M.A.R.

It was the day after and Ami had returned to school. She really wanted to avoid Ritsuka today considering how mean she was to him. She was afraid that if she saw him she’d break up and cry again like the big, emotional baby she was. It wasn’t hard avoiding him, though, considering that they were in different buildings. She softly stroked the picture in her pocket. That was one thing she couldn’t let go no matter what. It’s always been by her side through thick and thin and this problem was no different.
By lunch time, though, the weather had gone from a cloudy morning to a showery afternoon. Rain was coming down in harsh drizzles and teenagers packed themselves inside, seeking shelter from the warm rainfall. Ami, who had never encountered such a tropical storm in the big city as this one, was the only one outside at the mouth of the gazebo, taking in as much of the little miracle as she could.
Sitting on a stone bench, she closed her eyes and sighed and faced the sky. The drops wet her face and hair and dripped down her neck. Her mind involuntarily thought about the frigid voice Ritsuka shot at her yesterday and her heart cringed in unpermitted pain. She grasped her heart, another unintentional move, as she gazed at the hand on her lap. The hand that held Ritsuka’s so firmly and confidently only two days ago…
She thought about what she said to him yesterday and how uncaring towards his feelings he must think she is, but, truly, all she was thinking about is him. If he keeps hanging out with her then all the hatred she gets on a daily basis will be shared with him. She doesn’t want anyone to hate him just because he hangs out with her… She squeezed her eyes shut and chocked down a sob as her tears gently mingled and mashed with the rain drops on her face.
“What are you crying for?” a too familiar voice broke Ami’s moment.
Her heart skipped a beat as she gasped in surprise. She hastily removed the hand from her heart and laid it down on her lap with her other hand before looking up.
“Ritsuka…” Her voice was sour, but her stomach did flips at the simple sight of his face. She must have had a scowl on her dripping wet face because as soon as she said that he turned away, droplets flying from his hair, a slight scowl on the perimeter of his lips but obvious hurt glazing over his eyes.
Ami instantly regretted the grimace she unconsciously gave him and replaced her scowl with an apologetic frown.
“Why are you crying, Ami? You’re the one avoiding me.” He straightforwardly stated.
Ami couldn’t think of a lie right away. She had half a mind to tell him about Mitsukuni, but she knew he’d only think it was a load of crap. She couldn’t even truly believe that Mitsukuni was real.
There was silence between the two as Ami thought up excuse after excuse, but none really seemed right. So she just decided to tell him what she told him last time. “I’m avoiding you because your dad doesn’t want us to be friends…” she mumbled.
“Bull.” Ritsuka growled right off the bat.
Ami turned back to him, her eyes apologetic. She didn’t want to go to these measures, but she really wanted him to live a normal life. And that was impossible with her at his side… She had to be mean; it was the only way to keep him away from her. She had to break both of their hearts…
“…I hate you Ritsuka… That’s the only reason why…” the words stung at her eyes as she faked a assertive voice, though inside she was tearing herself apart for saying the words.
The initial shock on his face was enough to make her almost break down into sobs, but she had to stay strong. It was for his own good. He’s always been looking out for her, ever since she could remember. Now it was her turn.
Ritsuka was startled at the words that she just said. Why would she say that? What had he done to her that made her hate him? Why did it make his heart stop beating and the world come to a halt? Why was this hatred so sudden? It had to be lies.
“Stop lying, Ami. I know you don’t hate me…” Ritsuka stated, his voice still somewhat in disbelief.
“I’m not lying…” Ami murmured, shifting her eyes downward telling all.
Ritsuka held her face in his palms. “No, Ami. You’re lying. What are you lying for? Especially lying to me. I thought I was your best friend, Ami! You don’t have to lie to me! Definitely not to me! You know I hate liars!” he told her sternly.
“Then why don’t you listen to your father! He’s telling the truth! I’m bad for you, Ritsuka! I’m no good! I’m lower than lower class! I’m the trash of the lower class, and he’s told you before; I know he’s told you before!” Ami yelled, holding tears back from her eyes as she pushed his hands away from her. “The whole world knows it, even I do! Why don’t you just listen to the world and leave me alone like how they do?!”
“Because I know what they’re saying is pure bullshit, Ami! You should know its pure bullshit, too! Why do you care about what the world says about you, huh? They don’t know the real you like how I do! You have to stop listening to the world because they know nothing about you, Ami! You’re wonderful! You’re smart and fun and just full of life!” Ritsuka shouted at her as he grabbed hold of her shoulders and attempted to shake some sense into her. He gazed into her suffering golden eyes, hoping the message was sinking in, but all he found were tears and that’s all he needed. He leaned down so he could be eye level with her as she stroked her drenched face and his voice turned soft as he told her, “Ami… You’re such an amazing person. But they don’t see that. They only see fear and that’s why it’s their loss. You’re so beautiful, Ami. I don’t care what they world says about you because I know you better than the world. I know you better than you know yourself, even. I don’t even care if they’ll hate me for being with you. You’re all I care about. It’s always been only you…” He tried to find a reaction in her eyes, but she shut them from his view. He hoped that she had listened to everything he said. He knows she could be stubborn sometimes, but he never tells a lie. He meant the whole thing. To Ritsuka, the world never mattered. Not without her.
