Before You Say I Do

I stand on the balcony of the apartment, looking over the town. My cell phone was in my hand, waiting for me to press that small green button. It took me about fifteen minutes to convince myself that I needed to do this not only for myself, but for him. And so, in some of the dumbest moments of my life, I call him.

Adam answers on the first ring like I knew he would. Well, actually that's a lie. I knew he would answer instantly if he didn't delete me from his phone, which he obviously didn't.

“Juliana?” he asks, sounding more confused than ever. I was speechless for a moment, not knowing what to say. “did you have a reason to call or what?”

the slight harshness in his voice snapped me out of whatever trance I was in, “um, yeah. I just wanted to congratulate you on the wedding. I'm glad that you and Stephanie worked things out.”

There was a small awkward pause between us. Remind me again why I did this? “oh.” Adam says, sounding disappointed, “thanks.”

“yeah, so...that was all. I guess I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing.”

I start to hang up but he stops me, “wait, Julie?”

“mhmm?”

“you're in Italy, correct?”

“um...yes, I am. Weddings, it seems, can happen anywhere and they still want my cakes.”

he chuckles but there's no feeling behind it. “can we meet up for coffee later or something?”

that was the last thing I expected him to say or ask. The guy who left me brokenhearted and was now getting married wanted to meet up with me? “I guess.”

“so, Tonsca? Say, four o'clock?” Tonsca was one of the many places Adam made sure I went to before I left Italy. They had, according to him, the best hot chocolate in the city. And he was right, it was delicious.

“yeah. That works.”

“great! See you then.” and before I could say anything in reply he hung up.

“see you then.” I whisper and shut my phone. Now I had about four hours to find the perfect outfit for this messed up situation. The only person I knew who could help me with this was, or should be, on a romantic day in Italy with her husband. So I was on my own for this and became worried sick

~~

After some contemplating on if I should wear pants or a dress, I decided on the pants. And then it took me about another hour or so to finally come to the decision of a dark blue shirt to go with it. By the time I was complete, it was 3:45. I was cutting it close, but I must admit that I wasn't too worried about being on time for this one.

When I walk into the small cafe I didn't spot Adam anywhere in sight. I take a seat in the back corner at a little table by the window. It's where Adam and I always sat when we came here and for some reason I just automatically walked to it. The waitress asked me what I wanted and I chose the hot chocolate like usual.

That's when Adam walked in. If I didn't know better I would say his whole body lightened up when he saw me. But that's just crazy. This is the guy that's getting married, and it's not to me.

The waitress walks away with my order written down and Adam walks up to the table, taking a seat across from me.

Neither of us said anything for a couple of minutes and the woman comes back with my drink. That's when Adam spoke, though it wasn't to me, it was to the waitress, “I'll have the same.” he says and she nods, walking back to the kitchen.

I take a sip of the hot cocoa and set it back down, “so...” I say, tapping my finger unconsciously against the table.

“so...” Adam repeats.

“why exactly did you want to meet up?”

Adam shrugs, “I don't know, it just seemed like a good idea.” he says, “why did you call?”

“because it's polite to congratulate someone on an engagement.” I say truthfully, “which reminds me,” I slip the ring off my finger, “this is yours.” I tell him, setting it on the table between us.

He stares at the ring for a moment and then looks back up at me, “why are you giving it back?”

I look at him confused, “you're getting married Adam and honestly I don't know why I kept that ring this whole time.”

“maybe because it belongs to you.”

“no it doesn't.”

“if you haven't noticed by now, it has something engraved on the inside, specifically for you.”

“and that was...well, not really when we were together but I'm sure you thought of the whole thing when we were together so it's not relevant now. Not when you're getting married.”

“I'm not taking the ring back.”

“Adam, please, just take back your mother's engagement ring.”

“how did you know that?”

“you've got a sister Adam, how do you think I knew that?”

he sighs, “the ring is yours and you're keeping it.”

“why are you so adamant about it.”

I pick up my cup to take another sip as he answers, “because maybe I want our daughter to have something that has been passed down through the family. Ever thought of that?” his voice was harsh through all of this, making me freeze right before taking my sip.

I blink a few times and set the cup down. “okay, so I'll keep the ring. But I thought it was just your mom's?”

“it goes back four generations, only changing in size. I was the first to make any real change to the ring though that was approved by my mom and grandma before doing so.”

I look down at the ring, thinking about how much it has survived. That sounds stupid, huh? A ring surviving stuff, but really. This ring lasted through wars, deaths, births, sickness...everything.

“Adam, this isn't a ring you just hand out to people. It's the ring for 'the one' type of thing.”

“and who says you're not the one?” I forced myself to not look up at him at that moment. I couldn't dare look into those eyes and let him stare into mine. He was getting married and I was with Jon. Plus, I hate him. Right? “I really thought we were going to get married Juliana.” for some reason that sentence hurt, a lot, “I love you and nothing can change that, not fully.”

I slip the ring back onto the finger it was on before. “please don't say things like that.”

“so you want us to go back to having a relationship based on lies?”

I take a deep breath, holding in my tears. “Adam, must I remind you once again in this conversation that you are the one getting married. Not me. I'm trying really hard here to be civil about this but you're not making it easy on me. What you did, it really hurt me and I can't just put that in the past like you have.”

I was looking down at my drink, not daring to see him watching me. “do you think what you did didn't hurt me?”

“that's not what I meant.” I say, “we both did things that we regret, but it's over now. You're marrying Stephanie and I'm trying things out with Jon. Obviously you've gotten over everything much quicker than I did.”

I feel Adam's fingers brush under my chin and lift my head so that I have to look at him. His dark chocolate eyes meet mine and I see the hurt in his, just like I'm sure is showing in mine. “I haven't moved past anything.” he tells me. I turn away and look out the window.

“I need to get back to work.” I tell him, grabbing my back and scooting out of my chair. Adam grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

“please Julie,” I look down at him, “can I at least help you with the cake design?”

I smile a little, “well then, it wouldn't be made by the one and only Juliana Richards, now would it?”

he smiles too. “come on, you know you want a guys' point of view on things.” god, why did he have to know me so well? I pull my wrist out of his grip and sit back down in my seat.

“this is strictly business, one more word about us and I'm out of here.”

his smile widens victoriously. “fine.” I pull out my sketch pad and we spend the next two hours or so drinking hot cocoa, sketching out wedding cakes, and laughing.