And It's You I Can't Deny

1 month passed...
2 months passed...
3 months passed...
4 months passed...

It had been four months since Cameron had seen Martin, and he was on the verge of giving up, despite the dog tag necklace promise. Not once had he heard anything from the older boy, and it was close to driving him crazy. It was bad enough when the tour ended and Cameron didn’t see Martin that week, but a month after that? His grandma and Ryan were close to their breaking points. It was clear to anyone that saw Cameron that he was miserable, and those who knew about Martin could tell how heartbroken he was, even after only knowing Martin for two weeks. Cameron had honestly trusted Martin to remember him, especially since they’d had a lot of sex the night before Martin left. Having sex that early into knowing someone wasn’t usually what Cameron did, but with Martin it was different. It was special. He was stupid to think that Martin would think their time together was special too.

What made it worse was that Cameron had adopted the little pug puppy Martin had found. Gunner. A month into Martin being gone, Cameron missed the musician so much that he adopted Gunner in the hope of having at least one link to Martin. Sure, the small dog never failed to make Cameron smile, but it wasn’t the same as having Martin by his side. Cameron knew now that he would have to start forgetting Martin, no matter how hard and painful that would be. He would always treasure the memories, that was for definite.

His days were all the same, no change, no excitement, just enough to do to keep him occupied.
He woke up.
He ate breakfast.
He took Gunner out for a walk.
He fed Gunner.
He went to the shelter with Gunner.
He walked Gunner.
He came home.
He ate dinner.
He fed Gunner.
He went to bed.
This cycle had been on repeat for the past 4 months, and it was slowly driving him insane. Ryan and his grandma were getting more and more worried about him as time went on, but they couldn’t do anything to break him out of his cycle. They also didn’t know that Cameron cried himself to sleep every night, his heart aching for the musician he knew he could never have again.

Today was just another day in the shelter. Cameron hadn’t been able to sleep last night so instead of procrastinating around the house he shared with his grandma, he came into work extra-early to get all the jobs done for the day, meaning he, Ryan and his grandma Isla were standing in the front of the shop. And they were talking about Cameron’s growing depression.

“I wish I didn’t have to say I told you so,” Ryan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have expected him to remember me anyway. I’m no-one compared to him,” Cameron sighed.

“You are more than any boy deserves, don’t you dare think otherwise,” Cameron’s grandma Isla said firmly.

Cameron smiled weakly at her, shaking his head. If that were true, why hadn’t Martin come back? His fingers played with the dog tag necklace that Martin had given him, staring at a spot on the floor. Cameron had only taken this off if he was sleeping or showering. He promised Martin he’d look after it, and he was going to stick by that promise. Even if Martin didn’t stick to his.

“You know what? I’m going to call my cousin. He’ll kick Martin’s ass if no-one else does,” Ryan snapped, pulling out his cellphone.

Wait, what? No!

“Ryan, please don’t! It’s hard enough not having Martin here, I don’t want him forced to come back. He’s made his decision and I’ve got to respect that,” Cameron pleaded, holding onto Ryan’s wrist.

“Respect my ass,” Ryan grumbled, although he put his cellphone away.

Cameron couldn’t help but smile slightly, especially as Isla laughed too.

“Look Cam, why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Ryan and I can handle everything since you’ve already done most the work for today,” Isla announced softly.

“No, I’m alright grandma,” Cameron sighed, shaking his head.

“Alright, I’ll change my phrasing. You’re taking the rest of the day off whether you like it or not. So go, before I kick your skinny ass out of here,” Isla said firmly.

Cameron giggled but nodded, knowing he wouldn’t win. While he put his coat on, Ryan fetched Gunner, already having clipped his leash on by the time Cameron had grabbed all his stuff.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cameron nodded to his two closest friends.

