Telescope Eyes

“Was it cool?” The little boy asked. His eyes were wide in wonder and his tiny hands were propped up under his chin as he stared at the computer screen that was propped up on his bed.

“You have no idea, buddy. There were so many lions, they roar so loud,” Eric replied with a smile on his face. He gestured to the screen, “I just sent Mama a picture, why don’t you ask her to see it.”

Colton looked at her with an excited grin as Micah sat down and pulled him on to her lap. She opened the picture message of the lion that Eric had sent her earlier that day and she smiled as her son gasped in amazement.

“It’s so big!” He exclaimed. “Did you get to pet it?”

Eric laughed, “No you silly goose! He would have attacked me.”

Colton started giggling before laying back on his belly and bombarding Eric with more questions about the zoo trip he had taken on his day off with the guys in Australia. He made sure to send them tons of photos and in one he was even petting a sting ray.

Micah smiled as she conversed with the two boys who she considered her family. They talked for about an hour longer when Colton started yawning. The little boy said his good nights and she tucked him in with a kiss to the forehead before going back to the living room where Eric was waiting on skype.

“Mmm finally, alone time,” Eric said sarcastically, looking at Nick over his shoulder and telling him to go away so that he could ‘spend some uninterrupted time with his woman.’

Micah laughed and shook her head, looking at the boy. His hair was messy and he looked tired—but God, you could just tell that he was happy. He loved what he was doing and she could never ask for anything more. “I can’t believe you’ve only been gone for a week,” she sighed, resting her hand on her chin like Colton was doing just a few moments ago.

“One week down—

“Three months to go,” Micah said simply with a frown on her lips.

Eric’s lips turned into a downward slant, “Are you doing all right?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “I mean, I miss you a lot, but I’m fine.”

“Have you heard from John?”

Micah sighed and looked into Eric’s worried eyes, “No. Have you?”

“No,” he breathed. He ran a hand through his hair. “Micah, I’ve thought about it over and over again and I just don’t know what to do…it was a lot easier to talk about it—to plan it out so that we had some sense of control you know?”

She nodded her head in complete agreement, covering her face in her hands, “He comes home tomorrow.”

Eric looked depressed as he looked into the camera lens, “Baby, I’m so sorry I don’t know what would be best to do…I wish I knew what to say.”

Micah gave him a weak smile, “Don’t be sorry…this is my mess. I’ll take care of it somehow. I always find a way.”

Halvo chuckled, “You’re a good talker that’s how you always find your way. You can talk me out of anything I swear.”

She laughed, “I’m very persuasive.”

“You can say that again.”

Micah looked at his picture again, missing him more as his smile widened as he realized that she was simply watching him. “Come home to me soon, Eric,” she said softly, watching as his green eyes softened.

“I promise, love,” he said back with a genuine smile. “I have to go now.”

She nodded her head and blew a small kiss at her webcam, “I love you.”

Eric’s cheeks blushed ever so gently and his lips broke out in a small smirk, “I love you too. Night, Mic, call me if you need anything; anything at all.”

“Promise,” Micah grinned before logging off of her computer and shutting it. She lay back onto her bed and let out a sigh and closing her eyes.

The house was so quiet without Eric—it felt empty. She hated that her son didn’t have a father figure around and that at night he would come into her room to cuddle with her, crying that he missed Eric. It truly made her feel like a horrible parent.

Knock, knock, knock.

Micah sat up in her sheets and her heart started pounding. Her first thought was Eric, hoping that maybe it was a surprise—but she knew better than that. Her mother and friends would call. That only left one person…why was he here early?

Micah walked over to the door quickly and took a deep breath before trying to calm her thoughts. She took a final breath before gaining confidence enough to open the door—and she was surprised when she did.

“Shelly?”

The girl looked so broken—as broken as Micah was sure she looked the night she appeared on Eric’s doorstep as well. The brunette’s hair was a wreck and her makeup was dripping down her cheeks, one of which was covered in a flowering bruise. Her shirt was ripped across the middle showing most of her stomach and her sweat pants were tight on her too thin legs.

“Micah,” the girl cried instantly falling into her open arms. Micah shushed the girl and brought her inside sitting her down on the couch as the young girl sobbed. “I-I’m so sorry I had nowhere else to go…and I remembered you said you were coming here and I just ran—Mic I’m so sorry.”

