Starry Night

His hand felt warm in mine and the slightest smile appeared on his lips, something I haven’t seen in these few days from the accident. Emily was still ‘asleep’ but Connor was faithful about visiting everyday, right after the school’s final bell rang. I usually came to spend time with him, but I also wanted to be there when Emily woke up. I almost missed her always-cheery attitude and my heart ached, wanting to finally show her that she was right from the start. You love him; you just don’t know it yet.

The sliding glass doors stuttered and opened behind us, letting in two other men. One was more of a teenager, but he looked as if he could be 18 with a large build and a crease in his forehead. “Took you long enough,” Connor muttered almost angrily.

I looked quickly between the teenager and Connor. “Jack?”

“Wow, she’s smart just like you said,” Jack said with a smirk. I opened my mouth as if to say something when Connor cut me off, “Excuse us a minute.” Their father was still silent, staring at the unconscious Emily.

He leaned his arm on the wall outside, all of his muscles tight. A frown appeared and it was the same, almost permanent expression that he had been wearing these past couple days. “They’ve got real nerve.”

“Who, Jack and your dad—”

“Yeah, they prance into there and the first thing Jack does is crack a joke. And my dad, don’t even get me started on him. He’s just a selfish jerk who does nothing but work. Couldn’t even spare an hour from the office to visit his dying wife! Mom’s the one holding everything together and if something happens…”

“Connor, your mom will be fine. Even the doctors say she’s improving.”

“Improving is no where near good enough,” he clenched his jaw and the same crease as Jacks’ appeared in his forehead. I warily outstretched my hand to his tight shoulder, expecting for him to shake it off but he didn’t. I didn’t know what to say anymore. He was right, improving wasn’t good enough, but I couldn’t admit that to his face. Connor had been through enough not to hear that all of his pessimistic words were true.

“You don’t have to say anything, its okay,” he whispered.

“I don’t think I would know what to say.” Connor kissed my hand gently and pulled me into him. His breath was ragged and those green eyes were gray.

It just made me realize how much I missed the old Connor.

Jack appeared out of the sliding, glass door, “Nurse? Something is happening to my mom.” Connor was gone as soon as he finished talking, next to his mother’s bedside. Her heart monitor was going flat. Doctors rushed in with a crash cart, yelling at everyone to get out. Connor didn’t move. “Sir, you need to go, now!”

I ran to his side, “You are stopping the doctors from saving her! Get out Connor!” He looked at Emily, as if his gray and foggy eyes would bring her back to life. The nurse grabbed his arm, “Get out.”

It’s amazing how many thoughts can pass through your mind in an instant. I had one of those moments, watching Connor as he was torn into two, leaving the room. His eyes never left his mother, and he held me closer with each step. “Stacy, she’ll be alright, right? The doctors know what they’re doing, don’t they?” He slammed his fist against the wall outside the hectic room.

Voices yelled back and forth from the ICU. “No reading…come on, fight…clear! Still nothing…again…clear!”

Connor slumped to the floor, resting his head against the pale wall.

“Clear!”

* * * * *

Rain tapped on my window all night. A black blanket of clouds covered everything, including the moon, only to reflect the orange light from the street lamps. I turned from side to side and each time I closed my eyes, I would hope that sleep would come. It never did.

My blankets were tight around me, and I still shivered, although I don’t think it was because I was cold. The doctor’s voices rang in my ears and it was a constant reminder of Emily. Her bruises and cuts…only her face was still calm, as if nothing had happened.

I threw my hand against the mattress and I could hear the springs underneath me groan. My eyes closed, but I could hear my mother’s faint footsteps as they entered my room. “Come on, Stacy. Let’s go downstairs where we can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“We haven’t talked in a while, please?”

I didn’t like talking to her, to be honest. Every time we did, it was forced and boring, one of those conversations where it always ended in the same place, talking about dad, and I really didn’t need that right now. What I did need wasn’t something my mother couldn’t give to me. I needed the old Connor back, I needed my dad, I needed my old friends, and I needed Brandon.

His name was almost unfamiliar as I thought it. Brandon. I tried to find why it was so strange to me, and finally, I knew. My heart didn’t ache. It just made me want to become even closer to Connor. Hadn’t I loved Brandon at one point? I looked up as my mother left me room, and opened my nightstand drawer. His necklace, that shining necklace, wasn’t shining anymore.

Closing my eyes, I felt myself slowly slip anyway into a place where everything made sense. The fuzziness of the darkness faded and I saw myself sitting in Connor’s arms as we looked over deserted fields stretching out in front of us. He said something funny and I laughed while I tried finding his green-eyed gaze.

“I think I love you, Connor.”

“You think?”

I opened my mouth to rephrase it, but his lips had already met mine. Connor held me closer to his heart with those strong arms. When we pulled apart, someone tapped my shoulder, and I reluctantly turned to face the person. “Hi, Stacy.” Brandon looked at me, pain mangling his expression.

* * * *

A couple of weeks have passed since that scary day in the hospital and ever since then, I couldn't stop thinking about the night where my mom offered to talk with me and I turned my back on her. Finally, one morning as I slid my bare feet across the frigid wooden floor and into the kitchen, I was the one to start a conversation. “Hey mom.”

“Hi honey, how did you sleep?”

“Good...” I hesitated, “About the other night, I didn’t mean to take anything out on you. I just think that I was scared.”

She looked up at me, completely confused. “Why are you scared?”

“I’ve seen how much having Emily in the hospital has torn Connor, and I just don’t know what I would do if you were the one laying in that bed right now.”

My mom stood up and took me into her arms. The faint fragrance of her perfume reminded me of every time I would scrap my knee playing outside, when she would comfort me with a hug, that sweet aroma the only thing I would smell.

“I love you, Stacy, and I’m not going anywhere.” I didn’t say anything and only smiled, even when she walked out the door for work.

The house was quiet, only the faint ticking of the clock above the kitchen door echoed in my ears. School was half an hour away, but I didn’t want to go. Hour after hour of lectures wasn’t something a student usually looks forward to, and even seeing Connor wouldn’t be enough for me to go.

I was starting up the fireplace when someone knocked on the front door. My hand hesitated slightly above the knob, but I opened it anyway, sunlight rushing into my face. He was leaning up casually against the door frame. “Did you know that today is the first day of March?”

I smiled broadly and gazed straight into Connor’s eyes where they sparkled a dark emerald. Ever since Emily had gained full consciousness, he had been noticeably more cheerful. Doctors are still stunned as to how she survived near heart failure in such a dire state, but he doesn’t question it. Neither did I to be honest. I just loved having the old Connor back.
My breath was ragged and I could barely talk right, the words getting jumbled in my mind. “Hi, what are you doing here?”

Connor smiled brightly and let himself in. “Well I figured that since we haven’t spent a lot of time together because of the accident, we’d skip school today and make up for it.”

“I’ll go get dressed.”