Almost Crying
Chapter Two
He gives me this look. Always the same expression, like there’s something he wants to tell me, but he can’t.
“What is it, Gee?” I whisper in his ear, squeezing him gently.
“Nothing.”
“Gerard, you always give me that look.”
“And you always reject me.”
I sigh. “I know what it’s like to feel this way, Gee, but… we’re brothers.”
“Well… what if we weren’t brothers?”
I blink. “I… I don’t know. Listen, you’ll get over me and find some nice girl… Or guy, even.”
“I’m actually gay, Mikes. I’m not bisexual or anything.”
I smile slightly. I’ve always thought he was, but he’d never officially come out to me. “Guy, then.”
“I don’t want ‘some nice guy.’ I want you.” He pulls my arms tighter around himself and I let out a sympathetic sigh.
“You’ll move on, I promise. I know it’s hard. I had to do the same thing, remember? But I got through it. I moved on.”
“Then why is there still a picture of you and Ray together by your bed?”
I gape for a moment, unable to think of a response. “Wh-why were you in my room?”
“Last weekend I came in to ask you where the Advil was.”
“Oh… right.”
“Is that why you won’t love me, Mikes? Because you’re still in love with Ray?”
“No. Ray… He hurt me and I’m working as hard as I can to get over it. I don’t love you because we’re brothers and… it’s wrong.”
“But we’re not!” he exclaims suddenly, turning his body to face me completely.
“What?”
“We… We aren’t brothers, Mikey.”
I start to wonder if he actually has taken something. “Of course we’re brothers. We’ve been together our whole lives.”
“But we’re not…”
“What is it, Gee?” I whisper in his ear, squeezing him gently.
“Nothing.”
“Gerard, you always give me that look.”
“And you always reject me.”
I sigh. “I know what it’s like to feel this way, Gee, but… we’re brothers.”
“Well… what if we weren’t brothers?”
I blink. “I… I don’t know. Listen, you’ll get over me and find some nice girl… Or guy, even.”
“I’m actually gay, Mikes. I’m not bisexual or anything.”
I smile slightly. I’ve always thought he was, but he’d never officially come out to me. “Guy, then.”
“I don’t want ‘some nice guy.’ I want you.” He pulls my arms tighter around himself and I let out a sympathetic sigh.
“You’ll move on, I promise. I know it’s hard. I had to do the same thing, remember? But I got through it. I moved on.”
“Then why is there still a picture of you and Ray together by your bed?”
I gape for a moment, unable to think of a response. “Wh-why were you in my room?”
“Last weekend I came in to ask you where the Advil was.”
“Oh… right.”
“Is that why you won’t love me, Mikes? Because you’re still in love with Ray?”
“No. Ray… He hurt me and I’m working as hard as I can to get over it. I don’t love you because we’re brothers and… it’s wrong.”
“But we’re not!” he exclaims suddenly, turning his body to face me completely.
“What?”
“We… We aren’t brothers, Mikey.”
I start to wonder if he actually has taken something. “Of course we’re brothers. We’ve been together our whole lives.”
“But we’re not…”