Death Is a Promise and Your Life Is a ***ing Lie

“Just…one more…” Jack breathed out, holding the razor with a shaky hand. It was one of those nights. His dad came home with a drunken rampage, beat him, and his mother was completely oblivious, or at work for most of the time, to avoid all the fighting and screaming from Jack and his father.

He dragged the sharp blade against the pale skin of his wrist, feeling it dig into his skin. Sure, it hurt at first, but then it makes all the pain go away. Jack goes into a state of euphoria and closes his eyes, all his emotions pouring out.

‘Why did I even have such a fucked up child like you? You could be like your brother and sister, successful. But you chose to be GAY and date that little bit/ch Alexander.’ the words his father spat at him earlier tonight at dinner replay in his head, and he feels the silent tears leave trails down his cheeks. Of course mum hadn’t been there to see it, she tries to get as many hours at the hospital as she can.

“I’ll never be perfect for anybody.” He says shakily, barely making out his words with his constant sobbing. There were already freshly cut wounds on his wrist but he didn’t care. The burning felt good, and he didn’t plan on stopping.

But he had to stop when he heard his dad bang on his door and yell that he needs to open it or he’d break the door down and hurt him even more than he ever has. That sounds like a very childish antic but that’s how his father was and acted. He threw the razor into the cabinet under his sink, because it would be bad if his dad found it and used it on him. Jack quickly ran back into his room, but feeling slightly lightheaded because he has to admit, he lost a lot of blood and is still bleeding.

“Why sh-should I?” he questions, probably enraging his father even more than he already was. But after the words came out, he instantly feels the feeling of regret deep in the pit of his stomach, knowing that he’ll get beat even worse tonight.

The next thing he knows, his dad is barging in his room. “Don’t you ever lock me out of your room again, you know better than that you as/shole.” he takes his first swing at his nose, and he pretty much hit it right-on. At that moment, Jack curls in on himself, the tears coming down faster from the increase of pain. He’s pretty sure he’s staining his clothing and bed sheets with his blood from his nosebleed and the multiple bleeding cuts on his wrists. He can also taste a mixture of his salty tears and the disgusting copper tasting blood substance.

“Stop crying you stupid asss fag/got. Looks like I’m gonna have to kick the gay out of your dumb asss.” Jack’s father then repeatedly punched him in his stomach, knocking all the oxygen in him, causing him to gasp and grab at his stomach, gagging. His father’s sneer grin just grew bigger, knowing that his son was in pain.

“P-Please. St-Stop.” Was all he could choke out, before he fell onto his hardwood floor with a loud thump.

All you could hear throughout the room was the sinister laugh that was emitted from his father’s alcohol stained mouth. He could smell the stale whiskey on his breath, which made Jack gag even more than he already was. He’d already taken a blow in the stomach, in the nose, and his father attempted to kick him in the stomach, and basically everywhere else he could kick. He succeeded.

Jack whimpered and moaned even more, grabbing for his groin area and went into the fetal position, one hand grabbing his knees and the other on his area. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, you queer.” with those last words, his father left his room and slammed the door shut.

When Jack was sure that his father was gone, probably to drink more, he called Alex. It was semi-hard, considering that he was shaking like a madman, the aching pains everywhere in his body made it hard to move any limbs. But he got his little flip phone and scrolled down to Alex and pressed the little green call button.

This usually happens everyday, so Alex knows to pick up on the first ring. “Are you okay Jay?” the concern and worry in his voice is very clear, and I think he gets the idea that everything isn’t okay from Jack’s continual sobs and heaving. He can feel a sob stuck in the back in of his throat, so he just lets it slip through his mouth, which leads to more high-pitched crying. Little does Jack know that he’s shattering Alex’s heart into pieces by the minute. “I’ll be over as soon as I can babe, okay?” his voice is lighter and has toned down by far, and he can hear Alex’s front door closing and him shivering.

“I’ll see you when I get to your house, alright?” Alex says reassuringly. He nods, but Alex doesn’t have super powers and see through the phone line. That means a yes in Alex’s head, and he hangs up the phone. Alex didn’t live that far from Jack, and that he was glad for. He had to get to Jack’s house in a matter of minutes to make sure that Jack didn’t do anything to hurt himself.

All of the sudden, Jack heard a tiny rock being thrown at his window. He wishes that he wouldn’t be hurt and bruised so much that he could move and function properly, but that wasn’t going to happen. He made all the effort he could to get up off the floor, and he screamed a piercing scream. Alex, who was outside in his bushes, waiting for jack to let him up in, heard this scream and it terrified him, and he could fell the tears welling in the corners of his eyes. Alex didn’t like it when his boyfriend was hurt, or crying.

