Acts of Desperation
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It was easy to lose yourself here. The waves crashing against the shore was therapeutic, salty air and the easy breeze on your arms. As I stood there, with my bare feet digging into the sand as the tiny rocks tried to flee by invading my toes. I felt totally weightless as I held my arms outstretched to my sides, catching every cool gust of wind.
I could only feel a fraction of the bitterly cold wind as it shot past. The waves continued to crash against the delicate sand, tearing away all traces of man. It was as if no one had ever walked on the shore. All scars and imperfections had disintegrated under the erasing effects of the tide and, as it crept back to rejoin the rest of the water, it took the memories with it. They weren't her memories, they didn't belong to her. But they had been abandoned, so they were hers to take.
I had to leave, and I knew I did, but I couldn't. The ocean wasn't even to blame anymore. I'd had my fill of its icy waters. Something else now held my attention. Above me, on the high cliff, was a figure. Even from this far away, I could tell it was a man. He was tall and thin, standing much like I had, with his arms outstretched to his sides. I was curious, wondering why this man was standing there, hardly dressed for the weather.
I vacated the beach, walked right past my car, and climbed the mostly uphill walkway. As I got closer to him, I realized boy would have been a more accurate way to describe him, rather than man. He was tall and lanky, with long arms and thin wrists. His pale arms were mostly bare, aside from his short sleeves and a large collection of braided bracelets. Most of the bracelets adorned his left wrist, while his right wrist was noticeably bare in comparison. His cotton t-shirt looked thin and barely long enough to cover completely if his arms raised any higher. I wasn't sure how he was standing there now, acting as if the wind wasn't biting at him.
"Hey," I muttered, my voice a lot softer and weaker than I had intended. I cleared my throat as his arms fell to his sides and he began to turn in my direction. "Are you alright?"
I wasn't sure why I had spoken to him. I should have just gotten into my car and left, but I felt like I had to talk to him. Not even his piercing blue eyes staring at me almost anxiously scared me away. He gave no indication of giving an answer; instead he just continued staring at me. His stare turned to expectant.
It's getting cold and... and dark. Surely you have to be home." He looked down at his feet awkwardly, examining his shabby Converse, and shook his head. It was such a small gesture that I almost didn't notice. "No? You don't have to be home?" His head shook again and he looked up, his eyes seemingly a lot sadder than they had been before. "There has to be some place. I could give you a ride." His eyes turned to panic, and I backtracked, "I know. You don't know me. But do you have any money?" He hesitated, then shook his head again. "Then a hotel is out of the equation. You could stay with me..." The panic didn't leave his eyes as he shook his head yet again. "I'm just... offering you dinner with me and my girlfriend, a place to stay, and maybe some help in the morning. It'd be better than hoping you get a meal and a place to stay, right?"
He still didn't look sold, and I couldn't blame him for that. After all, he didn't know me. For all he knew, I was just trying to kill him.
"My name is Casey," I said, taking a step closer. "And I get why you don't trust me. you don't know me at all. I wouldn't trust me, either. But, even with the threat of me killing you, it's better than staying out here." This he seemed to consider pretty seriously. Eventually, nodded, a smile only half evident on his face. "So you'll stay with me?" His head dipping an another slight nod, before his eyes traveled back to the ground. "Great."
We stood there in silence for a while, with his eyes down and mine on the setting sun. Finally, I closed my eyes and cleared my throat. When my eyes opened again, his were staring right back at me. They were curious and expectant, but something else as well. I couldn't decipher what it was, but I still almost lost myself in them. They were more expressive than they had been before. I couldn't help but think about how eyes were the gateway to your soul, and how that had been said with eyes like his in mind.
"What's your name?" I finally asked after I had escaped from those deep eyes.
He looked as if he was considering this for a long time. Then a small smile graced his lips and I heard his voice for the first time.
"Tristan."
I could only feel a fraction of the bitterly cold wind as it shot past. The waves continued to crash against the delicate sand, tearing away all traces of man. It was as if no one had ever walked on the shore. All scars and imperfections had disintegrated under the erasing effects of the tide and, as it crept back to rejoin the rest of the water, it took the memories with it. They weren't her memories, they didn't belong to her. But they had been abandoned, so they were hers to take.
I had to leave, and I knew I did, but I couldn't. The ocean wasn't even to blame anymore. I'd had my fill of its icy waters. Something else now held my attention. Above me, on the high cliff, was a figure. Even from this far away, I could tell it was a man. He was tall and thin, standing much like I had, with his arms outstretched to his sides. I was curious, wondering why this man was standing there, hardly dressed for the weather.
I vacated the beach, walked right past my car, and climbed the mostly uphill walkway. As I got closer to him, I realized boy would have been a more accurate way to describe him, rather than man. He was tall and lanky, with long arms and thin wrists. His pale arms were mostly bare, aside from his short sleeves and a large collection of braided bracelets. Most of the bracelets adorned his left wrist, while his right wrist was noticeably bare in comparison. His cotton t-shirt looked thin and barely long enough to cover completely if his arms raised any higher. I wasn't sure how he was standing there now, acting as if the wind wasn't biting at him.
"Hey," I muttered, my voice a lot softer and weaker than I had intended. I cleared my throat as his arms fell to his sides and he began to turn in my direction. "Are you alright?"
I wasn't sure why I had spoken to him. I should have just gotten into my car and left, but I felt like I had to talk to him. Not even his piercing blue eyes staring at me almost anxiously scared me away. He gave no indication of giving an answer; instead he just continued staring at me. His stare turned to expectant.
It's getting cold and... and dark. Surely you have to be home." He looked down at his feet awkwardly, examining his shabby Converse, and shook his head. It was such a small gesture that I almost didn't notice. "No? You don't have to be home?" His head shook again and he looked up, his eyes seemingly a lot sadder than they had been before. "There has to be some place. I could give you a ride." His eyes turned to panic, and I backtracked, "I know. You don't know me. But do you have any money?" He hesitated, then shook his head again. "Then a hotel is out of the equation. You could stay with me..." The panic didn't leave his eyes as he shook his head yet again. "I'm just... offering you dinner with me and my girlfriend, a place to stay, and maybe some help in the morning. It'd be better than hoping you get a meal and a place to stay, right?"
He still didn't look sold, and I couldn't blame him for that. After all, he didn't know me. For all he knew, I was just trying to kill him.
"My name is Casey," I said, taking a step closer. "And I get why you don't trust me. you don't know me at all. I wouldn't trust me, either. But, even with the threat of me killing you, it's better than staying out here." This he seemed to consider pretty seriously. Eventually, nodded, a smile only half evident on his face. "So you'll stay with me?" His head dipping an another slight nod, before his eyes traveled back to the ground. "Great."
We stood there in silence for a while, with his eyes down and mine on the setting sun. Finally, I closed my eyes and cleared my throat. When my eyes opened again, his were staring right back at me. They were curious and expectant, but something else as well. I couldn't decipher what it was, but I still almost lost myself in them. They were more expressive than they had been before. I couldn't help but think about how eyes were the gateway to your soul, and how that had been said with eyes like his in mind.
"What's your name?" I finally asked after I had escaped from those deep eyes.
He looked as if he was considering this for a long time. Then a small smile graced his lips and I heard his voice for the first time.
"Tristan."