The Art Of Loving

Bam pulled open the front door to see Ville standing there, nervously gripping the shoulder strap on his side-bag. He greeted him and invited him in, leading the Finn upstairs to his bedroom. Ville stayed silent, never making eye contact or lessening his grip on the bag.

This can’t be happening…

He looked around the room when they reached it, studying everything closely.

“Haven’t you seen it before?”

Ville glanced at him and saw that his beautiful boy had been watching him.

“It different… on the inside…”

“Good to know you never broke into my room, then.”

Ville shook his head and hugged himself. Bam was struck with sympathy for the frightened foreigner.

“Do you… want to sit down?” Bam asked him, gesturing to the bed. It was the bed he’d watched his beautiful boy pleasure himself on so many times; the bed he’d longed to lie on.

But not like this…

He nodded and sat down, his head hung. He felt the bed sinking as Bam joined him. “What is that on your bag?”

“It’s a symbol I made… I call it a heartagram.”

“That’s cool…”

Awkward silence.

“Why did you draw those pictures?” Bam asked him, finally bringing up the reason of their meeting.

“I like to draw,” Ville answered simply.

“Why did you write those things, then?” The skater was not going to allow the subject to be dropped so easily.

“What things?”

Please… Please don’t be upset…

“Like… Beautiful… and Perfection… and Angel…”

The other boy said nothing.

“Ville?”

Ville responded so quietly that Bam didn’t hear him.

“What?”

“Because… they’re true,” the Finn repeated.

“How can you think I’m perfect when you don’t even know me?”

“I do know you, Brandon. You get to school early so you can try new tricks on your skateboard without your friends watching. You don’t like it when people see you fall. English is your favorite subject and you like to read. You like to listen to music and dance around in your underwear.” Ville smiled slightly and continued. “You like to laugh and joke around with your friends and you love your family, even if they make you angry. You cry whenever you fight with Jess. When you upset April, you immediately start trying to find ways to make it up to her. You’re sweet and sensitive and funny. Every Saturday after you shut down your computer, you lie on this bed and jack yourself off. Afterwards you lie back, soaking up your orgasm, appreciating every second of it. And when you moan… It’s the most beautiful sound in the world.”

Ville looked up, finally making eye contact. “The first time I saw you, I could see how perfect you were. I love you, Bammie.”

Bam was speechless. “O-okay.. so you do know some things about me.. but-”

But nothing…

Ville teared up at Bam’s objection. “You w-want a woman, don’t you?” He asked, sniffling. “I could change for you, Bam, I could-”

“No, Ville, that’s not it. I’m gay anyway.”

“You… you are?” Ville asked, upset with himself for not knowing something so important.

Bam nodded. “Ryan’s the only one who knows. That’s one of my friends-”

“I know who Dunn is,” Ville interrupted.

“Oh, right. Of course you do.”

“That… that’s what you were telling him that day, isn’t it? Last week? When you met him after school?” Ville asked. Bam blinked, surprisingly not overly shocked, and nodded in response. “That explains it… He treated you differently after that and I didn’t understand why… I wanted to hit him. I want to even more now.”

Ville was silent for a moment. “Bam?”

“Yeah?”

“I think he told Dico and Raab.”

“You do?” Ville just nodded. “Why?”

“I saw him talking to them… And they look sort of shocked. Raab more than Dico. And then you walked over and they acted normal again. I really think that might have been what they were talking about.”

Bam didn’t reply, he only stood and grabbed his phone off his nightstand. He flipped it open and dialed, leaving Ville sitting quietly on the bed.

“Brandon?” Pause. “Did Ryan tell you about me?” Pause. “You know what I’m fucking talking about, Dico.” Pause. “That motherfucking…” Bam just shook his head and hung up the phone. “I can’t believe he would-”

“I’m sorry, Bam.”

“It’s not your fault, Ville.” Bam looked at him and realized he was crying. He sat next to him and rubbed his back soothingly. Ville shuddered under his touch. “… Ville?”

The Finn looked up at him. “I wouldn’t hurt you like they would, Bammie… I could take care of you… No one else could ever love you as much as I could… Please… Please just give me a chance…”

“Ville… the things you feel… They aren’t love.”

“It is! It is love!” Ville insisted, crying harder now. “This wasn’t supposed to happen yet… you aren’t ready to understand yet…”

“Understand what?” Bam asked softly.

“That we’re meant for each other… Bam, if I can’t have you then I don’t have anything to live for… You’re everything…”

“That’s not true… these feelings will go away…” He couldn’t think of anything else he could say that would comfort the crying boy.

Ville shook his head, sniffling. “They’ll never go away. It’s true love, Bammie. True love doesn’t go away.”

“We’d never talked until today… How can it be true love already?”

Ville just shook his head. “I knew you wouldn’t understand yet. E-everything’s r-ruined.” Ville hugged himself and sobbed.

“Ville… If you were to go home now… would you kill yourself?” The crying boy nodded and Bam ran a hand through his curly brown hair. That’s what he’d been afraid of. “I… I’ll give you a chance.”

Ville looked at him, eyes wide. “…Really?”

Bam nodded slowly and Ville threw his arms around him. “Oh Bam-Bam…” he said, sobbing into the skater’s chest. “Thank you… I’ll be good to you, I promise… I’ll show you that it’s real…”

I’ll do whatever it takes to show you that it’s real.