Cameron got a hug from Ryan and kiss on his forehead from Isla before he left the building. With a sigh he held on tighter to Gunner’s leash as they walked down the sidewalk. This dog had a tendency to get too excited when he saw other dogs – something Cameron had to learn from experience, unfortunately. After half an hour of aimless walking, Cameron was ready to turn around to go back home, when he heard someone shouting his name. Someone familiar. Someone he didn’t believe he would hear again. Cameron quickly spun on his heels to see the person he had hoped, yet feared at the same time, was running towards him.

Martin.

“Cameron! Shit, I haven’t run like that in ages! Is that Gunner?” Martin rambled, finally reaching the younger boy.

“Y-Yeah, I kinda adopted him a-after you left,” Cameron managed to stammer,

“He’s grown,” Martin said fondly.

Cameron stared in amazement as Martin crouched down to stroke the pug puppy, still in shock that Martin was even in front of him after so long of believing he’d never see him again. When Martin stood up again with a broad smile on his face, Cameron snapped out of his trance.

“You’re here. You’re actually here. You came back! I can’t believe it! Why are you back?” Cameron asked.

“What do you mean why? I promised you that I’d come back,” Martin frowned.

“Your tour ended a whole month ago, Martin. I didn’t hear from you for 4 months so what do you expect?” Cameron pouted.

Now Martin was confused.

“I had to visit my dad after tour ended. I haven’t seen him in ages and we’re really close, so I couldn’t pass up seeing him. I asked John to tell Ryan to tell you I would be late back! And I asked John to pass messages to Ryan to pass to you throughout the tour! You obviously didn’t notice that we never swapped phone numbers, but I swear I asked John to pass messages on!” Martin insisted.

Cameron was going to kill Ryan if this is true.

“I never got a message. Why would Ryan lie?” Cameron frowned.

“I kinda already know Ryan. His cousin is in my band, I’m guessing you know that much, but he also used to date Paul, who’s also in my band. When he was with Paul, I wasn’t exactly the nicest of guys when it came to dating. I would generally fuck then chuck without any guilt, and that’s why Ryan doesn’t like me – he thinks I’m still that horrible person! But I’m not, I swear. I wasn’t with another person for the entirety of the 4 months,” Martin told him.

That would explain Ryan’s dislike, but it still wasn’t fair – Cameron wasn’t a kid anymore, he could make his own decisions! Nevertheless, it still hurt that he hadn’t heard from Martin, whether or not it had been Martin’s fault at all.

“I thought you’d forgotten me,” Cameron said sadly, looking down at the ground.

He inhaled sharply as Martin cupped his cheeks and tilted his head back up to look at him.

“I thought about you every day on tour. There was no way I could forget such a beautiful person like you,” Martin said sweetly, stroking his thumb across Cameron’s cheek.

Cameron blushed a little, but he wasn’t going to give in that easily. He was still hurt.

“I-I still have your granddaddy’s tags. I never let them out of my sight,” Cameron said quietly, reaching under his coat and t-shirt to pull the necklace over his head.

But Martin stopped him from taking the necklace off, resting his hand over Cameron’s in a way that made his skin tingle.

“Keep looking after them for me. I want to know that they’re always safe and I know they will be with you,” Martin said with a small smile.

Cameron bit his bottom lip to hide his own smile, still not wanting to give into Martin. Even though it was getting harder by the second.

“How did you find me?” Cameron asked, changing the subject again.

“Well I went into the shelter only to see who I quickly learnt was your grandma. As soon as I told her who I was she said that you’d left about half an hour ago. I started panicking, so she said that all you do is walk straight until you get bored, and then turn back around to walk back. So I started running and obviously caught up with you,” Martin explained.

His grandma had told Martin how to find him? He was so sure that she hated Martin for how he made Cameron feel. So sure.

“I’m surprised she didn’t bite your head off for how I’ve been acting. I’ve been so...miserable. I’ve literally been a wreck. Everyone thought I was going crazy,” Cameron laughed weakly.

Martin frowned at those words. He would never want Cameron to feel unwanted, and he hated that he’d been so unhappy. But he was going to change all that.

