She Will Be Loved

It was now about nine at night. I had, somehow, remained in my clothes over my bikini and was now relaxing with my feet in the water on the edge of the pool. When it got dark everyone had started a bonfire on the beach. That’s where everyone, but me had gathered since it was the only light besides the two lanterns around the pool area. Jimmy, being Jimmy, was running in circles after Frank and Johnny. Everyone was a bit tipsy and Jimmy thought it was fun to ‘chase the garden gnomes’.

“Whadya think you’re doin’ missy?” I looked up, kind of surprised, to see Brian sitting next to me. He had a (cliché) red cup filled with, no doubt, liquor of some kind. I could literally smell the alcohol floating off his breath.

“Sitting? Watching?” I tested, unsure of what the drunk wanted for an answer. He grinned, wagging his index finger back and forth as a way of a scowl.

“Nope. You’re being Ms. Loner,” Brian chirped. I raised an eyebrow as I watched the guitarist sway in his spot.

“I don’t really feel like getting chased by a tree,” I remarked, watching Jimmy tackled Frank to the ground, their shouts too far away from me to try and hear.

“Well, here!” He exclaimed, forcing his cup into my hand. “Take a drink, you’ll feel better.”

“Brian, I’m underage,” I said softly, moving the cup side to side to watch the dark liquid move with it. Brian made a ‘pshh’ sound with his lips.

“You act like I care! I mean, it’s like you never had before.” He looks up to see me still staring at it. I was even lightly sniffing it from it’s space away from me. “Haven’t you?”

“I used to. I gave it up,” I confessed. I had been known as the ‘party girl’ when I was fifteen. Situation got out of hand and I went cold turkey. Getting your stomach pumped changes a lot.

“Well girl, pick it back up!” I just stared at him blankly. He stared back, trying to raise an eyebrow. But the eyebrow that should stay down was twitching as if it wanted to go up too. He gave up, letting his eyebrow fall back down. “Fine. At least hold it so I can light up a smoke.”

I nodded. I watched the end of the cigarette he produced as it lit up red. My eyes studied it hard. Brian caught my gaze and grinned. I turned away bashfully, handing him his cup. “Wipe off that smile.”

“Do you want one?” I looked back at him, watching as he let out a deliberate, long breath of smoke. I thought it over in my head. I used to smoke like a chimney, but I’d quit for two years. And smoking was just that, it wouldn't make me lose my thinking like drinking would. Finally I sighed and nodded.

“Yeah. Why not?” Brian grinned, as if proud of me, and passed my cigarette. He lit it up, allowing me to take a deep breath. I could help my eyes half lidded from the sweet nicotine. I leaned against Brian who wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Feel better?” I took another breath, tapping off the ashes onto the ground like Brian had been doing.

“Yeah.” It was then I remembered how dependent I had been on all the things counted as illegal back then. Cigarettes, alcohol, weed. It felt unreal to be this happy about a cigarette after all this time. I cringed at myself, but my body refused to drop the cancer stick.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I frowned, taking another drag.

“I don’t know anymore Bri,” I sighed, letting the smoke escape through my nose. Suddenly I felt the tug on my arm, someone pulling me into the deep side of the pool I sat on the edge of. I opened my mouth to scream, but I was underwater before I could make a noise. I could roughly make out the shape of Frank who was swimming away. I trashed underwater, letting out silent screams. This only caused oxygen to leave and water take it’s place. I squeezed my eyes shut, figuring this was where I was going to die. In a pool of the house of people I had come to know as good friends.

I felt the shift of the water as someone jumped into the pool. Arms wrapped around my waist and began to swim towards the edge. Black dots were in my vision and the world was spinning. I felt lips on mine and a push on my chest. Two times later, water came flying out of my mouth. I coughed and filled my lungs as much air as I could, flipping onto my stomach to not choke on the exiting water. I calmed, lying on the concrete with deep breaths. Salvation felt good.

“Oh my God! Are you okay Koty?” I instantly recognized Val’s voice. It might be because of the pure fact she was the only other girl here, but that’s besides the point. I felt calloused hands rubbing my back comfortingly.

“I’ll be okay,” I breathed, resting my closed eyes on my arms that were crossed on the ground in front of me. I felt a breeze and shivered. It was then I realized that my shorts and shirt was missing. “What the hell?! Where are my cover clothes?”

“At the bottom of the pool, I think. It was hard to pull you with those weighing you down.” I raised my head to look for the owner of the voice. My eyes landed on Zacky who looked bashfully at his legs which were crossed Indian style. I sat up with some trouble and gave Zacky a tight hug.

“Thank-you for saving me,” I spoke, kissing his cheek. He turned red instantly.

“It’s not that dramatic.”

“Actually it is. I don’t know how to swim,” I confessed.

“How?” Matt asked, shocked. His agape face matched Val’s, Brian’s, Gerard’s, and Mikey’s.

“I just never - ” I cut myself off, thinking of a lie. “Was able to. We didn’t have much money to go to the local pool and none of my friends had any.”

Suddenly I was brought into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I pulled you in the pool! If I would have known you couldn’t swim I wouldn’t have! You can shove me in, would that make you feel better?”

“Frank you don’t - ”

“No, no, I insist. You can get Bob to hold me under, yeah? He’d do it, he really would!” Frank rambled, grinning. The nod Bob gave me let me know Frank wasn’t kidding, he would do it if I asked. I laughed, shaking my head.

“Seriously Frankie, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine.” The look on everyone but Frank’s face let me know they were all disappointed by my choice to not take Frank’s gracious offer. I looked at everyone, scratching the back of my neck. “Well, if it will make everyone else happy…”

“Wait, wait!” Frank’s plead wasn’t finished. Bob was already grabbing the short man and jumping in the pool with him in hand. Everyone began to laugh loudly, making even me giggle. Soon everyone was breaking off into their own things but Zacky and I. It was quiet for a while, just staring into our own directions.

“So, uhm - ” I turned to look at the man who was rubbing the back of his neck. “Would you want another cigarette? Frank kind of made you lose yours.”

“Oh.” I could faintly see the cigarette bobbing at the top of the pool. “I don’t think so.”

“How come?” He asked curiously, finally meeting my eyes.

“I think that was karma talking. I had a smoke after two years only to almost get drowned. No more for me,” I spoke sternly. Zacky laughed at my logic, but said nothing else. It lapsed into a slightly uncomfortable silent. I stood to my feet, rubbing my eyes a bit. “Well I’m going to go to sleep. See you tomorrow Zack.”

“Okay. Night Kota.” I walked into the house before heading through the kitchen to the bedroom upstairs. I closed my door and walked into the bathroom, tossing my swimming suit into the bathtub. I walked into my room and quickly changed into new undergarments, black short shorts, and a red tank top. I climbed under my blanket and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.