Save Your Heart

Derek and I drove to the church together since he picked me up from my house the previous night. He walked around the front of the car to my side and opened my door for me. Every time I saw him, my heart would melt. I didn’t know how much I missed him until I spent so much time with him for almost a whole day. I forgot how much I just loved him being there during my daily routine. Knowing he was in the other room while I was getting ready made me feel secure. When I got out of the car, he went to grab my hand, but I swiftly brushed a strand of hair out of my face before his hand touched mine. I didn’t want anyone assuming anything about us, especially since this was Natalie and Brooks’s day.

We were the last ones to arrive at the church. Natalie, Brooks, both of their parents, and the wedding party were already there. I spotted Natalie and Brooks in front of the church talking to the priest.

I felt a hand lightly touch my arm, I looked over to see Natalie’s mom beside me. “Hello, dear!” She cooed. “How nice it is to see you!” She grabbed both of my arms and roughly pulled me closer to her for a hug.

When she finally let go, I grinned at her. “It’s nice to see you as well.” We proceeded to make small talk and catch up with each other’s lives while Derek stood awkwardly next to me. After a few minutes of chatting, Natalie’s mom finally realized the tall man standing next to me. “And is this your boyfriend?” I rolled my eyes slightly. Of course she would think that, all older woman thought any guy around girls were their boyfriends.

“Oh no. Derek’s the best man. Derek, this is Natalie’s mom, Debra.” I replied politely. I smiled over at Derek. He didn’t smile back in return though. He had a somber look on his face, in fact. I shot him a confused face, but he ignored me. When Natalie’s mom held out her hand to him, he instantly put a fake smile on his face and shook her hand.

“Oh I’ve heard a lot about you!” She exclaimed. I started to wonder what things she had been told. Who knows what Natalie could have told her.

“It’s nice to meet you, m’am.” Derek greeted her kindly. His kindness always made me like him even more than the second before. I barely had a mean bone in his body.

“What a handsome young man you are!” I watched Derek’s face turn scarlet. I smiled at his adorableness. It always boggled my mind how Derek could be embarrassed by a comment like that. He should know how good looking he was, I did of course. Debra nudged my arm and leaned in towards my ear. “I wouldn’t mind walking down the aisle with him.” I laughed nervously. If only she knew what was going on in my head.

All of a sudden, Natalie clapped her hands three times, then announced, “We’re starting rehearsal! Everyone take your places!” Her personality was very bubbly and perky. She skipped over to Derek and I. “Hi! So you two are going to go right before I go. You’re all the way in back of all of the other bridesmaids and grooms. Okay? Okay!” She talked really fast. It was hard for me to keep up with her.

She pointed towards the back of the church, then skipped back to the front of the church to show everyone else where to go. Derek and I walked side by side to where she showed us. Not a word was spoken during our walk. I watched him to see if his facial expression changed or if it seemed like he wanted to say something to me. He didn’t budge. We took our spot in back of the wedding party and stood in silence. Derek wouldn’t even look at me.

A few minutes later, Natalie took her place behind us with her father by her side. She was as giddy as a school school, her legs could barely stand still.

“I am so excited!” She squealed. Both her father and I giggled at her. She was so cute and happy. I was happy for her. “Oh my God!” She jumped up and down as we waited for the wedding party to start moving through the aisle.

“Calm down!” I laughed. “You won’t have any energy for tomorrow.”

“I can’t help it!” She whispered excitedly in return. “Oh c’mon, would they start already?” She peaked on the side of the aisle to see what was going on in front. Just as she said that, we heard the wedding march start playing. This only made Natalie jump higher.

“If you act like this tomorrow, I’ll be embarrassed to walk with you, babydoll.” Natalie father joked. She playfully punched his arm. They both laughed with each other. I don’t think Natalie could stop smiling.

I felt a nudge on my side, it was Derek. I spun around to see that it was our turn to walk. I went to loop my arm through Derek’s, but his arm didn’t move; he kept strictly to his side, not letting my hand through. He still wasn’t looking at me. We began walking down the aisle slowly. He kept his gaze straight forward while mine was fixed on him. I hoping he would give me some kind of sign as to what was the matter. He turned to the right to join the other groomsmen. I turned to the left to join the bridesmaids. I continued to watch him when I took my place. This time he wasn’t looking forward, but down at his feet with his hands in his jean pockets.

My perturbed mood was quickly interrupted by Natalie bouncing down the aisle. A smile was immediately brought to my face for her. Throughout the entire rehearsal, she was vivacious and excitedly, she didn’t stop jittering the entire time. Brooks’s eyes didn’t leave her either. He watched her with a grin on his the whole rehearsal. As I watched the happy couple, I couldn’t help but get a glimpse of Derek beside them. He was still looking down at his feet. It didn’t seem like he was listening to a word they were saying.

“Thank God, THAT’S over.” Natalie exclaimed when rehearsal finally ended. We all headed down to the church basement to dinner. There was a big table all set and spaghetti waiting for us in the middle of the table. Natalie grabbed my hand and dragged me over to sit next to her. Brooks, of course, took the seat on the other side of her. The dinner smelled so scrumptious. Everyone dug in the minute they sat down. There wasn’t much talk going on, since everyone was so hungry. I wasn’t hungry though. I glanced around the table, Derek was no where to be seen. I wouldn’t think of eating right now, all I could think about was Derek. I only saw him a few minutes ago and I already missed him.

I excused myself from the table and began my search for him. I looked inside every door in the basement, he was no where to be seen. I assumed he was upstairs in the church, but I couldn’t find him when I looked throughout there either. Where could he be? I was starting to get worried. I could feel my heart rate becoming faster. I jogged towards the church doors and pushed them open hoping he would be sitting on the steps. He wasn’t. Next, I walked quickly through the parking lot in the direction of his car. His car is the only place I could think he could be. Thankfully, there he was leaning up against his car with a lighted cigarette in his hand. My heart slowed down to a steady beat.