“Baby girl, don’t be sorry. Come on, let’s get you in the shower, kay?”

Micah led the girl to the bathroom and gave her a pair of clean clothes to borrow before laying down on her and Eric’s bed and closing her eyes and taking a deep breath pretending that Eric was there with her to keep her strong.

Shelly came out a few minutes later in the borrowed sweats and hoodie, her hair wrapped in a towel. Her red eyes were puffy and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. She took a seat on the bed next to Micah and sighed. “I had to get out, Micah—they were trying to get me into prostitution…that’s not what I signed up for,” Shelly sighed, closing her eyes, obviously trying to hold back tears. “The men can beat you when you go into that, you know?”

Micah frowned as she looked at her friend, “Did you ever…?”

“Once,” Shelly whispered. “I went to one client only…he was breathtaking Micah. He told me he loved me—then I found out about his wife.”

“Oh Shell,” she whispered, instantly forgetting about her own problems and focusing on her friend. “Did he do this to you?”

The brunette nodded her head, “I-I told him…”

Micah looked at her friend nervously as she ceased her speaking, “What? What’s wrong Shell…?”

“I’m pregnant, Micah,” she cried, covering her face in her hands.

“Oh baby girl,” she sighed, pulling her friend into a tight hug. “Shh, it’s going to be okay.”

Shelly looked at her with bloodshot eyes, “Will you come with me…?”

Micah bit her lip nervously, having a feeling to where this conversation was leading, “To what, Shell?”

“I need an abortion.”

*

Micah sat in the driver’s seat, tapping her fingers softly against the steering wheel trying to get the feeling of nausea from her body. She had taken Colton to her mother’s, making sure to give him the biggest hug she could before she got back into the car with Shelly to take her down to the clinic.

She felt like a bad mother—she wasn’t even sure why, but she did.

She couldn’t imagine how different she would be without Colton—a huge part of her would be missing; the best part of her. He was her world.

Micah parked the car and took a deep breath before looking over at her friend who was staring down at her lap and biting her nails. “Are you ready?” She asked gently.

Shelly nodded her head shakily and her lips mouthed an almost silent, “Yeah.”

They walked into the small building silently, avoiding each other’s eyes. Micah didn’t approve—it was obvious to her friend too without even speaking the words aloud. The room was white, pure white and God it was so cold. An involuntary chill ran up her spine as the air hit her. There were a few women sitting in chairs waiting—some with small bellies that were barely beginning to show, others still not showing at all. Magazines littered the tables adorning women with bodies too skinny to be real.

Micah gulped before sitting down in a chair, the cold hitting her short clad legs. She tapped her foot nervously, looking at all of the women in the room. Some were young, barely looking legal, but one woman looked as if she was almost thirty years old.

Micah picked up a Cosmo and began reading through tips on how to spice up her and Eric’s sex life, even chuckling at how happy he would be to try some of the stuff. Shelly fell into the seat next to her a few minutes later with a soft thud. Micah followed her friend’s eyes to the children’s magazine on the table her eyes softening as she watched Shelly’s forming tears.

“What made you keep Colton?” The brunette asked, her voice monotone.

Micah thought back to the day she found out she was pregnant—she could still feel the fear in her chest from that day. “I went to the doctor for a checkup and she explained to me everything that would be happening…how soon he would have a heartbeat and nails…a belly button. My doctor just made me realize that something was there alive inside of me and that it was a gift.”

“Are you happy you kept him?” Shelly whispered.

Micah nodded her head quickly, a smile ghosting her lips, “Colton was the best thing that has ever happened to me, Shell. He was so cute when he was born…and now, he’s so funny. And even though times have been rough for the both of us I wouldn’t take back a single day. He makes me better—as a mom, and just a person. He’s my rock.”

“But considering how hard everything it was don’t you just think it would have been easier if you had gotten…rid of him?” The girl gulped, obviously trying to tell herself this was the right choice.

“It may have been a whole hell of a lot easier,” she replied. “But everything I have gone through is worth it. I can’t imagine my life being any different. I love being a mom, I love being his mom.” Shelly stared at the baby on the front of the magazine in front of them with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Shell, you can do it…I believe you, you could be a great mom,” Micah said sweetly.

