Almost Crying

We both stare at the screen for a few minutes, but my mind’s far away. I listen to his steady breathing as I think.

Not brothers. Gerard’s always been my blood, and now I don’t know what he is. Now, everything’s different.

It seems that way, at least.

“So how was waking up without a hangover?” I ask, taking another bite off my spoon.

“It was nice. Doesn’t happen as often as it should.” He nuzzles me gently. “Do you think I drink too much? Take too many drugs?”

I give a slight shrug so as not to knock his head off my shoulder. “I wish you wouldn’t, but it’s your life.”

He’s quiet for a while. “I think I do,” he confesses finally.

“Then why do you do it?”

“It feels good. I don’t really have much else to make me feel good right now.”

“You should get out more. Meet someone.”

He cuddles against my arm. “I don’t want anyone else.”

“You can’t have me, Gee.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re… You just can’t.”

“You don’t have an excuse anymore, Mikes. We’re both adults, not technically related. It all comes down to whether or not you’re interested.”

“Gerard, just stop. This is hard enough already, I don’t need you pestering me to have sex with you.”

“I’m not asking for sex, Mikey. I’m asking for love. That’s all I want.”