Our Broken Reality

She had a smile on her face and it surprised him. He wasn’t used to seeing that expression on her face. Sometimes it seemed like she didn’t even know how to smile. They were opposites on most accounts. They were two people who shouldn’t fit together but somehow did anyway. While he was optimistic, hyper, and genuinely happy…she was pessimistic, quiet, and genuinely sad. It wasn’t her fault and Brendon understood that. She hadn’t had the easiest life and things were kind of difficult for her. That’s why he always did his best to make her feel better when he was with her.

She had a wonderful smile and when she was in this mood her hazel green tint eyes sparkled in the light. He very much enjoyed seeing her like this. It was rare for her to be cheerful and he was going to try to keep it this way, enjoying every second of it. “You look beautiful darling,” he said, taking her pale hand in his and kissing it. She giggled. “Is that a new dress?”

She shook her head. “I just never wore it before.”

“It looks lovely.”

“Thank you.”

“Care for a dance?” he asked.

“Of course,” she nodded and followed him to an open space on the floor. He placed his arms around her small frame and they swayed as he sang. She loved his voice more than anything and he knew it. She once said it made her feel safe.

The grin stayed on her face as she let him lead the dance. She usually felt self conscious about her lack of grace, had always been awkward on her feet, but when she was with him all she could focus on was him. He made her laugh and she forgot about all of her worries.

She leaned in closer and their hips touched. He took her hand and spun her around before pulling her back into his arms. The dress showed off her thin body and round chest. She didn’t have hips or curves but she was perfect to him.

When he stopped singing he stood there and gazed at her for a moment, her hands on his waist. She was very touchy with him. It wasn’t a sexual thing; it was just how she was. It was how she showed her affection. She cared about him and she liked to feel that contact...to feel his warmth. He didn’t mind at all.

She was still very bouncy and happy. He took her over to the piano and they sat on the bench together. “I’ve been writing a new song, would you like to hear it?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes please!”

His eyes closed and he focused on the glossy keys. It wasn’t a whole song but to his relief she approved. She clapped when he finished. “It’s amazing,” she told him.

“You think all my music is amazing,” he teased.

“Because it is,” she replied.

“Let’s hear some of your music.”

She shook her head in protest. “No.”

“Please,” he begged, sticking his lower lip out in an irresistible pout.

“I don’t know what to play.”

“Let me see those beautiful piano playing fingers,” he took her hand and placed it on the instrument. Her fingers were long just like the rest of her limbs. She wasn’t tall but it gave her the illusion of height. He told her that she was born to play piano with fingers like those but she just thought it was awkward.

Finally she played music for him because she couldn’t resist and he grinned. She played from somewhere deep in her heart. She had a talent for it since she was a small child and found a used keyboard at a garage sale. It’s the only instrument she was good at and it was the only one she needed. She sang quietly with the piano. Her voice was nowhere near as good as his but he loved it nonetheless.

When his friend arrived they were still together. They were on the couch fooling around. He was tickling her. He was the only one allowed to do that. She squirmed and laughed which made him laugh too. Then he just leaned in and looked her in the eye. They both smiled. She always looked at him like he was the most incredible thing she ever saw, like he was the sun itself to her, and it made him feel really special.

Finally he pressed his lips to hers. Her arms found their place around him and so did her legs. All tangled up in each other, they stayed there exchanging butterfly kisses until the other boy arrived. He frowned at them so both of them sat up quickly. She blushed lightly and bounced a little on the couch, giggling. “It’s time to go,” the older boy announced, looking back and forth from the two people seriously.

“Do I have to?” she asked, her smile turning upside down.

“Yes, you know you do,” he nodded.

She sighed then turned to embrace the boy beside her. “I don’t want to go back there. I’ll be sad again. Reality is no fun.”

“I know but you can come back soon,” he promised sympathetically.

“I will miss you.”

“You always miss me no matter how long it is that we’re separated.”

“Because I love you,” she replied.

“And I love you too but it’s time to go now,” he pulled her to her feet and pushed her short brown hair behind her ear. On this particular day she had worn a red bow in it. It made her look young and innocent. She was young but not innocent. She had seen too much, experienced too much, in her short life to be innocent. She did look adorable though…or at least, he thought she did.

“Okay,” she nodded understandingly. She leaned up on her tiptoes and they kissed one last time before she hurried away into the night.

“I wish she didn’t have to leave,” the boy sighed.

“She doesn’t live here. She has to face reality sometimes,” his friend explained.

“Why? Reality is cruel. She deserves better.”

The older boy shrugged. “That may be true but it’s her life and we have to let her live it. We can’t protect her from everything.”

“At least she was happy.”

“That wasn’t our girl. She may have looked happy but it was only a temporary shift. It’s going to take a long time before things are completely better.”

“Then she might not need us, right?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. She loves you so maybe she’ll come back.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll get through it together.”

“I love her. I want her to come back,” the younger one protested.

“You think you love her. She thinks she loves you. But in my experience, there’s a thin line between loving someone and needing them. Sometimes people get those things confused.”

“She’ll come back,” the boy crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. “I know she will.”

“Believe what you want but someday you’re going to have to face reality too,” and with that he left the younger boy standing alone in the middle of the living room with the moon light shining on his pale face and the single tear running down it.