I won’t blame them, that’s how God created them.

I’ve written two entries in here and still haven’t explained anything, except for my stupid babbling mouth going on about what’s been happening. I’m sorry, and I will explain to you about myself, and about who this mysterious ‘he’ guy is I keep bringing up.

Well, where to start. You already know I’m a sophomore in high school. Also one thing you should know is this; I’ve never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never been in love. Yes, I’m a virgin, let’s just make that totally clear here. I don’t believe in sex before marriage like almost everybody in my school thinks. Rarely anybody in my grade are still virgins. But my best friend is still one, so I’m not alone…THANK GOD!

My name is Abela Jones, and I am a hopeless romantic. That is one thing I am NOT afraid to admit to anyone. I can easily admit it, whether they ask me, talk to me and stuff like that comes up, or is my close friend.

“Hey,” my friend Cale greeted me one day as I walked into my third period class. There were only ten more minutes of the class, so the teacher let everyone just talk for the rest of the time.

“Hi,” I greeted back to him with a smile. Okay, maybe I should explain something quick here. Cale is a senior right now, and we use to like-like each other. I know, we told each other this. But, after getting to know him a little better I saw sides of him that were a BIG turndown in my department. Not that’s he’s not attractive or anything, he is. He’s got dark brown skin, really short black hair, and loves to talk. Yes, he’s black okay? Truthfully I don’t get why people are so stiff on blacks and whites dating. Seriously it shouldn’t be THAT big a deal. It’s the 21st century for crying out loud!

But one day after I saw the side of him I didn’t like, he asked me out and I turned him down. Gently, don’t worry. I hate hurting people, and I said, quoting; “I think we should just be friends.” He shrugged it off and said ok, so we are just friends. However I got to admit, it’s a little weird when we have one-on-one conversations together now. I mean, since we know we use to like each other. Wouldn’t you feel that way if you were in my situation? I know I would…wait I was in this situation so of course I feel this way.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“N-”

“I’M HYPER!” another student in my class interrupted me. His name is Sawyer Landerson and he is TALL! Well, not Lebron James tall, but pretty close.

“Nothing really,” I spoke to him and looked at Sawyer, “What are you doing?”

“I just finished my three Monsters.”

Playfully I swatted my hand at his face, like I was going to slap him. Not really.

“So how’s life?” I say trying to avoid him, speaking only to Cale.

“Life…is good.”

So, here’s the thing. It’s a little hard to have a normal conversation with Cale and not think about what almost happened between us. With Sawyer, well, I always joke around with him like that, we became decent friends this year. Not like friends-friends, but classmate friends is more like it.

I realized I haven’t explained the poem in the beginning at all, have I? It’s what I’m feeling for him, Adam Wilson. I’ve first started talking to him back in eighth grade, we had two classes together and that was when I use to dress like a tom-boy. Not anymore though, I dress like a girly-girl, but still sort of in the middle with the whole…how should I call this. Girl-style. You know, either you’re a tom-boy, partly-tom-boy, or girly girl. Well I’m in the middle.

I don’t know when back in eighth grade I started liking him. But then it was just a little minor crush, or I thought it was going to stay that way. Apparently these feelings plan to stay for a while now. I guess, like, in my opinion he’s really nice and funny, and I just loved talking to him.

Is that so wrong, I don’t think so.