Jack slowly made his way over to his window, held onto the banister so he could stand up properly without falling. His hips and groin were aching like there was no tomorrow, and he wished that he could just die and sleep forever. But that would mean no Alex, so he preferred his shitty life over death, he needed and thrived for Alex. He was the only reason he hasn’t committed suicide yet. Alex is who he lives for.

Jack unlocks the window and pushes it open with all the strength he has, after he gets it up he falls down against the banister again, losing all his breath all over again.

“Y-You can come up b-babe.” Jack is scared so much that the tears haven’t stopped yet, and the pain is just so unbearable that he wants to cry out all his pain, which I don’t think is possible. But hey I’m just third person. Back to the story. Alex is pretty lucky that Jack’s room is in his back yard, and they have those side ladders that some houses have, so he climbs up that and then into Jack’s room.

In the meantime Jack went to his bed and sat down and stared at the pool of blood on the floor and the stain on his bed. At least the nosebleed stopped, he thought to himself. Alex made a jump into my room, and it kinda scared Jack at first, but it just made him laugh through his tears.

As soon as Alex dusted himself off, he looked up to Jack and immediately there was a horrified look on his face. “W-What did he do to you tonight?!” he rushes to Jack’s side and puts his hands on Jack’s shoulders, which makes him flinch ever so slightly.

“Well…I cut myself again…then he broke in…” he can’t even finish his sentence because all the pictures in his mind is making his emotions work up again. “Then he…punched my nose and made me have a nosebleed, punched me in the g-gut, then proceeded to make me not be able to have kids, not that I would though” he smiles a bit at that part, but then gets right back to the point. “As you can see I’m lathered in my own blood.” a bittersweet laugh comes out of his mouth, and then stares down at his ruined white v-neck.

Alex takes Jack in his arms and hugs him, but he made sure not to hurt him. He knew that there were bruises on his ribs from a few days ago, when his Jack’s father kicked him there. That night Jack was especially hysterical, he’d never felt that pain in his life.

“I-I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart, Jack, you hear me?” he puts his hands lightly on the both of his shoulders and stared him right in his eyes. There was already a bruise forming where he got hit on his nose, which will make his eye swell up most likely. Jack’s eyes were averted down at the floor, they weren’t their normal, almost happy chocolate color. They were a dark brown-almost black colored. All around his eyes was red and puffy, and his eyes were thoroughly bloodshot.

“I know…I love you so much Alex you have no idea.” Jack’s bottom lip quivered and his eyebrows furrowed in the middle of his forehead. That was a signal that there would be more tears, but Alex didn’t mind one bit, he would be there for Jack whenever and wherever.

Jack laid his head in the crook of Alex’s neck and sobbed, his warm, wet tears staining his light hoodie. It sincerely broke Alex’s heart to see Jack this vulnerable and open, but I guess that’s what happens. He wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck and buried his head as deep as he could, and slowly calmed down. Alex then kissed the top of Jack’s hair that was matted to his head, the blonde ‘skunk’ bangs plastered to his forehead. That’s one thing that Alex loved about Jack. His skunk hair, he thought it was the most adorable thing on Jack.

Alex can feel that Jack has stopped crying all together, but he was still taking shaky breaths, but he was steadily stopping. “Do you want to get a shower, I’ll help you..?” Alex asks Jack in a quiet voice, he’s sure that he doesn’t feel well at all and might have a headache, so he’ll try to be as quiet and gentle that he can be. Which he’s gotten good at after taking care of him so many times after this happens. Yeah, they’ve seen each other naked before so it wasn’t really a big deal for Jack to strip in front of him.

On shaky limbs, Jack slowly gets up but keeps his hand connected with Alex’s. He started to take off his shirt, revealing his skinny frame with so many purple and blue bruises, it made Alex choke on air and his eyes filled with tears. Next he took off his grey sweatpants and left his boxers on. His legs weren’t as bad as his chest and stomach area, but there were remnants of bruises still there.

Since Alex has no bruises, it’s easier for him to take off him clothing so he peels off his shirt and skinny jeans and everything he’s wearing until he’s left in his boxers, like Jack. Lucky for Jack that he has an ensuite bathroom so he didn’t have to face his father on the way to the bathroom. Alex let’s Jack sit on the closed toilet while he gets everything ready for their shower…bath…whatever you’d like to call it. He gets out two white and soft fluffy towels, he hopes that it’ll be nicer than a rough regular old towel, so it won’t make Jack uncomfortable. Next he turns on the shower, and asks Jack if he wants it really hot or warm. Alex can hardly hear Jack’s reply because he’s so quiet, but he makes out that he wants warm water.

