Starry Night

Clouds lined the dark skies and thunder rumbled in the distance. Birds were quiet, only rare chirps ripped through the icy air, echoing throughout the valleys. It was as if they knew a storm was coming, hiding from whatever surprises it might bring. Even the many geese that usually occupied the sky were nowhere to be found. Everything had disappeared.

I was home from school already, but my mother was out at work until late. With the house to myself, small sounds that were usually drowned out, were audible through the walls. Multiple blankets covered me from shoulders to toes, and I was cuddled up in my window seat again.

The glass was like ice to my touch and my breath formed clouds on the cold surface. Occasionally I would draw a smiley face or write my name before it began to fade, like invisible ink. I could see my reflection in the glass, and studied it for a while. I looked the same, but felt that something was different. And that something was much bigger than me.
Only soon enough, raindrops fell. I squinted up into the clouds, having no idea what I was looking for, and had a crazy thought. Dancing in the rain. I had only done this once or twice in Florida, but had an insane urge to do it here, in the freezing cold winter.

I threw the blankets onto the floor and sprinted downstairs, feeling the wind whoosh past me. I have gone insane, I thought as my hands yanked the laces tight. I could hear my heart in my ears, pounding like it did when I was excited.

My hands fumbled with the door’s handle, but when it was finally flung open, a freezing burst of air engulfed me. I ran and ran, letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted to go.
The smell of fresh pine floated around me as rain poured. I leaped over a snow mound, landing smack in the middle of a puddle. The water spilled into my boots, and I laughed loudly, for no reason at all. But nothing ever needs a reason. Just do it, I thought.
Thunder roared above me, but didn’t frighten me in the least. Lightening shot down from the clouds, but I wasn’t scared. And never would be. I was having too much fun.

* * * *

After a steaming, hot shower, I threw all my soaking wet clothes into the dryer. A smile was still perched on my face and I danced in the hallway to my room. Lightening was making outside glow as if it were the Forth of July. The lights inside blinked a few times, but never went out.

In my room, however, I turned off all the lights and lit several candles on every shelf and windowsill. I lazily fell into bed with a thump, and snuggled under the warmth of the comforters. I sighed.

The wind rattled my window noisily and the pounding rain from before turned into soft snow. It silently glided down the glass, and gave outside a white outlook, like something you would see in White Christmas. The darkness of nighttime had almost disappeared, but not quite.

The phone rang then, and I quickly picked it up. “Hello?”

His voice was rough, but soft at the same time. “Hi.”

“Who is this,” I asked, puzzled. No answer…

I called him back, and left a message. “Um, hi. I’m just returning a call…I guess. So, talk to you later.” It was more a question than a statement. “Good night?”

* * * *

The next morning, I woke up on my own and silently tiptoed past my mother’s room. Sunlight began to peek through every window, but the sky was still the dull color of dawn. It looked like a watercolor painting, as if each, elegant brush stroke formed the feathery cirrus clouds and each of the colors melted into another.

Once I had made it downstairs, I looked out the large living room window. The morning sun was just above the snow-covered mountain tops and it was shining an orange, pink color. I sighed with content.

I could hear light foot steps upstairs now, and I had no idea how much time was spent looking outside. All I knew now that my mother was up and would be downstairs any minute.

With slippery socks on my feet, I slid across the hardwood floor and into the kitchen. I caught my balance over the threshold and grabbed a granola bar from the box.

"I always tell you to have something to drink with that," my mother nagged.

"And your point is? You know I never listen."

Even without turning to face her, I would have guessed my mom would smile at this. She always does. "So how is school going?"

I groaned. Somehow, I had been able to dodge this question for the entire week, but when I'm least expecting it, it somehow finds a way to wedge into my morning. "Fine," I lied.

"Really, I haven't exactly made any friends yet, but I'm sure it'll get better."

She saw right through my lie, but never accused me...and never did. All my mom ever did was change the subject awkwardly. "I met some nice people at work."

"That's good," I wasn't even listening but somehow comprehended the words anyway.
"Yeah, it's nice. Their nice I mean. Some even have kids in the school."

My head popped up. "Really? Who?" I didn't even know why I was interested. It would just be more people I didn't know.

"Um, Audrey has a girl in 9th grade, I think? Oh! And Emily has a boy in your grade, Connor."
I choked. Oh my God. "Oh. Nice, maybe when things settle down, I'll talk to him." Fat chance, I thought.

"Yeah, she's very nice. I think we were talking about taking all of us— including her, Connor, you, and me—to a quaint restaurant downtown this weekend. To help get to know each other better."

I couldn't breathe. "Um, well that would be, just..." I thought for the right word, "interesting."

My mother laughed. "Great. Emily, Mrs. Wheeler to you, was going to call last night, but there wasn't a message. So I will call her tonight."

I simply nodded my head. “This weekend, you said? Today’s Friday.”

“I know. Sooner better than later, right?”

“Yup,” I croaked, faking a smile.

* * * *

As I walked into the lunchroom, the cliques seemed only too familiar: the jocks, the nerds, the wannabes, and, of course, the outcasts. My eyes scanned the crowd subconsciously for Connor. He sat lazily with his friends, clearly bored, his eyes less than thrilled.

As I walked around, wondering where to sit, a group of girls sat huddled together gossiping or sharing stories I've never heard or maybe ever know. They laughed and smiled, as if there wasn't a care in the world right then, that everything seemed to stop when they spent time together, and nothing bad ever happened.

“Hi. Um, would you guys mind if I sat with you,” I asked them.

A red-head nodded and moved over, opening a seat for me. “Here you go. Haven’t seen you in here lately,” she stated.

“Yeah,” I laughed nervously, “asking you for a seat doesn’t exactly look as easy as it seems.”
The girl smiled, “Oh, I believe you. I’m Stephanie, and these are my friends,” pointing to each one as she introduced them. “Kim and Taylor.”

“Hey, I’m Stacy.”

They all nodded and the one named Taylor said, “Oh. Everyone knows. Don’t ask how, but they do. You are, like, the top subject here.”

I groaned. All three laughed. “Well,” Kim began, “I heard from someone that Connor was the one who told everyone. Ever since you bumped into him on your first day…”
“Yeah. That was—,” I started.

“Every girl here was so jealous! No one, except for his friends, really even gets that close to him,” Stephanie continued.

"Wow. So every girl hates me now? And let me tell you something, it's not a good feeling! I just wanted to disappear..."

Taylor smirked, "I doubt that very much. I mean look at him, he's practically a god around here! Why wouldn't want to bump into him? I mean really...And oh my God! Connor's looking over here."

I didn’t turn. I closed my eyes, wishing that I could vanish into thin air, like I so often hoped.

"Well, look!" Taylor practically shrieked.

"No. I just...can't. What would I do, anyway?"

"I don't know! Wave?" Kim recommended.

"No, no, no," said Taylor, practically jumping up and down, "Smile."

"Hell no! I'm not doing either. Just...never mind him. I'm just trying to get away from all of this, not more into it."

All three sighed. "Fine, fine. But you just totally missed the best opportunity of your life right there," said Stephanie.

I took a bite of my sandwich, "You can remind me that later, but for now...let's talk about something else...please?"

When they weren't looking, I glanced over my shoulder. His dirty blonde hair gleamed in the light while his eyes were burning with color. I'm trying to get away, I thought.