Before You Say I Do

The rest of the week was crazy. Media from all over were outside the apartments asking me questions about Adam. I actually had to hire a body guard just so that I could get to work. Though I tried many times, Adam wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls. He still saw Katie, but only through Katelyn and Finn. But mostly Katelyn because Finn was ignoring him as much as he could. I knew it was hard for him to keep information from his best friend, but if he was able to keep my secret he can keep this one too.

So, I went to my last resort. Hoping, begging, that it would work.

On July eleventh, back when I was here the first time, Adam took me to this spot under a big oak tree. It was 'his spot', the place he'd go whenever he needed to think about stuff. Since I found him at the club on the second, I assumed he'd go back here on the eleventh. That was my hope at least. There were no media here, no one to find us or bug us. Just me and him...and my body guard, Lucas. But Lucas promised to stay in the car which was a ways away from the spot under the tree.

When I parked the car on the side of the dirt road, I noticed Adams car already there.

“I'll be back.” I tell Lucas and he nods, engaged in the book he was reading. I step through the field of grass, walking over to the tree. Adam was sitting on the opposite side and didn't see me coming, luckily.

I take a seat next to him and he looks over at me, angry.

“what? I can't even have my spot to myself?”

I ignore his rudeness, “remember the day you brought me here? It was a beautiful sunny day and so I decided to wear my favorite blue and white summer dress with some sandals.” Adam smiles a little, “and then that big rain storm came in and soaked us both. I slipped in the mud, getting it all over me. All you cared about was how muddy your seats would be.”

“hey, those are expensive seats.”

I laugh a little, “I thought you were a real jerk at that point. I mean, you'd been nice, let me stay at your place and all, but you were still stuck up.” I tell him. “you know what changed that though?”

“the fact that it wasn't true?”

“oh no, it's definitely true.” I say, “It was when I saw you with your sister. I don't know why, but that changed they way I felt about you.”

we were quiet for awhile after that. Hours maybe, I'm not quite sure. But it was a good kind of silence, nothing awkward about it.

“what made you come today?” Adam finally asks, not looking at me.

“you weren't answering any of my calls.” I answer truthfully.

“and you wanted to tell me that you thought I was a jerk?” his voice sounded harsh but I still knew he was joking.

“I need you to listen to me about something.”

he looks over at me, “what?”

I take a deep breath, “when we first met, you told me the story about the apartment. How it was your moms and your parents met in the courtyard. The whole story.”

“yeah, I remember.”

“well, something has been bothering me about that.”

“about the apartment?” I looked down at the grass, not able to look him in the eyes.

“Stephanie stopped by the other day to yell at me. She kept referring to it as 'my fiances' apartment. I don't know why, but I corrected her. Telling her the short version of the story.” Adam stayed silent for a moment. I knew he didn't like people knowing about his past, but this was his soon-to-be wife we're talking about here, not some stranger.

“where's this going Julie?”

“I realized that you really don't love her.” I say straight out.

“I love her enough.” he says.

I look up at him then, “No Adam, you have absolutely no attraction to the woman you're about to marry.”

“and how would you know?” he asks, sounding offended.

“because, you told me that story within the first 72 hours of knowing me.”

“that doesn't mean anything.”

“why are you keeping her at such a distance? You don't tell her about me, you don't tell her you have a daughter, you don't give her the family ring or even inform her that the apartment really isn't yours. And what are you getting out of this relationship? Really, what is it? Because Tristan obviously isn't yours, I'm sure she cheats on you constantly and not one part of this wedding sounds like anything you'd actually want. So please, enlighten me, what is going on here?”

he chuckles, “Julie, I've told you this before and I'll tell you again. You look too much into things.”

“tell me Adam, does she know this place exists?”

Adam quickly looks away from me, “no.” he says.

“if you can't share your favorite spot with someone, you don't love them.” I stand up and walk back over to the car.

“so, how did it go?” Lucas asks, setting down his book.

I shrug, “the relationship was already ruined and this didn't change anything.” We drove the rest of the way back in silence.

Once I got into my room I shut my door and pulled out a notebook. Adam was going to know the truth of what was going on and I was going to tell him. Why me? Because, as previously mentioned, our relationship can't get any worse.


Dear Adam,

If you're reading this, that means I'm on a flight back to Maine. Hopefully though, you got this letter before the ceremony. I need to tell you some things that you're not going to like. You may not believe me, and that's fine. You may even hate me, and that's fine too. I figured our relationship was screwed up enough that telling you this wouldn't make a difference.

So, I'll start with the one that affects me the most. I'm not going to go into detail, I'm not going to explain anything. I'm just going to tell you. I'm Rainy Day Girl. Hate me yet? Yeah, well, just wait, we're only getting started.

The next thing on the list of secrets has to do with me through Katie. And no, I'm not taking away your visitation rights. Actually, it has to do with Tristan. Now, what I'm about to tell you is big news and I'm only telling you because I know it's why you decided to do some things. Stephanie lied to you. Tristan isn't yours, it's some guy named Ben Davis. Now please, don't hunt him down and beat him up. I do, though, give you permission to hunt him down and tell him he has a son. Stephanie told you Tristan was yours because you have money, and I guess Ben doesn't.

And finally, the last secret, which really isn't a secret. I've told you this before and you just brushed it off. This time though, I have proof. So, if you don't mind looking at the picture that's also put into the envelope...yeah, see? She was cheating on you. And that's probably one of many guys just so you know. I actually feel bad telling you about this because it's none of my business. The other two at least had some connection to me but this? I could care less.

Actually, I lied. That wasn't the final secret. The final one you're going to have to go see for yourself. Go down to the reception area and look at the cake. I promise you it'll be worth it.

On that note, I'm going to let you go. I'm sure I'll have to talk to you again at some point, but until then, goodbye.

Love Always,

Juliana


I fold up the letter and slip it into an envelope along with a print out of the picture Finn took. We had decided, together, that it would be best if he didn't keep that on any electronics, so we printed a few copies and deleted the picture.

Some things just weren't supposed to be said face to face.