College Lessons

For a week, I didn't see or talk to Cassie. Hannah, Toni', and Rawry asked me about her for 2 days until they got the hint I didn't want to talk to her. Hannah seemed pissed at me and even went off on me. The only person who was happy was everyone's favorite girl. Loca.

"Hey Mikey Ikey," she says sitting by me in our art class. I sigh and look out the window. Loca seriously was getting a crush on me. And she didn't care how obvious it was and how I go out with her best friend. If we went out.

"Loca, chill. I'm not in the mood." She pouts by me and softy touches my arm.

"Is it about Cassie? Listen Mikey, shes nothing special. Cassie is a typical bitch. Take it from me, I'm her best friend." I didn't know girls could be so vicious. Listen to Loca making Cassie sound like nothing was cold. This was her best friend. Was she that desperate for me? Honestly, I knew there had to be something more to why she wanted me. This was too crazy.

"Don't touch me," I say and get up walking out of class.

Life was too stressful for me right now. You ever felt like some things in life weren't necessary? For me, it was always people. As Rawry always says, I can't trust people. And its because of me observing and experiencing it. My mom was my biggest issue when it came to trust.

Before I moved in when Granny, I had to see things a kid shouldn't have to. My mom started her drug addiction when I was 3. I remembered vividly the first time I saw her. This was when my dad was alive. I was told to call him Victor. I don't even think he was my real dad because he had some weird kind of hatred toward me. He wasn't abusive, but at 3, I remember how I got a the worst whooping for spilling his beer. My ma and him got into a huge argument that led to her being slap.

Now when I was 3 on the verge of 4, my ma wasn't doing drugs. She was just working a lot and sometimes even cheating on dad with various guys who were always telling me how nice of a girl my ma was or asking me if I liked football. Like I was 12 or something. One guy creeped me out too much. He was the one that got my mom into cocaine.

I was in my room playing with some Power Rangers my dad decided to buy me the other day. In my head, life revolved around them. As I was making the blue ranger fight the red one, I heard my mom closed the front door real loud. When my dad wasn't home, my mom would sit on the stoop, smoke her cigarettes, and wait for her boy toys. My dad worked 5 am to 10 pm, lucky her, at a factory. So when I heard her slam the door and a weird deep smooth voice talk, I didn't know what to do. I stayed by my door and listened to them talk to her.

"Naw naw baby. This some real good quality stuff. Gonna have you gone and feelin' real good."

"Well baby, I never tried this before. You sure its good for me?"

"It's all good." I heard my ma moan and little and twisted my face. A few minutes pass and I open my door which is right by our small living room in our 2 room apartment. I watch as the guy who looks like he has money and would be what my mom calls handsome rub her leg while she snorts some white baby powder looking stuff.

"Mom?" I walk out my room, still holding my Power Rangers.

"Mikey! Get in your damn room! Now!" She hisses. I jump and run and close my door.

"Now, ya didn't have to be mean to the kid. He was just curious," I heard the deep voice say. I sniffed and started crying as I heard my mom moan and footsteps leaving the room.

As I got older, I would always run into him on the streets and glare at him. His twitching and creepy smile would make me furious and I begged God to kill him in my mind. When I hustled as a kid, I found out he was a drug dealer who was smooth with the ladies. And as he got older, he became addicted to various drugs messing his head up.

By age 6, I heard all the most ridiculous lies from my ma.

" Baby, I'll be home by 5 pm, I'm going to the grocery store." Two days would pass.

"Sweetheart, I promise you your daddy and I relationship will get better." She was cheating on him with 3 different guys when he died. She even bought one of the guys to his funeral.

"Hunnie, I got a job." Why was she at home for 5 days straight?

My ma ruined my childhood for me. She actually messed up how I formed relationships with people.

And as I thought about it, I was using my anger toward my mom against Cassie.