I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

I’d spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was a kid – constantly breaking bones, cutting fingers, getting concussions. It got even worse after we started the band way back when; me and Alex had a bad habit of getting tangled up in the guitar wires and smashing our heads open, or practicing silly stage moves without enough space. If I remember right, Rian had even given Alex a concussion once when Alex told him that his drum solo sucked.

Still, all of those trips to the hospital had never had the surreal quality that this one was having on me. I’d stood guard over Alex and Sammie until the cop cars and ambulances had pulled up with a flash of bright light and enough sirens to wake the entire city. We’d tried without any success to wake Alex up, which sent panic racing into my spine, but the paramedics had reassured me time and time again that he was simply suffering from shock.

They’d managed to tear me away from him long enough for me to tell what little I knew; the rest, they reluctantly told me. It was a tale that would crack even the strongest of hearts.

The man who’d fallen to his death in front of my very eyes was a man named Michael Sutherland; or, as he’d been going by now, Mike Racine. He had kidnapped his daughter Samantha, and had set fire to the house where her and her mother had lived; with her mother still inside. He’d fled, and had somehow met Lisa, and the rest was history.

“Poor kid,” the cop nearest me said sympathetically. “Four years old and she’s already seen more violence than most people my age with a normal job do, and I’m 40 years older than her. She’s going to have a rough life.”

“Do … do you think that he, that she, that-“ I couldn’t voice what I was trying to say, but it was evident that the cop understood me.

“Was she raped?” he said bluntly but not unkindly. “I’m thinking that that is very likely. She has definitely been beaten; there are bruises on her that suggest the beatings stopped at one point and then started up again somewhere within the last six months.”

Six months . Six months ago, was when I’d first been trying to deal with my feelings for Alex. Six months ago was most likely when Lisa had told Michael that she was pregnant with his child. Six months ago, I hated Lisa. Six months ago, I was pretty sure that I hadn’t stood a chance with Alex. Now … I loved Lisa, I had Alex, and I also felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility towards the beautiful little girl that I’d held in my arms for the past half an hour.

The cop must have been reading my mind again, because he put a hand on my arm gently.

“Everything’s going to be fine. Your boyfriend is fine, your friend Lisa is fine, and Samantha will eventually be fine. You and Alexander did amazing. What you did took guts, there’s no doubt about that.” He smiled at me, and I smiled back briefly.

My mind wandered back over the events of the last six months.
Another cop walked up to us. “Hey, Sarg, you said you wanted to talk to the girl that Micheal had been seeing for the last few months. If you want to grab a ride with us, she’s at the hospital.”

That got my attention. “Lisa’s at the hospital? Why?” My head shot up as I watched his expression. A smile crept across the younger cops face.

“I assure you, she’s fine. She’s bitching and threatening to cut off the dick of the next guy who comes near her, but other than that, she’s right as rain.”

Cut off the dick of the next guy who – it suddenly clicked in my head.

“SHE HAD THE BABY?!” I screamed, jumping to my feet. “When? How big? Is it healthy? Did it hurt?” Questions fired from my mouth before I could stop them, and amusement glittered in the eyes of the two cops that stood before me. Color rushed into my cheeks but before I could apologize, the younger of the two cut me off.

“My girlfriend had our first baby last month; I know that it’s exciting, no matter if you’re the father, the godparents, or even the delivering doctor. Each birth is so special... so amazing … and all women hate men for a little while after, until they decide they can punish us by making us rub their feet and feed the baby at 3am and tell them they look pretty a thousand times a day when they’re dieting off the baby fat. If you want to come to the hospital with us, you can.”

I really wanted to, but my eyes flew instantly to the ambulance where Alex was laying, on a stretcher, alone. And then my eyes flew to Sammie, sitting in the front seat of a cop car with a sippy cup filled with juice.

The older one read me like a book this time. “They’ll be fine. They’re both going to be admitted to the same hospital where Miss Lisa is, so you can ride along with us, check on Miss Lisa, and then join them before they even knew you were gone.” He pulled gently on my hand; I knew when I’d been beat.

Motioning for them to wait just a minute, I walked over to where Alex was laying.

