You Don't Know What You Do to Me

I woke up the next morning and decided to just act normally. Acting normally meant going for my morning run so I rolled out of bed and put some athletic shorts on. I got completely ready and walked outside. Jared was standing where Kennedy was usually waiting, though.

“Hey, Jared. What are you doing up so early?” I asked.

“I’m going running with you.” He replied.

“But you hate running.”

“True but I think we have a few things to talk about.” Jared said and I gulped nervously.

We started running and Jared wasted no time in beginning his interrogation.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to go around kissing John when you’re in love with him?” Jared asked.

“We’ve only kissed a couple times. It’s usually when one of us is upset. We don’t mean for it to happen, it just does. The first time we kissed was after he and his dad had a really bad fight, the next time was when he broke up with Tessa, and the last time was when he came to pick me up from college right after Ryan cheated on me. Those were the only times, I promise.”

Jared just sighed and stayed silent for a couple seconds until he said, “Parks you really need to tell John how you feel. You can’t just go on like this forever. Something is eventually going to happen and if you don’t tell John your feelings it’s going to be something bad.”

I just kept quiet mulling over Jared’s words. I knew he was right. I was just too scared to say something.
_______________________________________________________________


“Dude your life is more fucked up than I imagined.” Nick said as he sat down beside me. I was sitting on the pavement outside the van smoking, trying to calm my nerves after the event that had taken place last night.

“What do you mean, Santino?”

“You kissed your best friend who you’re in love with but are too stupid to realize it.” Nick said.

“Nick! For the last time I’m not in love with her.” I grumbled.

Nick sighed and said, “John, you’re one of my best friends so I’m going to be brutally honest with you. Guys don’t hook up with our female best friends unless they are whores or we’re in love with them. We know that hooking up with them could ruin the friendship and we don’t want that unless we hook up with them for one of the two reasons I just mentioned. If they’re a whore then they hook up with everyone else and we might as well get a turn even if they are our best friend. Now, guys also hook up with their female best friends if they’re in love with them but don’t want to admit it. We both know that Parker-Blaine is no whore so that only leaves the other option.”

“What if I just kissed her because I was bored and wanted someone to hook up with?” I questioned.

“You wouldn’t do that because you’d never want to hurt Parks.” Nick said and then got up and left.

I glared down at my cigarette. I needed something stronger than nicotine.
______________________________________________________________


I still hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to John so I had no clue how weird things were between us. I was currently sitting at merch though because I had a job to do.

“Well last night was interesting, wasn’t it?” I heard a voice say as someone sat down next to me.

“Nick, please don’t lecture me. Jared already did and I really don’t need to hear it from someone else.”

The ginger boy smiled and said, “I wasn’t going to lecture you. I was just going to give you some advice.”

“I bet your advice sucks, Santino. Now go find someone else to hang out with because it’s girl time.” Katy said as she walked up to the merch table.

Nick rolled his eyes but stood up and before walking away said to Katy, “Would you convince her to tell John how she feels? She won’t listen to me.”

“Shove it, Santino.” I grumbled as Nick gave me one last smirk before walking away.

Katy sat down in the seat that Nick had just vacated and turned to look at me, “You have about five seconds to tell me this whole kissing-your-best-friend-who-you’re-in-love-with-but-won’t-tell-him before I force it out of you.”

I sighed and told Katy the story that I had just told Jared earlier this morning.

After I finished my story Katy just looked at me for a couple seconds before saying, “Well it’s official.”

“What? I’m stupid.”

“No, John is totally in love with you too.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “John is not in love with me. Why does he hook up with other girls if he’s in love with me.”

“He hooks up with you too.”

“Not the point Katy.”

Katy laughed before continuing, “Boys are pansies. They’re too scared to admit when the have feelings stronger than happiness, and love is definitely stronger than happiness.”

“Fine let’s say that he is in love with me. Why is he? He could have anyone he wants.”

Katy gave me a dirty look and said, “You have no clue how amazing you are. Parker-Blaine, you’re a beauty queen, figuratively and literally, you’re super nice, and smart. Any guy would be lucky to have you, especially JohnOh.”

I sighed and said, “Thanks Katy. Sorry for acting like a depressed loser. Everything is just so messed up.”

“Well there’s only one way to fix that.” Katy said and then got up and left.

I guess I need to tell John.