Selfish Machines

I was hung-over when I woke up. But I had bigger problems than that: the dress I had obviously fell asleep in was up around my stomach and there was a heavy arm lazily draped across my middle. I groaned, not even remembering drinking much less sleeping with someone. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes only to find Matt sleeping soundly next to me, snoring softly. I groaned again and rolled over; he woke up.

"Please tell me I didn't fuck you last night," I said, my voice cracking from sleep.

"Why? Would tha' be tha most 'orrible fhing in the world?" He grinned.

"Seriously Matt!" I groaned, pushing his chest lightly.

"Don't get your panties in a twist," he informed me, his eyes wandering down. "Although, it sorta seems like they already are..." he smiled wickedly.

"Oh fuck off," I rolled my eyes, pulling my dress down and sitting up. I immediately regretted doing so however, and found myself falling back down onto the pillows and curling up in the fetal position.

"No we didn't fuck," he responded, closing his eyes. "Tom's twat of a girlfriend tried to fight ya though an' ya jus' yawned in 'er face an' asked ta sleep in 'ere. An' then she accused me of fuckin' you. Tha' bird is righ' fucked in tha 'ead, I tell ya."

"Well I sure as fuck don't remember that but I'll take your word for it, Matthew," I replied.

"Are ya gonna stop talkin' now?" He yawned.

"If we fall back asleep you have to cuddle with me and make me coffee when we finally wake up," I proposed hopefully. He cracked one eye open and glanced down at me carefully.

"Ya promise you'll shut up?" He asked.

"Pinky swear," I poked my littlest finger out. He grinned and grabbed a hold of it with his own pinky, pulling me closer to him and winding his arm around my waist.

He sighed as his eyes fluttered shut again, "You may piss me off sometimes, but you'll neva be as annoyin' as Amy."

The reason Matt and I finally woke up for good was because we both heard Amy screeching about something from the living room. While I decided to ignore her and roll over, Matt took a rather different route and threw the sheets off of him, tugging up at the shorts that were hanging loosely around his waist.

"If this mental bitch doesn't shut tha fuck up..." he was muttering as he exited the room. I sighed, throwing the sheets off of me in the same manner Matt had and scurrying out right behind him.

As soon as I saw the look on Tom and Amy's face I immediately realized what it looked like Matt and I had done. I gave Matt the up and the down and then glanced down at my own attire and started to laugh.

"Holy shit, we didn't fuck calm down you guys," I rolled my eyes.

"I wouldn't put it past you," Amy sneered.

I raised an eyebrow, "I was gonna come out here to make sure Matt didn't rip you to shreds but if you're gonna be such a fucking bitch I can just go back to sleep."

I looked back at Tom then, who hadn't uttered a word since I walked out of Matt's room. He looked bored, slightly annoyed even and it left me wondering when he was going to just send Amy home. It was obvious he wasn't enjoying her company in the least bit and honestly, it pissed me off that she had him all to herself. I wouldn't call it jealousy, because that wasn't the type of relationship I ever wanted for myself and Tom, I was just pissed. It was rare Tom and I were ever home at the same time and I had been looking forward to spending a few days holed up in the big old house with him. And now Amy was here, ruining it all. And it wasn't even like she was pleasant to be around, for anyone really. I bet Tom wasn't even getting laid. What a waste of a plane ticket.

"I'm not being a bitch!" She screeched, trying to defend her but only further proving my point that she was, in fact, a bitch.

"THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING SO EARLY IN THE GODDAMN MORNING?!" I yelled a lot louder than my hangover would have liked me too. But I was being overdramatic to prove a point. "This isn't even your house, have some fucking respect," I informed her. "This is why British people hate Americans," I went on. "Because they all think we're loud and obnoxious like you are."

I turned around to go back to the bedroom to the sound of Matt's booming laughter. I fell down onto his bed and pulled the sheets over my body, closing my eyes and hoping sleep found me again. I heard some more yelling and then the sound of a slamming door before the bedroom door slowly creaked open. I fully expected Matt to fall back down onto his bed next to me and congratulate me on verbally kicking Amy's ass but all I felt was the bed sink down by my feet and a pair of eyes burning holes into my back.

Tom was the one there when I finally turned around. "Yes?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yer fuckin' insane," he said flatly.

"I thought you'd be coming in here to say thank you and maybe try to bone me because by the looks of things she hasn't in a while," I rolled my eyes.

"You didn't 'ave ta say all of those fhings, ya know?"

"Just because you're not man enough to tell her the truth doesn't mean I'm not either," I replied, pushing myself into a sitting position.

