I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

I heard the sharp intake of breath from everyone around me. I heard the book the preacher had been holding clatter to the floor. I heard the whispers start up around the church. The church organ slowly stopped playing the death march. The air grew cold and heavy. I looked up, finally, to meet Alex’s eyes, but found he couldn’t even meet mine. Jack was shaking his head at me, his expression torn between relief and terror. Alex looked like he was going to drop any minute.

Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees in front of me. Jack leaned down and attempted to put his arm around him, but Alex pushed him away. He met my eyes then, and said only one word.

“Why?”

Why. This was such a loaded question. Why didn’t I want to marry him? Why had I waited until now, after everything, to decide this? Why was I making a scene? Why was I such a bitch? Or … in my opinion, the appropriate question wouldn’t have been why. It would have been how. How can this happen to me?

I took a deep breath. “I’m not so sure you want to get into this in front of everyone, Alex. Not yet.”

His mom chose that moment to stand up, shaking. Rian and Zack instantly jumped to their feet, each of them grabbing an arm. She approached us slowly but surely, one step at a time. Her courage made me sick to my stomach, and I wrapped an arm around my belly. The baby kicked underneath me, as if trying to reassure me, but I was beyond reassurances at this point.

Isobel finally reached me. “I believe you owe me an explanation, Lisa. If not Alex, if not your parents, if not anyone else here, I think you have the decency to explain to me why you can’t just marry my son. Even if you didn’t love him, and I’d begin to think that you didn’t, is there really anything stopping you now? We’ve paid for this wedding, we’ve paid for everything, and we’ve supported you through everything. I personally never thought Alex was right for you, but I supported him anyway. Why would you do this now?”

Her voice lost its strength and she sat down quite suddenly into one of the chairs. I started to speak, but she held out a hand. “Let me finish, child.”

“I know that the baby is not Alex’s.”

The church went eerily silent after she said this. I couldn’t turn to face Alex. My eyes were glued to the face of his mother, but I could feel his drilling holes into my back. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Jack was shaking, reaching out towards Alex, but every time he did so, Alex turned away from him.

“I’ve known this for quite some time. I also know the circumstances of why you did what you did, which is why I am shocked to the core that you didn’t go through with this. See, the reason I wanted you to marry Alex was because I wanted to make sure that Alex was safe. He’s my only son, you know, and I can’t have him dying before me. Or even right after me.” Isobel turned to face the crowd then.

“For those of you who don’t know, I’m dying. I’ll be dead within six months. Cry, carry on, but let me finish with this young lady first.”

She turned back to face me. I couldn’t help the tears that were dripping down my face. I’d never felt so ashamed in my life. I just wanted to die, and that was that.

“I just want to know, what it is that made you jeopardize everything. I know you love Alex as a friend, dare I even say as a brother as of late? So … please tell me what was important enough that you risked his life, even yours and the baby’s?”

I looked at her. “ I … it’s not for me to say. I really can’t tell you.”

She looked at me, her eyes filled with disapproval. “Very well.”

It was then that Jack stood up. I saw him, the tall lanky boy in the loose suit, walking up to Mrs.Gaskarth and kneeling beside her, pushing me out of the way. He took her hand in hers and looked at her.

“You’ve always been like a mother to me, and if this changes anything between us, always know that I considered you my mother for a long time. I remember once in high school I had you sign something for me and when the teacher asked me who you were, I remember telling her that you were the woman of my dreams. Everyone in the class looked at me funny, but Alex knew what I meant. He knew that I meant that you were the mother I never had, that I’d always wanted, and that I would always pretend that you were mine. I love you and respect you, but if this puts our relationship on the dark side, so be it. But, Isobel, I’m the reason that Lisa can’t marry your son.”

She looked shocked. “YOU’RE the baby’s father?!”

Jack looked like he wanted to laugh and I just wanted to cry. I sank my head into my hands and let the tears wash into them.

“No. Not at all. What I mean is … Your son is in love with me.”

Nervous laughter rang out across the room, but Jack marched bravely on.

“And I’m in love with him. Neither of us intended this to happen, but it did. I encouraged him to ignore it, because Lisa needed him and he needed Lisa, but then when I found out that it wasn’t Alex’s baby, things became different. He didn’t understand what had changed, but the fact was, Lisa needed him even more that he knew just then. I would have pulled away in a heartbeat because all I ever want is what’s best for him. And that’s why I’m telling you this. It may not be Lisa’s place, but I’m one half of this relationship and that gives me the right to tell all of you.”

Alex finally snapped out of the shock he’d been in. He grabbed me and Lisa, and pulled out of the church into the anteroom. The noise level blossomed incredibly after that and we knew that everyone was discussing what was just happened.

“Will someone explain what the fuck is going on here?” Alex asked, his voice dead. There was no other word to describe him but dead.

I looked at him. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I’m so, so sorry.”

Jack half expected Alex to tell her to shove her apologies up her ass, but he just sat down abruptly, not saying a word. He looked at her expectantly.

“Things just weren’t working for us. I met a guy, and he was amazing. At first. But it didn’t take long for the relationship to go downhill. I tried to leave a few times, but he always found ways to get me to stay. When I found out I was pregnant, he told me I didn’t have a choice but to convince you it was yours, or he’d kill all of us.” My voice dropped several octaves. “I was just so scared, Alex.”

He leaned forward and drew me into his arms. I shivered. He held me for a few minutes and then looked at me.

“I forgive you, Lis. But please, don’t even keep something like this from me. Ever. If it concerns me, you, Jack, the baby, whatever, I have the right to know. I love all of you and I’d do anything to protect you.”

“Even if the baby’s not yours …. You’ll still be a part of her life, right? Not as a daddy … but at least as a friend?”

He smiled. “Of course.”

Jack’s POV

Seeing Alex forgive her killed me. Not that I wanted there to be more trouble, but I knew that there was no way he was going to be that lenient with me. He probably hated me for hiding this from him when he had more than the right to know.

My nerves got even more fried when he asked Lisa to leave, telling her that he’d see her later. He turned to me, his eyes watery.

And he uttered the same word he’d uttered in the church.

“Why?”