“Okay you can get undressed if you want…or if you want help…” Alex trails off. They’d never done anything really sexual, just kisses and make-out sessions. Then they slowly progressed to hand jobs or blowwjobs here and there, but that’s it. Jack really has no protests that Alex was watching, or in the room, so he just slides his boxers off and sits there, like it was nothing.

Yeah, Alex can’t help but gape at Jack, because well, he was hung. Just to put it that bluntly. He also couldn’t stop staring at that prominent V shape of his hips. Jack clears his throat and chuckles and Alex, because it was pretty obvious what he was staring at. “Having fun?” Jack’s voice is an octave lower than is usually is, which means he was getting turned on, but in this moment, his horniness wasn’t wanted.

“Oh hush.” Alex snaps with a grin, and jumps out of his boxers. “Let’s do this thaang!” Alex shouts, but not loud enough for Jack’s Dad to hear. He gets in the tub, with Jack following behind him. Jack snakes his arms around Alex’s waist once they get in the tub and puts his head on Alex’s shoulder and kisses it. “T-thank you for coming tonight, I really needed you.” the water that was pouring down on both of their bodies went into his mouth to when he tried to says thanks it poured into his mouth so Jack spewed it back into the bottom of the tub.

~~

After they were done in the shower, they both got dressed in some sweat pants and a random tee-shirt that Jack chose. By now, the time was around 11 and Jack still felt like shit and wanted to go to bed. Alex noticed the blood stained sheets and went to get new ones from Jack’s huge closet. This was basically like his second home, so he knew where everything in this damn place is. He got the sheets, turned the light off and walked out of the closet.

“Skinny asss off the bed now.” He says in a smart-alecky way and Jack pouts up at him.

“What if I can’t move?” Jack shoots back and smirks, but then slowly moves off the bed with a pain filled face. “See what I mean. Dickkhead.” he mutters.

“Well it’s fine with me if you like to sleep on blood stained sheets. Totally your call.” Alex says stubbornly, like his usual self.

From the other side of the room where Jack was stand-sitting, muttering under his breath could be hear, but he just wants Alex to change the sheets so he can go to bed. Finally, he was done changing the sheets, to Jack it felt like forever because he had to stand on his weak legs, but in reality it was only about 2 minutes. He’s caught up in all of his thoughts, so he didn’t notice when Alex crawled in under the sheets and took the side near the wall. After all, his parents bought him the biggest bed out there, the Eastern King mattress so it wasn’t like he had to sleep over there.

He never really realized how lucky he was, that his mum had a very good job, his father had his own accounting business. Sure, he lived in the development where all the rich people lived, but he tried to grow up a normal kid. But his dad sadly faltered that plan when he decided to abuse his son. Because he was gay. He had one of the biggest rooms in the house because both his brother Joe and sister may had moved out, so there are two empty rooms. Jack was graced with one of the biggest because he was the youngest, but that decision was made when he mum actually cared.

When he snapped back into reality from his realization, he slowly made his way over to his bed, crawling under the sheets. The room was only lit by one small lamp by the bedside table, so once he was comfortable under the sheets Jack turned if off. It hurt like hell to move his wrists, but he had to move them. Alex was steadily breathing beside him, but Jack wasn’t sure if he was sleeping yet.

“Alex?” he whispered quietly, wondering if he was awake or not.

“Hmm.” yeah he was on the verge of ‘What are you saying tired?” to just downright sleeping.

“C-can you hold me?” even if Alex was his boyfriend, he still felt insecure around him, like Alex didn’t mean a word he said or did. He’d always been this way, and he wishes that he could get over it, but Jack now realizes it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Of course.” Alex mumbles, turning his body around so he was facing me with tired, sleepy looking brown eyes. He opens his arms and Jack scoots into them, burying his head into his chest. The smell of Alex and Axe greets him, and he inhales deeply, hoping that it could be burned into his nostrils. Jack can feel Alex’s arms wrap around his tiny, fragile, and bruised body. But he felt safe in his arms, like his dad couldn’t hurt or ruin this.

“Love you, Alex.” Jack mumbles quietly, moving into the fetal position and snuggles into his warm chest.

Alex kisses the top of Jack’s head, then his forehead and says back “Love you too babe.” and he slowly falls asleep listening to the constant beat of Alex’s heart.