“What if I’m not though…what if I’m like my mom?” The girl said through soft cries.

“You’re not your mother, baby girl. You care—I can tell, that’s already more than she did,” she replied, knowing well of Shelly’s mother that left her when she was twelve with her abusive father. “I’ll help you…you can stay with me. Eric will be gone for a few months and I’ll be there.”

Shelly nodded her head softly before grabbing Micah’s hand, “Let’s get out of here, please.”

*

“Go fishin’ Shelly!” Colton giggled, pointing at the woman across from him that was sitting on the floor. Micah laughed watching as her son made sure that the girl drew her cards and wasn’t cheating.

“You’re seriously killing me at this game, kiddo,” Shelly laughed, glancing over at Micah.

Colton shrugged his little shoulders and his lips pulled into a smirk that made her heart pound a little quicker, “Mama says I’m really smart for my age.”

“Your Mama is right,” the girl grinned, before continuing the game.

Micah was going through boxes of old baby onesies that she could give to Shelly for her new baby. They were all pretty neutral colors luckily. As she held the small outfits in her hands and looked at her four year old sitting there with his smirk she felt tears starting in her eyes. It seemed such a short time ago that he was just a baby, wrapping his tiny fingers against her larger ones.

She remembered when he was born and how for months after she would hold him for hours and just stare at him, amazed at the beauty she had made. He was just so cute and fragile…depending on her for everything. She took him everywhere she went, not using the nanny her mother hired. She never wanted to be away from him—he was a part of her.

Colton went into his bedroom to change into his pajamas and Shelly took a seat next to Micah on the couch. “Thank you, Mic,” she smiled. “Seriously…I just, I would have regretted that.”

Micah nodded her head with a sympathetic grin, “I know you would have. Being a mother is really unlike any other feeling—it’s amazing.”

“Colton is a good kid,” Shelly said honestly. “He looks so much like you.”

She smiled, “He looks a lot like his father too.”

“John?” Micah nodded her head and grabbed a picture off of the table beside the couch pointing to the lanky boy that was posing with her and her boyfriend in high school. “Jesus,” Shelly chuckled. “He really does. He has his eyes.”

She sighed, “His eyes were my favorite thing about him in all of high school—they still are my favorite thing. The way they have gold specs in them in certain lighting…I’m glad Colton has them.”

“You love him still,” Shelly said seriously, with a small smile.

“What?” Micah asked, appalled. She had no feelings for John—her mind was on Eric. “I mean, John and I just have a long past you know…”

Her friend nodded her head and chuckled softly, “Whatever you say.”

Shelly excused herself to go to bed which for now was Colton’s bedroom; he was just sleeping with her in Eric’s. After she was sure her friend was in bed she snuck back out to the living room with one of Eric’s sweaters, holding it tightly to her chest. She sent him a quick text begging him to come home before laying back on the couch and staring up at the ceiling.

What would have been different if she hadn’t have had Colton? If she had given him up for adoption? She wouldn’t have become a stripper. Maybe she would have graduated college at Arizona State with her high school friends. Maybe she’d be with Eric right now.

But she wouldn’t know of her strength. She wouldn’t know the sweet feeling of a child crawling into bed with you at night because they genuinely believe that you can protect them, that you’re some sort of invincible. She never would have known true, selfless love of a baby.

Micah felt her heart jump as she listened to a soft tapping on her door. A chill ran down her spine and her pulse was racing. She walked over it quietly, before opening it and staring at her visitor silently.

His eyes had black circles beneath them and his hair looked like it hadn’t been washed for a week, which it probably hadn’t. He was moving his fingers anxiously and tapping his foot as he stared at her.

“John—

“Tell me everything,” he said quickly, his eyes holding a need.

“Now isn’t a good time,” she responded softly, trying not to anger him and keeping her voice low.

John scoffed, “When the fuck would be a convenient time for you then Micah?!”

“A time when my child isn’t trying to sleep in the room next to door to us; your yelling will wake him up,” Micah seethed, putting her hands on her hips. “And please watch your language.”

John’s eyes softened and it was like in that instant it all became real for him, like he finally understood how her life had changed and how much his was about to. He looked at her and she could see the fear. “Tomorrow?”

She simply nodded her head before shutting the door, “Tomorrow.”