The Art Of Loving
Chapter Two
It had been almost a month since Ville first discovered his beautiful boy. He was on his second sketchbook already and his drawings had gotten much more detailed. He even had a few paintings of the boy- Bam.
He’d learned the boy’s name quickly, as well as the names of all his friends. Dunn, Dico, and Raab; he’d drawn them a few times even. Always standing behind Bam, looking up to the boy that was clearly their superior.
He sat as close to them as he could get without being noticed during lunch and spent all of his English and Science classes watching the object of his obsession. He memorized his voice, his face, his figure, the way he walked and talked and held himself with a confidence that Ville admired. He memorized Bam’s schedule by following him to each class, careful to stay out of sight.
The Finn wasn’t ashamed of what he did, but he was realistic enough to know that Bam wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. But Ville was patient.
My Bammie’s worth the wait.
He dreamed about it, though. The day when he would finally show Bam they were meant for each other.
How did I live without him?
He would always thoughts such as that away. Imagining him getting his way back in Finland when he begged to stay, picturing his life without knowing about Bam… It was enough to give him an asthma attack.
So he focused on positive things. On daydreams of him and Bam together, holding each other, even a few of Bam making love to him. He’d found homosexuality rather disgusting back in his home country. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why a man would ever want to be fucked by another man. But now he knew. And he was dying to feel Bam inside of him.
Each day, Ville awoke and immediately looked forward to seeing Bam. English and science were his favorite classes, even if he was failing both of them. In fact, he was failing all of his classes, but little things like grades didn’t matter to him. He would walk to school since his large neighborhood was right next to it, and he would arrive just in time to see Bam skateboarding for a few minutes before the rest of his gang showed up. Then Ville would sit and watch them talk until the first bell rang, sometimes drawing and sometimes just observing.
Then he would go to his classes and draw, daydream, or watch the clock. He made a route to each of his classes that allowed him to see Bam in the hallway between each one. He memorized Bam’s locker number and even his combination from following and watching him. He would stare at him all through English and Science and luckily was never caught. When classes were finally over, he would wait at the school until Bam and his friends left and he couldn’t see him anymore.
On the one-month anniversary of his discovery of his beautiful boy, he was even more excited than usual. He brought a fresh sketchbook, hoping to draw a picture that captured more beauty and was more meaningful than any of the rest.
He arrived at school a little earlier than normal, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see Bam there yet. But when Dunn showed up, he began to worry. Next was Raab and then Dico, but still no Bam.
Ville was baffled by the fact that they could function as a group without their majestic leader. They seemed perfectly fine, which made him angry.
They don’t appreciate him like I could… They only take him for granted…
I should be with him, not them… Why would he choose them over me?
He had to remind himself that Bam wasn’t yet aware of his existence and that it was better that way. For now, at least. He knew that Bam just wasn’t ready.
He was nearly frantic when the first bell rang out and his Bammie still hadn’t shown. His anxiety grew as he waiting impatiently for his History class to end, and he went straight for Bam’s locker. He waited, watching, until the bell to go to his next class rang. His heart sunk; Bam had never shown up. He wasn’t just tardy like Ville had hoped. He really wasn’t there.
Ville made his way to the nurse’s office, faking illness so he could go home. He did in fact feel ill, but it wasn’t the sickness he pretended to have. It was deep disappointed that made his heart feel as though it would break.
When he got to his house, he collapsed onto his bed and cried himself to sleep.
He’d learned the boy’s name quickly, as well as the names of all his friends. Dunn, Dico, and Raab; he’d drawn them a few times even. Always standing behind Bam, looking up to the boy that was clearly their superior.
He sat as close to them as he could get without being noticed during lunch and spent all of his English and Science classes watching the object of his obsession. He memorized his voice, his face, his figure, the way he walked and talked and held himself with a confidence that Ville admired. He memorized Bam’s schedule by following him to each class, careful to stay out of sight.
The Finn wasn’t ashamed of what he did, but he was realistic enough to know that Bam wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. But Ville was patient.
My Bammie’s worth the wait.
He dreamed about it, though. The day when he would finally show Bam they were meant for each other.
How did I live without him?
He would always thoughts such as that away. Imagining him getting his way back in Finland when he begged to stay, picturing his life without knowing about Bam… It was enough to give him an asthma attack.
So he focused on positive things. On daydreams of him and Bam together, holding each other, even a few of Bam making love to him. He’d found homosexuality rather disgusting back in his home country. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why a man would ever want to be fucked by another man. But now he knew. And he was dying to feel Bam inside of him.
Each day, Ville awoke and immediately looked forward to seeing Bam. English and science were his favorite classes, even if he was failing both of them. In fact, he was failing all of his classes, but little things like grades didn’t matter to him. He would walk to school since his large neighborhood was right next to it, and he would arrive just in time to see Bam skateboarding for a few minutes before the rest of his gang showed up. Then Ville would sit and watch them talk until the first bell rang, sometimes drawing and sometimes just observing.
Then he would go to his classes and draw, daydream, or watch the clock. He made a route to each of his classes that allowed him to see Bam in the hallway between each one. He memorized Bam’s locker number and even his combination from following and watching him. He would stare at him all through English and Science and luckily was never caught. When classes were finally over, he would wait at the school until Bam and his friends left and he couldn’t see him anymore.
On the one-month anniversary of his discovery of his beautiful boy, he was even more excited than usual. He brought a fresh sketchbook, hoping to draw a picture that captured more beauty and was more meaningful than any of the rest.
He arrived at school a little earlier than normal, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see Bam there yet. But when Dunn showed up, he began to worry. Next was Raab and then Dico, but still no Bam.
Ville was baffled by the fact that they could function as a group without their majestic leader. They seemed perfectly fine, which made him angry.
They don’t appreciate him like I could… They only take him for granted…
I should be with him, not them… Why would he choose them over me?
He had to remind himself that Bam wasn’t yet aware of his existence and that it was better that way. For now, at least. He knew that Bam just wasn’t ready.
He was nearly frantic when the first bell rang out and his Bammie still hadn’t shown. His anxiety grew as he waiting impatiently for his History class to end, and he went straight for Bam’s locker. He waited, watching, until the bell to go to his next class rang. His heart sunk; Bam had never shown up. He wasn’t just tardy like Ville had hoped. He really wasn’t there.
Ville made his way to the nurse’s office, faking illness so he could go home. He did in fact feel ill, but it wasn’t the sickness he pretended to have. It was deep disappointed that made his heart feel as though it would break.
When he got to his house, he collapsed onto his bed and cried himself to sleep.