Baby, We're Like a Time Bomb

I could feel the letter slipping between my fingers. Why didn’t I read it when she gave it to me? If I had I could have stopped her and things would have been so different.

I rushed out of the house and to the hotel I knew Jasey was staying at. I almost broke down the door off her room when she didn’t opened it fast enough. “Calm down, I’m coming!” I heard her yell. The door opened, revealing a very surprise and slightly confused Jasey. “Alex? What…”

Without thinking I scooped her up and kissed her. “I’m sorry Jasey, I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid for not reading your letter sooner. Please forgive me.” I begged.

“Alex!” Jasey said. “Alex calm down. What are you talking about?” We sat down on the bed. “That letter you gave me years ago. I just read it, I never could bring myself to read it sooner, because I was afraid what it would say. I wished I’d known Jasey, you know I would have stopped you from marrying the guy.” Then it hit me, she was married.

“Shit I’m sorry Jasey. I forgot you’re married. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I….” But I was cut off by Jasey’s lips pressing against mine. “I didn’t go through with it.” She smiled once she pulled away. “What happened?”

“When you didn’t show up I had every intension to marry Chase, but when I was standing next to him at the altar I realized something, I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. I didn’t care if you loved me or not, because I did love you. That’s why I said no, well I didn’t exactly say no, I actually ran.”

“You ran!?” She giggled at my expression. “Yep, it just didn’t feel right, marrying someone who wasn’t you, so I ran, leaving Chase standing at the altar. My first thought when I was out of the church was going to find you, but then I remembered you never came, so I moved to England, to study photography.” “I’m not even surprised, you always did love taking pictures.” I mused.

“So, you’re marrying Sofia.” Jasey asked. “How did you guys meet?” I blushed, I wasn’t exactly proud of that story. “After I found out you were marrying Chase I simply didn’t care anymore. Every night I went to a bar or club, got completely smashed and every morning I woke up in some girls bed. After six weeks of that things… got worse….. I won’t go into details, but it involves me, a lot of booze, a shitload of pills and I…. might have overdosed on both.” I told her reluctantly. “You what!” Jasey yelled in shock. “Alex what were you thinking?”

“Shh, don’t worry. It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I was fine.” I told her. “Anyways, I realized I couldn’t keep doing this so I tried to get my life back together. I had the numbers of a couple of girls I slept with. Sofia just happened to be the lucky one that I actually called back. We started to hang out more and official started dating after a couple of months. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. I proposed 6 months ago. Something I still regret every single day.”

“Don’t say that Alex.” Jasey whispered, placing her hand on mine. “You moved on, I get it. I mean you must love her in a way, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked her to marry her.” “I don’t know if it’s love, but I guess I do care about her. I just wanted to make her happy, so I proposed.” I confessed. “That’s good and I’m sure in time you’ll grow to love her Alex, you just have to let me go.” She whispered.

I grabbed her hand tightly. “I don’t want to let you go Jasey, I can’t.” “Yes Alex you can. You have too, for both of us.” She whispered. “So, how did you do it?” I asked. “How did I do what?” Jasey sounded a little confused. “How did you managed to let go of me?”

Jasey didn’t answer, but looked down at the bed. I softly stroke her hand when I realized something. She was wearing a ring. I lifted her hand to take a better look and froze. The ring was not just a ring, but an engagement ring, the ring I gave her years ago. The ring I gave her after I proposed to her that summer to be exact.

“Jasey….” She finally met my gaze. “I didn’t.” She whispered. “I’ve never been able to let you go, or move on or to forget about you even.”

She looked so heartbroken, I just wanted to hold her and never let her go. Instead I leaned forward, our lips only millimeters apart. I could feel her hot breath on my lips before I closed the space between us.

I pushed her back on the bed and hovered over her, my lips moving from her lips to her neck, to the buttons of her dress. Slowly opening it with short flicks of my fingers I removed it from her body, leaving a trace of kissed down her stomach.

Minutes later our clothes were shattered around the room and the only sound were our heavy breathing and the moans and groans that slipped from our lips, mixed with the sound of Jasey screaming my name ever so often.

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The next morning I woke up in a unfamiliar hotel room with Jasey’s naked body curled up against my own. I pressed a soft kiss against her lips to wake her up. “Morning beautiful.” I whispered when her eyes fluttered open. “Morning Alex.” She smiled at me, but it dropped seconds later. “Alex what about….” She started, but I silenced her with a kiss. “Shh, don’t think about that. You and me, that’s all that matters right now. Let’s just enjoy this moment.” She nodded and didn’t say anything, just wrapped her arms around me.

We simply laid there for what felt like hours, watching the sun come up through the glass balcony door, sharing a kiss every now and then.

After god knows how long I looked at the clock. Jasey followed my gaze and sighed. “You’re getting married in a couple of hours.” She whispered. “Maybe….” I muttered. “Maybe?” She sat up a little. “What do you mean maybe?” I sat up too. “I mean that I might not marry her, it depends.” “On what?” “On you.” Jasey’s eyes went wide. “Run away with me.” I asked softly. “Let get away from here, just you and me. I love you Jasey, I wanna be with you.” I begged.

Jasey shook her head. “Alex that’s insane. What about your band? What about Sofia?” I shrugged. “Sofia will get over it eventually and we’re not leaving forever, we’ll go back after were married.”

“Married? What the hell Alex.” Jasey was starting to get angry. “We’re not 18 anymore, we can do something stupid like that anymore, not without some serious consequences anyways. And besides Sofia is my cousin, I might not like her that much, but she’s still family. ”

“Jasey please.” I tried again. “I don’t care about all that. I love you, I want you.”

She sighed. “I love you Alex too, what we had was wonderful and more than I could even dare to ask for, but it’s over. We had so many chances and it never works out. Sofia loves you and you have to love her in some way, at least enough to consider to marry her. We’re not teenagers anymore babe, we both have our separate lives. I think it’s best if we pretend these last few days never happened and just go on living our lives like we have for the past 3 years.”

Hearing her say those word broke my heart. This hurt even more than that time I saw her with Chase. Because this time she actually said she didn’t want me anymore.

“Jasey I’m begging you, please don’t give up on us. Right now all I’m asking you is to think about it, think of what we could have.” I tried to convince her one last time.

Jasey finally gave in. “Fine, I’ll think about it. But I have one request.” “Anything.” “Just leave me alone for now, I need time to think about this.” I nodded. “I will. But how will I know what you decide before the wedding?” Jasey thought about it for a minute. “The church, I’ll see you there anyways. Don’t go looking for me, I’ll find you.”

I agreed and got dressed. I kissed her one last time before I left the room. “I love you Jasey, I’ll see you soon.” “Bye Alex.” And she closed the door.

I went back home to do the only thing I could…. wait.