Haunted

"Everyone has two choices. We are either full of love... or full of fear." ~ Albert Einstein

Chapter 11

The drive home was silent; I knew he was more pissed than I had ever seen him. Usually I would have changed the station from the mellow station he always had it on, but I didn’t wanna make any type of sudden move.

Every so often he would make a noise, like, an irritated noise, an I-can’t-believe-it noise, a scoff or huff here and there. The ride only takes like, ten minutes but it felt like a couple hours.

We pulled into the parking spot and got out of the car, and walked into the apartment building, into the elevator then finally into the apartment. I was just about to turn the corner to go to my room but Uncle Will stopped me.

“Don’t even think about going to your room yet, Ryley Evelyn Schuester,” he said very firmly.

I went wide eyed, it was the very first time I had never heard him use my middle name, I took a seat at the dining room table, he sat across from me.

“You wanna tell me about Rachel’s house on Saturday?”

I slumped further down into my seat, “It was a party.”

He sat up straighter, “And you drank to the point of being drunk?”

All I did was nod.

He did a little scoff and ran his hands through his hair, “Ryley, why would you lie to me? What if something happened to you? If I lost you like I lost Alec and Harper and Blake, I would die, Ryley.”

“It wasn’t like that though, Kurt and Finn weren’t drinking and Finn drove me to his house,” I tried to explain, but looking at his face, I was sure he wasn’t interested.

His eyes narrowed, “And the assembly today? Everyone had something to drink. Santana vomited. Brittany vomited all over Rachel!” he let out an annoyed sigh, “I didn’t think that one, you would get drunk at a party after I trusted you to let you go to a party. Two, that you would drink in school, twice! What would your dad say?”

Tears automatically sprung to my eyes, he waited just looking at me.

“It wasn’t a rhetorical question, I wanted an answer, what would your father think?” he asked.

I shrugged, “I don’t know,” I managed to get out.

He sighed, “Ryley, I know your dad. He wouldn’t have been happy. You can tell me a million times that he let you go out with friends to party and whatever. Have you been drunk before?”

I nodded, wiping away the few tears that fell from my eyes.

“Ryley, you’re sixteen. What did your dad say?” he asked.

I sniffled, “One of them would pick me up, mom or dad. They always wanted me to call them; they knew I would drink at parties. They weren’t impressed but they said if they told me not to I might go out and do it without telling them.”

He paused, “Alec knew you drank?”

I nodded, quickly, “He used to tell me to be super responsible, not to get into a car with anyone, to call him, to drink only what I brought.”

“Why didn’t you call me then Ryley?” he asked, putting his elbow on the table and resting his head on his open palm.

I started to cry, “I was worried that you would be mad. I’ve only been here a month or so. But, Uncle Will, so much as been going on...I just needed to do something normal again. I’ve lost so much at sixteen, I needed some sort of sense of being sixteen,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t drink all the time, Uncle Will. Mom’s side of the family is Italian; I had my first taste of wine when I was like, five. They watered it down obviously, and gave me a quarter of a cup to try. I’ve been drinking socially with friends since freshman year. I’ve been drunk twice before. Mom and Dad would buy the drinks for me; because they would rather me drink my own stuff then something supplied to me at the party. And I’ll admit that’s a rule I broke on Saturday, someone else made my drinks.”

I realized I was rambling so I decided it would be better to be quiet for a minute to see if he wanted to say anything, which he did, “Alec knew?” he asked still surprised.

I nodded, wiping my eyes again, “It’s like I said, he told me that he’d rather know when I’m drinking, then have me hide it. I had a very honest relationship with them, Uncle Will.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrugged, “I didn’t know what you would say. I just...needed to do something. Like something to distract me. And a party with people that I consider my friends seemed like a pretty good way to go about it.”

“And what about what happened to your parents and brother? They were killed by a drunk driver, Ryley. What if everyone decided to drink, then what?” he asked, he stood up and started pacing the length of the table.

I covered my mouth to try and stop the sobbing, “I’m so sorry, Uncle Will. I really am,” I managed to get out.

He stopped and looked at me, then came over beside me and knelt down, “You signed the paper right?” I nodded, “Then that’s all I can really ask for. Just...I’m not telling you to never drink again, by no means. I mean...you saw and heard what happened to me this week, with the coming in late after drinking. And the message I left on Sue’s phone. But, just remember your parents and brother. Remember what drinking can lead to. Okay?”

I nodded and he pulled me into a tight hug, “I’m sorry, Uncle Will,” I sobbed again, holding onto him.

He rubbed my back, “It’s okay, Ryley.”

We stayed like that for a little longer, he gave me time to calm down when he heard my breathing go back to normal he let go, but held onto my shoulders.

“I love you, Ryley. You’re my family now, okay? My parents aren’t even in the state half the time. I would do anything to keep you safe, and honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. Besides having you and your brother around for a week, or when Terri’s sister Kendra would bring her nutbar kids over, I haven’t raised a kid. Let alone a sixteen year old girl. We’re learning together, okay?” he said, I saw him start to tear up.

I nodded and wiped away some tears that had continued to fall.

He smiled and stood back up, “What do you want for dinner?” he asked walking towards the kitchen, I’m sure to where he kept all the take out menus.

“No,” I said before I could stop myself.

He came back out into the dining room holding a few menus, “What’s up?”

“I want some paint,” I blurted out.

He smiled wide and put the menus on the table, “Okay, yeah. Let’s go to the store then.”

I smiled too and stood up to go to my room and get a purse, “Hey,” he called, stopping me. I turned to face him, “What made you change your mind?” he asked.

I continued smiling and shrugged, “It feels right. And it’s like I said about the party on Saturday and stuff...I need some sense of being sixteen. Plus, Aunt Terri didn’t decorate very well anyways, there’s still some Pottery Barn stuff in the closet. And, you know just as well as I do that mom, dad, and Blake wouldn’t want me mourning the rest of my life. I’m obviously always gonna miss them, but, my being upset all the time isn’t going to bring them back. Nothing will. My life just can’t stop. And, yeah, I’ll have my days, or moments when I’ll dwell and think ‘what if.’ But, that can’t be my life. Things are finally starting to look up, Uncle Will, and...It’s just time, I think.”

He nodded the whole time I was talking, he smiled when I was done, “You’re right, that’s exactly what they wouldn’t want. And I’m glad to finally see you smile like you used to.”

I looked down for a moment before looking back at him, “I’ll go get my bag.”

I turned and started walking back to my room when he called me again making me turn again to look at him, “I’m so proud of you.”

I smiled and walked towards my room again. I was kind of proud of myself too.