“Hey, Lex. I’m going to be waiting for you at the hospital, okay? Lisa had her baby. We’re godparents! I bet she looks just like Lisa. Wait until you hear what Lisa named her! Oh and Lex? When you wake up, we need to talk … there’s something I want to ask you.”

I leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek, and his eyelids fluttered.

“Jack?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, baby, I’m here.” I placed my hand on his soft cheek.

“Go see Lisa, tell her I love her and the baby, and you, Jack, I love you so much. We’ll talk after.”

Blinking back tears, I kissed him again and walked over to the cops.

The younger one once again smiled at me. “Young love is something to be proud of. And you two obviously love each other.”

Startled by the fact that a) the cop was openly accepting our relationship, and b) he’d managed to figure out that we were a couple, I couldn’t find the words to say.

He knew it, too, for he smiled at me through the mirror. “Sarg here told me that he was your boyfriend, but even if he hadn’t, I could tell by the way you look at him. It’s really obvious when someone means everything to someone else. There’s just such a look of fierce determination and pride when you look at him – it’s like you’re sending him a secret message saying, “Here we are. We made it this far. It wasn’t easy but we did it and it was worth every moment.” You know that kind of thing. Except its not so secret because everyone around can read it. And everyone respects it and even admires it. Those who can’t aren’t worth your time.”

I was silent on the rest of the ride, just taking in what the cop had said to me. I’d been so worried that Alex and I weren’t going to be able to be together because no one would approve of us; but here we were, six months after admitting our complicated feelings, with the best friends in the world, and the best family. Because, when it came down to it, the Gaskarths have been my family all along. It took one slightly overweight, obviously happy with his family and proud of his opinion cops for that to really sink it.

Better late than never, right?

I hummed as I walked along the hallway towards Lisa’s room. All was right in the world now, or at least, it would be after I talked with Alex.

I reached the door and peered around it hesitantly.

Lisa was sitting up in the bed, a tiny pink bundle in her hands. She was staring down at her baby with the same love and fierce pride that I’d just been told could be seen in my eyes. Except, her message read something along the lines of “You’re mine. Nothing can take that away from me. No matter what you do or who you become, I promise to always love you and keep you safe.” It was almost too much to bear and my eyes filled up with water.

She noticed me then. “JACK!” Her voice invited me in so I tiptoed into the room.

“You don’t have to tiptoe, Jacky, she’s awake. Come and say hi!”

With that, I swept her and the baby into my arms. I could hear her cooing and I could feel Lisa’s laughter as I jerked back in surprise as the baby’s mouth attempting to attach itself to my nipple through my shirt.

“I think she’s hungry again. It’s kind of too bad she’s not Alex’s, she really does remind me a lot of him already.”

I smiled at this thought but didn’t say anything. She noticed, and frowned.

“That didn’t bother you, did it, Jack? I didn’t mean anything by it, it was just a simple train of thought, I –“

I cut her off. “It doesn’t bother me. Alex would make a great daddy. Are you sure it’s not his?”

She nodded, her eyes wistful. “Very sure.”

We sat there in silence for a while, both of us looking at beautiful baby Isobel.

Lisa spoke up. “The cop that came to see me before you got here told me Alex was being brought here, but was okay. What happened out there, Jack? Tell me, please. I need to know.”

And so slowly and painfully, I told her everything that had happened since I got kidnapped by Michael Sutherland. When I got to the part about Sammie being kidnapped and her mother having been killed, Lisa’s grip on her baby tightened noticeably. I reached out and put my hand on hers.

“Its okay, Lis. You’re okay. He’s dead now; he’s never going to hurt us again.”

She nodded, but the tears dripped down her cheeks anyway. “What-what’s going to happen to the little girl?” she whispered, her voice tight.

My own eyes watered again. “I don’t know, Lisa, but I intend to find out. I won’t let anything happen to her ever again.”

“You’re a miracle, Jack Barakat,” she sniffed. “I’m so proud to have you be a part of this baby’s life. She’ll love you.”

I smiled down at Isobel. “I already love her. And you. I love both of you.”

“We love you too.” Our eyes met for a moment, and then she made a shooing motion. “Go see Alex, Jacky. He must be going crazy without you. You guys are going to have a perfect life together. I can’t see how it can even get any better.”

I do, I thought as I walked away. I do, and I intend to make it happen.