Haunted

Chapter 17

Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars - Unknown

My story doesn’t matter anymore. I have so many stories to tell, but they're not important.

I could tell you about the trip to New York, that I had wanted to badly to be amazing…but Finn and Rachel kissed while we were on stage during Nationals. We lost, and I found out that Uncle Will was considering moving to New York for Broadway.

I could tell you about how I left after exams were done. I went back to Cleveland and stayed with friends., I could tell you how Artie, Tina, Britt, and Mike talked…or I guess sang me back into coming home.

I could tell you about hard it was coming to Lima again and seeing them back together. Or about when Rory came over from Ireland, and how I basically fell in love with him right away. Or about coming back to the apartment and finding out that Emma had moved in. Not that I minded, I was just surprised. Granted so were they when they saw me again out of the blue.

I could tell you about the night that Finn and I slept together the first time when Blaine and Rachel had the opening night of ‘West Side Story,’ Finn cheated on Rachel and I cheated on Rory. How I knew it was a mistake but I really didn’t care because that was all I wanted.

I could tell you about Santana coming out and Sam coming home. I could tell you about how I joined the Trouble Tones because I couldn’t be around Finn and Rachel anymore. I could talk about Sectionals and how we lost, but we joined again with the New Directions.

I could talk about Uncle Will prospoing to Emma, and how amazing and romantic is was. I could tell you about how amazing Rory was…I could also talk about how Finn and I never really stopped being with each other. Physically at least. I loved him, I loved him. The feeling of euphoria I would get whenever Finn and I were together would never leave me the rest of my life.

I could tell about when Finn found out the truth about his dad…he went to Rachel then came to me. I met him by the lake and he cried and I felt terrible because I couldn’t help him.

I could talk about when Finn proposed to Rachel and how gutted I felt. I gave myself to Rory that night. I could tell you about Valentines Day and how we had to sing love songs, and how I sang ‘My Heart,’ by Paramore but I wasn’t sure who I was singing it to…

When the anniversary came for my parents and Blake…I felt like I couldn’t breathe. That day was a haze to me. I found myself calling Finn at 11:30 that night to cry and scream…how I never forgave myself for not being with them.

I could tell you about how my feeling were growing for Rory. And about how the first time he said he loved me hit me like a ton of bricks…how I was so happy that for the first time in months I finally felt okay with Finn.

I could tell you about when Rachel choked on her audition to NYDA…how I went to see her and comforted her. How that was the first time I felt any type of friendship with her.

I could tell you about us going to Chicago for Nationals, and how we won! I could you about the seniors graduating…about how I knew I would miss Finn but I had to let him go.

Or when Rory said he had to go back to Ireland as his time was over in America…how he asked me to go with him, for the summer to see where he was from and meet his family. I could tell you about how heartbroken Finn looked when I told him I was leaving…after he had broken up with Rachel so she could go to New York…how he wanted me. We were together that night. But I left to be with Rory.

I came back to Lima for the next year of schooling. Rory and I having broken up just before I left to come home. My beginning of my senior year is just a blur. Finn came and took over when Uncle Will left for a while. Again, Finn and I were together. Privately. Physically. I felt as though I wanted more…but I knew that it was no use. Rachel would always be there in his mind, and that’s where Finn was always going to be. I understand that now. I knew that Finn was always going to be destined to be with Rachel. After some time I was okay with it. Honest. I love him. Loved him. Will always love him.

The heart wants what it wants and I really believe that his heart wanted both me and Rachel, but Rachel would always have a bigger part of his a heart. But...she made him happy. And that's all I ever wanted for him.

No…none of my stories matter anymore. Except one…