Daddy's Little Sunshine

I watch my 3 month-old daughter sleep peacefully. It killed me to know that she would never meet her mother. How the hell am I going to raise her alone? Ali had always planned how she wanted to raise our kids, hell she made me the man I am today. When she told me that she was pregnant, I wasn’t ready for kids and I told and told her having a baby now would be our biggest mistake. The look on her face when I said that to her broke my heart, a week later we broke up and then she moved out. She didn’t want to be with someone that wasn’t mature enough to be a father and take responsibility for his actions. I was surprise she didn’t get pregnant sooner, since we hardly used protection and we were so love that I didn’t care. But that’s when reality came with a baby. I had to hit rock bottom to realize that Ali was the one for me, I did so much shit after we broke I didn’t care but one day I saw her at Matt and Val’s house. Seeing her after a couple months apart my love for her was stronger than ever, but seeing her 4 months pregnant with my child made me realize that I was the one that had made the mistake by letting her go. The guys never voice their opinions because I wouldn’t listen to them, I had this attitude about no one tying me down but that was Zacky Vengeance talking. Zack Baker was the one that wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ali and raise my unborn child with. That day at Matt’s I was to chicken shit to talk to her but she was the one that came up to me. She talked to me like we were still best friends in high school expect I could see the pain in her eyes. She told everything that was going on in the pregnancy, that her due date was December 10th a day before my birthday, that next month she wanted me to go with her to the doctor’s because we would find out the sex of the baby and I could see and hear it. I keep my word to her and clear that whole day for her, the guys were happy that I was coming to my senses and my mom was excited about a new grandchild and I just wanted her to forgive me for being a complete shithead. Seeing my baby girl on the ultrasound screen was the best feeling in the world. She was sucking her little thumb and that moment I knew that she needed the best father to guide and protect her. I couldn’t let her down like I let Ali down. I was going to make to it up to Ali, she deserved the best and I was going to give it to her. Each day that past, each month that came and went my relationship with Ali improved but never got to where I wanted to be. I set-up the nursery for my baby girl in time for when Ali went into labor, the plan was for Ali to come back to my place for the first 2 weeks after giving birth so that she wasn’t alone and I would be able to help her. When I took Ali to the hospital I never expected to go in with both Ali and my unborn daughter and later to come out with my newborn daughter. Ali never made it out, she passed away giving birth to our daughter. She had lost to much blood even after the doctors tried to do everything possible. My heart was shattered, I had gain a daughter both lost my soulmate.
Flashback…
“Mr. Baker?”
I turn around to see the nurse that had been watching my daughter.
“You need to name her before you can take her home.” She says softly
I sigh and nod. She hands me my daughter that I had yet to hold. The moment she was placed in my arms I started sobbing. She eye open her eyes and stared at me. I smile as I kissed her little forehead. “hi beautiful. You know daddy doesn’t know anything about babies but I’m gonna do my best. You’re my purpose in life now.” I take a deep breath and look at the nurse. “I have a name for her.”
She smiles and nods. “What is it?”
“Bella Destiny Marquez Baker.”
She smiles. “That’s a mouthful for a little person. But a beautiful name just like her.”
I smile.
“You’re going to be fine. You have amazing support from your family and friends. Remember, we’re here if you any questions. Please bring her around we loved to see her again.”
“I will.”
She nods. “Let me go finish her paperwork, so you two can go home.”

Later that night…
I sigh deeply and let myself fall on the my bed that I haven’t slept in since Bella was born meaning that Ali and me share this bed our final moments together. I shed tears as I stare up at the ceiling finally hitting me that I’m a single dad. How could this happen to me? Why was Ali taken away from our Bella? Did I do something to be punish me? Bella starts to get fussing in her nursery, she whimpers and finally she lets it out. I stand up to tend to her.
“Hey, mama.” I wipe my tears away. She quite down as I pick her up and I rock her from side to side. I hum Seize the Day to her. “Bella even though your mom isn’t here you need to know that she loved you with all her heart. You were the best thing to happen to her. And I’m going to tell you that every single day of you life.” She coos at me. It almost felt like she knew that Ali would guard her.

Two years later….

“Bella?” I call her
“I can’t believe you named her after my dog.” Matt chuckles
I grin. “I didn’t realize that when I was naming her. I’m sure Ali would have had a flip.”
“Dude, she is.” He laughs as both his dog Bella and his goddaughter Bella played with a ball. “You doing a hell of good job with her.”
I sigh. “I hope so. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing a shitty job.”
“Zack, she’s healthy, happy and she always has a bright smile on her face. And she’s got you wrapped around her little finger. Fuck, she got all of us in the palm of her little hand. Since Jimmy and Ali passing away she’s the best thing to happen to all of us. You have to remember that Jimmy and Ali are watching after us especially…” he looks over and stands up running towards…I look over and see my daughter covered in mud. I laugh out loud and walk over to her. As soon as she sees me she has this huge grin on her face that reminded me so of Ali. “What happen babes?” she points at Bella and giggles. I look over at Matt telling the dog no and do ever do that again. If I’m over protected of my Bells Matt’s ever worst. He loves Ali like if she were his little sister, losing her after we lost Jimmy was Matt’s breaking point. But it seems Bella was our little precious cure. My life without my baby girl wouldn’t the same. I always regret telling Ali what I said about her being pregnant was a big mistake, it wasn’t it the greatest gift anyone could of ever given me. She’s my little sunshine.
I pick her up and cradle her in my arms.
“Daddy.”
“What baby?” I kiss her cheek and she giggles as she cups my face her little hands.
“I wuv you, daddy.” She kisses me nose.
I smile wide. “And I love you very much, baby girl.”
“He you guys…” Val stares at Bella and looks at me. “What happen?”
I look at Matt still lecturing the poor dog.
Val groans. “Here let me give her a bath.”
“No it’s okay. I think you need to go save Bella.”
She nods and walks over to them.
“Hey baby, what happen?” my girlfriend of a year and also Matt’s real little sister. She looks at Bella and looks over my shoulder. She smiles and shakes her head. “Nevermind.”
Bella looks at Leah and reaches for her. “Mama.”
I smile and hand her over to Leah.
“What happen babes?” She turns around walking back inside the house.
Leah was there when no one else understood, she stuck by me when I need a shoulder to cry on even after several times of going off on her she stuck by. Over the time of Bella growing up and helping me with her I feel in love with her. The way she treated Bella like she was hers and Bella loves her so much. Leah always talk to Bella about Ali and shows she pictures. She’s been our savior and I love her very much for it.
“Hey you!”
I focus back on my girls. “Yeah?”
“You coming?” she grins.
I look her and Bella, and then I look her growing belly. I smile and nod. “Yeah, let’s go give this munckin a bath.” Bella squeals as she sees me walking towards her. Leah and me laugh.
My little family was growing, and I know Ali had a lot to do with sending Leah to help me and show me how to love again.

My life was only getting better from here.
And it all started with my little sunshine.