Save Your Heart

My phone vibrated loudly on the kitchen counter as I was making dinner for Natalie and I. I wiped my hands on a nearby dishtowel and picked up my phone. It was a text message from Derek. It read: I miss you, beautiful, with a smiley face. I was beaming as I read it. I missed him too, a lot. It’s been two weeks and three days since Derek’s been gone. I was finally getting use to not being able to walk over to his apartment and give him a hug. It’s been hard, harder than I thought it would be. We didn’t get to talk much; twice a day at the most. It was quite a difference when you get use to talking to someone every minute of everyday practically. I texted him back saying, “I miss you more.”

“Hey!” Natalie chimed walking through the door. She started working as a receptionist at a hair salon a week ago. It was the first time I’ve seen her with a job in a couple of years. It seemed like Brooks was making her turn over a new leaf, he at least put a smile on her face everyday. It was nice not having a new guy at the apartment every day, too. “Yay! You’re making dinner. It smells so good.”

I smiled at her as she sat down at the kitchen counter. “It’s lasagna.”

“You seem to be doing better today.”

I placed the pan of lasagna in the stove and set the timer. “Yeah. I’m doing okay. How was work?” I took a seat next to her.

“It was long, but okay. I’m not complaining. Oh my God, that smells so good!”

“I hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

“Your dinners are always good.” She complimented me as she stepped down from the stool and went over to a laundry basket sitting near her bedroom door. She switched her dressy work shirt with a huge t-shirt, then took off her dress pants and threw on some shorts. “My favorite part of the day, getting out of those stupid clothes. You’re so lucky, you don’t have to dress up all the time.”

I shrugged. “Sometimes I wish I did.”

Natalie sifted through the clothes in the laundry separating the clean from the dirty. “Oh man, why would you even think that?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t enjoy my major anymore. I hate going to school.”

“Where’s Rylin Marie and what have you done with my best friend? You’re the geek who loves school.” She stood up and faced me with a shocked expression on her face.

I chuckled. “I think I need to find a new major.”

She bent down and grabbed a pair of jeans and folded them. “Find something you like.”

Natalie’s words made me flashback to first week I spent with Derek. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. That was one of the best weeks I had ever had. During one of our night long conversations, I remember Derek asking me what I was passionate about. I told him about my interest in photography and how I never got into it, because I felt like I wouldn’t be good at it. He told me to prove myself wrong. This was the perfect moment to do so.

“What are you smiling about?” Natalie asked interrupting my thoughts. I didn’t even realize I had been smiling. She was almost done folding the pile of clean clothes.

“I think I’ve found something I like.” I immediately got up from my seat and grabbed my laptop from the coffee table. I plopped down on the couch and did some google searching.

“Lucky you. Sometimes that takes years for someone to figure out.” I heard Natalie answer behind me. Her voice was fading, she must have been putting her laundry away. My fingers typed enthusiastically with each camera and job I researched. While I was waiting for a website to load I checked my phone; I had no new messages. My high started to go away. I had been hoping for a message back from Derek, he rarely texted or called back right away though. I wanted to share this moment with him so badly. I knew he would be equally as happy for me as I was since he was the one who gave me the idea. I just wanted him here.