A Million tries

today,
Monday,
about an hour ago,
my brother was hit by a car,
at 2:50.
he tried to drive on the free way,
he told me he could.
i wondered if he was going to get hit,
but pushed that thought away,
thinking everything was going to be OK,
boy was i wrong.

someone called at 4:15,
telling us he was hit by an SUV
he was going to the exit
but someone was drunk
driving at 95
he hit him in the back
destroying the small BMW
the car hit the wall,
knocking the poor boy out
my mom wasn't able to drive
crying her eyes out
my dad was in shock
ant to busy taking care of mom to drive
i had to do it
driving on the free way
my hands griped the wheel
so hard my knuckles turned white
i was angry if anything
no pissed
at life
at go-
no not him
not yet
not right now
my anger went to the driver
getting drunk in the car

i got to the hospital at 5:01
i had to tell them our name and the reasons to be here
my parents were being weak
not wonting to talk
i don't blame them
but they're the ones that have to be strong
not like i care
now we were in the waiting area
outside the ER room
how did i get here...
my mind is going blank
people were moving to fast
or i was on pause
and everyone else was on fast forward
i just grabbed my ipod
put the ear buds in
and let my self go
getting lose in the music
letting time pass by

until around 7:35
the doctor came
there was no blood
but his eyes darted
not making eye contact
his brow was furrowed
thing of a way to break the news to us
there should be blood
all over him
it should be on his cloak
smeared on his hands
but there was none
that just made me scared
for some reason he looked to me
and then gestured to me
then said
"go to the room"
i just got up
my parents did nothing
he must of waited for them to be stable
i walked in
and saw him on the bed
and i looked at him
just stared
he was asleep
but there was IV
and the heart monitor
he was in a coma
but i asked the doc anyway
he just nodded then left
giving me a few seconds here
so all i said to the boy
"just don't die"
then left
i passed dad
the corridors
out the door
into the rain
letting them hit my face
tears ran down
mixing with the watter
at this point i don't care
but what will happen at school how many will pity me
how many well look at me
with a guilty expression
i don't care
i want this to be over
the tears anyway
cause if they continue any more
i might just cry at school
and that is so not cool