Starry Night

The morning sun was gray with only a tint of fading pink in it. My room was dim and when I looked over next to me, waiting to see a pair of green eyes, my bed was empty. My hand rubbed the wrinkled sheets and his sweet smell was subtle. Still, I couldn't believe he left.

My eyes quickly scanned the room with an ounce of hope that he might still be here, and I found him slumped in the rocking chair across from me, fast asleep. I smiled to myself and pushed the covers away from me. Tip-toeing past Connor, who looked so peaceful in his sleep, I cracked open my door and heard my mother cooking downstairs. Then I heard the stairs creak, and I jumped out of my room, careful to close the door behind me. "Morning," I said dully.

My mother stopped and studied me, "Hi. Look, Stacy...I'm sorry about last night, but I have to be a parent. Your father was always the one to deal with situations like these, and I'm not very good at it."

"Mom...it's okay. Do you have to work today?"

"Yeah, the office called me in; I was just about to leave."

"Oh, I'm going back to bed. See you later." I opened my bedroom door again, and slipped inside before my mother could say anything further.

Connor was still asleep and I took a seat at the window. I hated whenever my mother mentioned dad. It always made me remember the things I almost wanted to forget. "It doesn't matter if you say 'I love you.' It's if you show it." This was one of his most used sayings, and I never understood it. But finally, I did. My mother grounded me because she cares and loves me. I know Connor loves me, but he's never said it.

I sat looking out my window and thinking for a while before I felt a hand graze my shoulder.

"Hi,” he said quietly.

“Good morning,” I replied, not ready to look away from the scene outside yet.

"You should forgive your mom, she's just trying to be a good parent," Connor said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Says the boy who's in my room at 11 o'clock."

He laughed. "I don't care." Connor's voice was light and my eyes jumped up to his. I burst out laughing even though it wasn't funny, and Connor slapped a hand over my mouth. "We're going to have to work on your volume, aren't we?" I nodded, pushed his hand away, and stood up.

Pulling me into him, Connor wrapped his arms around my waist and I whispered, "I thought you left."

Connor raised an eyebrow. "Me? Never."

* * * *

I watched Connor pull out of the driveway and after he was nothing but a speck in the distance, I went downstairs. It was sometime around four o’clock and I realized how long Connor had actually been here without my mother’s knowing. I laughed just as the front door opened and my mother stepped in, holding a bag of warm Chinese food.

“Hi honey,” she said with a smile, dropping her keys on the small table near the door.
“You got Chinese,” I said, smelling the teriyaki steak. She nodded, and then saw the two mugs in my hands, “Why do you have two drinks?”

I gulped as my mind raced to find an answer, “Oh, I couldn’t find my other mug in my room so I got a new one. Then of course, I found the other one.”

“Oh I see. Now there was a car in the driveway this morning, do you know who’s it is?” What was this, an interrogation?

“Must have been one of the neighbors or something who didn’t have room in their driveway.” I walked into the kitchen before she could ask anything more, and got plates for the food.

“Don’t worry about setting the table, Stacy, I was thinking we could eat it on the floor in front of the fireplace.” Hesitantly, I put the plates back and went into the living room to see if my mother was serious.

She was putting the food on the hardwood floor and had two pillows set across from each other. Taking a seat on one of them, my mother beckoned me over and I sat on the other one. We had never done this before, even when my father had asked if we could when I was smaller.

“Look, mom. I don’t want you to feel you have to make up for last night by doing this.”
She looked up, “I’m not, Stacy. I’m just trying to make things around here more interesting.” I raised my eyebrows, knowing full well this wasn’t the truth, but didn’t say anything more. My mother was a creature of habit; she would never change just to make things more “interesting.”

After this, the night was full of awkward moments and sometimes, even laughter. Finally, when it was about ten-thirty, my mother yawned and said she better get ready for bed. I nodded and went upstairs to my room too after turning all the lights off.

Even though I was in bed, I wasn’t completely ready to go to sleep. I had this urge to do something else other than close my eyes and dream about things that will never truly happen. I wanted something real because right now, being with Connor was better than the perfect dream world I always wanted to be in. I turned my light off and thought about all last night, the laughs, the teasing, and most of all, just before I fell asleep.

Slowly, my eyes started to become heavy with exhaustion and just before they fully closed, there was a tap on my window. Figuring it was just the wind, I let myself slip further into sleep, but it happened again. Opening my tired eyes, I stood up and opened my curtain.

There was a shadow standing on the small balcony and I almost screamed if I hadn’t seen those green eyes. I unlatched the window and swung it open, “Dammit Connor, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” he whispered, and once he was fully inside my room, he swept me into those arms. “I do hope you can forgive me.” All of a sudden I wasn’t tired anymore and I leaned over to turn on my nightstand light.

Connor smiled, “Hi Stacy.” I ran my fingers along his jaw as if he wasn’t really here, as if my wish to have something real hadn’t come true. “Hi,” I said quietly.

He leaned down close to my ear and whispered, “Can I kiss you already?” I laughed and nodded. Connor moved over to my mouth and touched his lips gently against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his picked me up easily. “Connor, I—.”

There was a door opening in the hallway and I pointed to the closet. Connor smiled, but hid anyway. I lay down in bed and turned the light off just seconds before my mother opened my bedroom door. “Stacy?”

I rolled over to face her and said, “Yeah?”

“Oh, I thought I heard other voices in here.”

I gulped for the second time today and said, “Nope, I must have been talking to myself just before I dozed off or something…”

She nodded and muttered, “Okay, get some sleep.”

“Good night, Mom.” The door closed and I waited until I heard the hallway go silent. I turned my light on and opened my closet. “Talking to yourself before you dozed off,” Connor asked with that smile of his. I rolled my eyes and kissed him, not wanting to pull away.

“What were you going to say,” he asked, curiosity strong in his voice. I love you, I thought. I couldn’t say that now, right after my mother almost caught us. “Nothing,” I said quietly, “It’s not important.” Connor’s eyes showed that he knew I was lying, but he never said anything. That’s another reason why I liked him; he never pressed on to know something. He knew I would tell him when I wanted to.

“Well, you should get some sleep,” Connor whispered.

“But you just got here!”

“Your mom,” he warned, but I shook my head. “What is life without risks, especially if you're risking it for something important to you?”

He smiled, knowing it was his exact words the night before, and leaned down, as if he was about to kiss me. “Stacy Bennett, you are just too hard to resist.”

I laughed and sat down on my bed, “I gave up on trying to resist you a long time ago.”