Wishful Thinking

I wish I could be myself. Why can't I be myself? Why can't you? I know most of you reading this are on Mibba because it's the place where you can express yourself to random strangers. It's the only place you feel safe truly being you. Where you can let the world know who you are without letting anyone you care about judge you. That's why I write here. I'm guessing that's why most of you do too.

Maybe the reason I can't be myself is because I don't want to be judged. That would be an acceptable excuse. People get away with that one all the time. Another good excuse is that I'm not sure who I am, which is also true. But the thing about those are, they are just excuses. No one's gonna get anywhere with those, so let's stop pretending we will. No, the real reason I can't be myself is because what if myself is something horrible? Something that only hurts others. Someone who doesn't care about others feelings? What if I was to be myself and I became one of those people on TV charged with the death of millions because who I really am enjoys destroying lives and being all around mean? I know many of you are thinking that that's a very overdramatic statement, but isn't that who those people on TV really are? Who's to tell us that the only reason not everyone is like that is because they choose to become what society makes us?

I don't have a scenario for this wish, because that would mean writing out my whole life. And I can't picture what myself would be because no one knows. All I know is that I wish I could be secure in knowing that the real me isn't something. I wish I didn't have to be afraid of the real me.

I wish I could be myself.