"And jus' because you don't give a fuck about anyfhin' doesn't mean I don't eifher," he mocked me. He sighed then, lowering his gaze to his hands and then slowly looking back up at me through his lashes. "Listen," he began softly. "I know ya don't like Amy and I know you fhink you know what's best for me but you've gotta left me do fhings at my own pace. I don't need ya ta constantly jump down 'er throat like tha', okay?"

"Is it so bad that I just want you all to myself like old times?" I asked, my voice quiet.

Tom's smile was small, but enough to let me know he had been wishing for the same thing. "She's leaving in two days," he said. I nodded but said nothing, instead opting to just lay back down and hopefully fall back asleep. "...So did you uh....realleh not sleep wiff Matt?"

"No I didn't sleep with Matt," I groaned, still lying down and facing the wall. "He's your best friend, I would never do that." I was bad at confronting my problems head on, especially when it came to Tom, but I was always the queen of subtle jabs. When Tom didn't answer me right away, I knew what I had said got to him. "Come on Tom," I sighed, rolling over to face him. Noticing he wasn't looking at me I rolled my eyes and grabbed a hold of his arm, pulling him down towards me. He was only wearing a pair of boxer's and an Architects tee-shirt, presumably because he had only woken up when his crazy girlfriend decided to start screaming at him. I cuddled up against his chest and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck, earning a laugh from him as my breath tickled him. "Take a chill pill, okay?" I smiled against his skin.

"'ow can ya possibly expect me ta take a chill pill when I've got two crazy birds drivin' me up tha wall?" He asked, letting his hands come to rest on my hips. His thumbs began rubbing soft circles there and my eyes began to flutter shut.

"You worry too much Tommy," I yawned.

It never failed to amaze me how simple things could be between Tom and I. Because at the end of the day, despite all of the back talk and stupid fights, we really did care about each other. All of those fights and all of the stupid bickering, sometimes I think we just did it to get a rise out of one another. It was because we knew we could say or do whatever we wanted to each other, no matter how terrible that thing might be, and we would still stick around. Because things could be easy if we wanted them too...but then they would be too boring.

---

The fact that I hated waking up with fiery passion made doing so three times within one day all the more terrible. This time it was a slamming door followed by Amy's booming voice from the living room. I sighed but didn't move, unwilling to even acknowledge the shit storm I knew was about to hit us all if she walked in and found Tom and I cuddling.

"Should I get up?" Tom asked groggily, making me laugh.

"If you don't want her to yell anymore than she already has today, then yeah."

He groaned and rolled over onto his back, taking all of his body heat with him. I turned around to see him rubbing his blue eyes and couldn't suppress a smile from forming on my lips when I realized how adorable he looked lying there. I leaned down to kiss him quickly before standing up quickly and walking over to Matt's dresser to grab a pair of basketball shorts and a tee-shirt to change into.

"Just go in the bathroom," I suggested. There was a bathroom attached to Matt's bedroom with another door that led out into the living room. It would be a perfect excuse for Tom who could easily say he went to the bathroom via the door in the living room when Amy arrived back to the flat ranting and raving like the psycho that she was.

Tom followed my advice and walked towards the door, stopping at the doorframe with his hand on the door handle. He cleared his throat loudly and when I looked up he was puckering his lips up, making me laugh. I scurried over to him quickly, grabbing it face and bringing it down towards mine to leave him with an open mouthed kiss I knew Amy couldn't compete with. When I pushed him away from me he was grinning from ear to ear which only made me smile wider.

Once Tom was gone and I was changed I found myself sitting crossed legged in the middle of Matt's bed, staring off into space and half listening to Tom and his girlfriend's conversation through the paper thin walls.

Why was he dating her and not me?

It was a stupid question really with a rather simple answer: it didn't work. I couldn't explain the exact details as to why, but we had tried it once before and it was a move that almost severed our entire relationship from one another. After that we decided it wasn't worth actually "being together" to ruin our entire friendship and so we never bothered to try again.
It didn't stop me from wondering though.

Amy was clearly all wrong for him. She was too high-strung and he was too easy going. She wanted him to be her end all and be all and he wanted her to fuck him and roll over and fall asleep. Even if he said he didn't want her, even if I was right in front of him willing to do everything she wouldn't for him, she was somehow still in Sheffield.

Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts a glass shattered against the floor and the front door slammed so loudly it rattled a few of the pictures Matt had hung up on his wall. It jolted me out of my daydreams and brought me out into the living room where Matt was playing Xbox and Tom was standing in the kitchen looking down at the broken glass that lined the floor.

"I don't fhink she's comin' back anytime soon," Tom mumbled when he noticed me staring.

"Come on," I grabbed his arm softly. "Let's just clean this up and go back over to the big old house."

He said nothing and somehow I knew things were back to normal. If only for a little bit, at least.