Words vanished from Ami’s thoughts. What could she say to that? Her heart was caught in her throat as butterflies in her stomach attempted a getaway. She knew Ritsuka was her best friend and he’d always be her best friend, even when she didn’t want him to be. She looked up into his meaningful, amethyst eyes and a sudden flame erupted inside of her. A longing that she’s never experienced before in her whole life. She had no idea what it was, but it took over her body and her mind, keeping her from thinking about what she was going to say. Words began to form on her tongue. She opened her mouth which were full with words she thought she’d never speak; awake and unafraid, asleep or dead. But, instead of an unplanned confession, out came a loud booming strum of thunder that sucked the soul from her body. The bones rattled in her empty carcass and her heart literally stopped beating. Wave after wave of memories that she had hidden away crawled out of the back from her mind like the living dead, petrifying Ami to the point where she had stopped beating. The crackling thunder, the lead-heavy rain, her parent’s faces as they sunk, trapped in the belly of the drowning steel monster. She was stuck in the memory of the death of the imaginarily happy land her parents created for her, where no one could get hurt and where wounds always healed. Even the verbal ones…
“Ami…?” Ritsuka tried to call her back, concerned about the sudden flash of complete fear in her wide, dilated eyes.
Another roll of monstrous thunder steadily followed the first forcing Ami to jump back to the present, grasping anything that she could get a hold on.
Ritsuka was stunned and confused at first as Ami tightly wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He didn’t understand why she was doing this until the thunder blasted up again and Ami screamed into his torso, pulling him closer in an attempt to his herself.
As if it were instinct, Ritsuka wrapped his arms around her protectively. He looked up at the dark clouds menacingly, just figuring out that it was the thunder. He looked back down at Ami who was trembling against his body as fear engulfed her whole.
Thinking quickly, he picked her up bridal style and ran into the nearest building as if she weighed nothing. She was still shaking uncontrollably as another crackle of thunder seeped its way into the building. Ami grasped him tighter. He couldn’t tell if she was crying against his chest or not because they were both drenched from being outside. Having her shaking so violently in his arms…it truly scared Ritsuka out of his mind. He has never seen anyone this scared before in his entire life. What was he supposed to do? Gripping her tighter, he ran down the hall in determination. He forcefully swung the doors to the music section of the building and ran into a soundproof practice room, ignoring the scared and surprised gawks of the band students.
He stood against the closed door for a second, the still shaking Ami in his arms. “A-Ami. It’s okay now. You’ll be safe in here.” Ritsuka promised. She still didn’t loosen up her grip around him. Neither did she uncover her face from his chest. Ritsuka could clearly hear every sob that she tried to hold back, telling him that she was crying. With a sigh of semi-defeat, he sat on the floor, the girl on his lap. He wound his arms around her shoulders protectively as he laid his cheek on her head like when they were kids. He was clueless of what to do to help her. He reached into his pocket, a habit he had when he was lost for what to do, but his fingers simply wrapped around a wet, mushy photo. He sighed again. This day didn’t seem as if it wanted to get better…
“I-I’m s-sorry.” Ami hiccupped, her words coming out muffled because she spoke them into his chest.
“No, Ami,” Ritsuka gently commanded, “Don’t you ever be sorry. Not anymore.” He pulled up her tear worn face to meet his warm, forgiving smile. “As long as you’re with me you could never do anything wrong.” He promised.
Ami gazed up into his truthful eyes, that mysterious longing feeling eating up all of the fear she held before. She couldn’t find the happiness to smile back at him, yet, though. Sadness still poisoned her heart.
Ritsuka couldn’t stand her sadness anymore. He didn’t want her to be miserable for the rest of her life. He just wanted her to be happy. He wanted to see her happy all of the time. He longed for her stunning smile and her cheery, golden eyes. He wanted to be her happiness…
Inch by inch, he bent down and gently placed his lips on hers.
Ami’s eyes widened in surprise and her insides did an explosive double take. Was Ritsuka kissing her? Were his lips gently pressing against hers? She couldn’t believe this was happening, but at the same time…it felt natural. Like this is where the world is supposed to be all of the time. It felt like all the worries of the world simply melted away in that single moment. Ami shut her eyes and pressed harder against Ritsuka’s soft, warm lips as she instinctively melted into the kiss…