“Well I’m back now and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a break from tour for 6 months, and I plan on spending as much of that time with you as possible,” Martin smiled, his fingers playing with the ends of Cameron’s black hair.

“You really mean that?” Cameron asked.

“Of course I do. Obviously I don’t expect you to just stop being hurt all of a sudden, but I do promise I’ll make it up to you. I really like you Cameron, and nothing has changed in my heart since I left,” Martin said warmly.

“What if I said I didn’t want you anymore?” Cameron said quietly.

Martin froze at those words, not being able to process them? Cameron didn’t want him? B-But Martin had come back! Martin hadn’t forgotten him, just like he promised!

“I-I really hope that isn’t true, C-Cam. Please say it isn’t true?” Martin choked.

“I started to think about getting over you. Moving on from the hurt you made me feel,” Cameron mumbled.

“Oh God, Cameron please! I’m sorry okay! Please don’t move on from me! I spent 4 months going crazy without you – you can’t leave me like that!” Martin exasperated, moving one of his hands from Cameron’s face to clutch at Cameron’s waist, bunching his coat in his fist.

“I-I don’t want to move on from you Martin. But my trust isn’t going to come back easily,” Cameron said, biting his lip.

“I’ll work for it,” Martin said quickly, his eyes wide and sincere.

Cameron smiled slightly, not having any reason to doubt Martin at all. If Martin was going to work for his trust again, Cameron was going to let him.

“Okay. I’d like that,” Cameron nodded, smiling even more.

Martin grinned and moved his other hand to loop in Cameron’s hair, pressing their lips together firmly. Cameron giggled into Martin’s mouth, making him moan softly, before eagerly kissing back, clearly having missed their embrace just as much as Martin had. Cameron kept a tight hold on Gunner’s leash as he wrapped his arms around Martin’s waist, pulling the older boy’s body close to his as he slipped his tongue past Martin’s lips, Martin moaning again. Cameron couldn’t help but giggle once more as he pulled away, resting his forehead against Martin’s.

“Someone’s happy to see me,” Cameron teased.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Martin grumbled, embarrassed.

Cameron didn’t need to be told twice. Without another thought he crashed their lips together again, the kiss this time fiery and desperate. Martin breathed in deeply through his nose as he clutched Cameron even tighter to his body, never wanting to let him go again, especially not after how close he came to losing him. As their kiss quickly heated up, their lips moved faster and their hands groped at each other’s bodies, Martin’s hands under Cameron’s shirt and Cameron’s hands slightly down Martin’s jeans, squeezing his ass. It was lucky that this street was fairly deserted. Cameron soon found Martin’s tongue in his mouth, fervently massaging Cameron’s tongue with his own in a way that made Cameron’s head spin. No-one had ever been able to get these reactions from his body like Martin did, and that thought alone made Cameron’s desire soar. With that, Cameron broke away from Martin’s kiss with a soft groan, although Martin’s lips travelled along his jaw and down his neck, licking, sucking and torturing his pale flesh. Cameron whimpered as he felt himself start to harden, a noise that made Martin stop what he was doing. Was this something that Cameron didn’t want?

“Is something wrong, Cam?” Martin asked, worried that he ruined his last chance.

“N-No, it’s just that I have an excitable dog on a leash around my wrist and we’re in public,” Cameron pointed out, his lips slightly swollen like Martin’s were.

All Martin found himself doing was grinning, making Cameron blush a little.

“Well in that case, how about we take Gunner to your house, and then you can come to mine?” Martin suggested, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Cameron didn’t even know that an eyebrow could be raised suggestively, but he sure as hell liked the effect it had on his body.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Cameron said with a wide smile.

Martin pressed one last hard, fast kiss to Cameron’s lips before untangling their bodies and linking his hand with Cameron’s free one.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Martin said softly as they started walking.

“I’ve missed you too,” Cameron replied shyly.

And he couldn’t wait to show Martin just how much.