Unus Amor

After those words left my mouth, I thought I would regret them, but I didn’t. It felt empowering.

“Well I am truly sorry Ashlee, I just wanted to be a normal teen for a few seconds. It is hard to be when you are always on the road.”

“Poor you John, I am sure it is so terrible to have to do what you love, get paid for it, and have a bunch of little girls stalk you. I am so sorry you have to deal with that.” I said with sarcasm dripping off of every word.

“You don’t get it.”

“No, I think I do. But I am hurt that you didn’t even have the decency to tell me your real name. What else did you lie about? Hmm. Do you really actually like Harry Potter? Do you actually like any of the things you said did? Do you actually have feelings for me? Because if lying about your identity is so easy for you, who knows what other pointless shit you’d lie about too.”

“I never lied to you about anything else. I really do have feelings for you. You are amazing Ashlee. When we were in the air vent, that was real.”

“Yeah, well too bad everything else was a lie.” I closed the door in his face.

I am not one for drama so after my little freakout I tried to flush the memory from my mind.

A day or two passed and I just mostly stayed in the room. I pretended I was sea sick, my parents seemed to believe it for a while. Unfortunately, the act didn’t last long.

“Ashlee, I know you are fine. Get out of bed and we will have fun by the pool. Maybe you will see some cute guy.”

If she only knew that ‘some cute guy’ was who I was trying my hardest to avoid. Ellen is very hard to disobey, so I threw on my Arcade Fire shirt and was out the door. Hopefully I would be able to avoid seeing anyone from that stupid band. Who did they think they were? I guess I understand to a point, but I thought John actually cared about me.

I hear my name faintly, but don’t turn around figuring it was just my imagination. I pump up the volume of my iPod and continue walking.

Someone tapped on my shoulder causing me to have to put my music on pause.

“What?” I said before even turning around.

“Ashlee, I really think you should talk to John, he’s pretty messed up.”

“Patr- Pat, you know I can’t right now. I am still mad that he didn’t trust me. Did he think I would tell others? Did he think I would become obsessed with him?”

“He has been really messed up for the past few days because he really does care about you. He was dumb, but he misses you.”

I scoffed, “Well at least we can agree on something,” I really like Pat, he is so energetic and dorky. He was the only one who was really friendly to me even after we ‘broke up.’

“Ash, you know he likes you. He just was trying to stay guarded because he has had to deal with a bunch of users. He should have known you weren’t one, but we all make mistakes.” He’s lucky he added the last part.

“Pat, I just don’t think I can do this right now.” With that I turned on my heels and walked on.

If John wanted to talk to me he should actually make the effort to. I couldn’t promise I would listen, but for him to have the balls to confront me would help his cause.