Telescope Eyes

“And then he was like,” Eric’s sentence stopped as he burst out in a drunken giggle. “He was like…shit…Micah I forgot what he was like!”

Micah huffed and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend’s slurred words. She had tried to get off the phone seven times already but he insisted on telling her stories that he was pathetically only getting halfway through. She seriously thought about hanging up, but somehow just hearing his voice was enough to keep her on the line—even if he was annoying her to no end.

“Eric, I really have to go,” she said softly, trying to keep her voice calm although he was balancing on a fine thread with her right now.

“No you don’t, I make the money for us, just sit your pretty ass down and listen to me,” he slurred.

“You make the money?” Micah scoffed. “That’s why I’ve been working crazy hours on end just to pay for daycare alone? And to feed us?”

“Whose place are you staying at for free right now, Micah?” Eric mumbled angrily. Colton looked up at Micah with his shirt unbuttoned asking for help. She balanced her phone with her shoulder as she helped the little boy who was running his fingers through his untidy hair.

“I get that, Eric,” she seethed. “I never once took that for granted, but I work and have worked my butt off for years too and I would like to see that appreciated.”

“Working in a strip club isn’t exactly hard work,” he replied shortly.

“Neither is playing a stupid guitar in an overrated pop-punk band,” Micah said. “Go to sleep and do not call me back, jerk.” She closed her phone and through it on the couch, sighing as she looked down at her son. “Thank you for getting ready, baby.”

“Was that…Eric?” Colton asked, making sure to not say dad.

She nodded her head, “Yeah, he’ll call you later okay?”

The little boy nodded his head with a smile and went into his bedroom to put his shoes on before they went to the park. Micah frowned as she heard her phone ringing from the couch. She picked it up. “Yes, I meant it when I said your band was overrated,” She said simply.

“Excuse me?” The voice said.

“Shit, uh,” she looked at the caller I.D. and frowned when she realized it wasn’t Eric. “Hey John, uh…hey,” she said lamely.

“Hi,” he responded simply, leaving a silence before he spoke again. “Where do you want to meet?”

Micah shoved a water bottle and some snacks into her purse, checking the time to see that it was nearly two thirty. “Well, I promised Colton I would take him to the park…maybe after—

“I’ll meet you there,” John said forcefully. “The one by the high school?”

“Yeah,” Micah said nervously. She wasn’t ready for them to meet, but honestly what choice did she have; he was his child after all.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon, bye.”

Micah dropped her phone onto the couch, her body following it down soon enough. This was it, this was the moment. Soon, everything would be laid out.

Was it safe to tell him everything? She wasn’t sure.

“Mom, I am ready!” Colton smiled placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest like a little superhero.

She smiled, instantly forgetting her troubles and looking at her son. She stood up and ruffled his hair and within twenty minutes they were at the park. She sat at a table that was next to the playground, smiling to herself as Colton made friends with a little girl and they chased each other around the playground.

Micah picked at the wood on the table in front of her, knowing Colton was okay just by hearing his laugh from the few hundred feet away. She took a deep breath as combat boots came into her vision and his voice filled the air.

“Hey,” he said softly, nerves in his voice.

Micah looked up from the table and into his green eyes, “Hey.”

John sat down across from her and rested his tanned elbows on the table, looking anywhere but her. After a few awkward moments of John opening and then closing his mouth wordlessly, he finally got the courage to speak. “When did you find out?” He asked with his voice low.

“A month after I got to Vegas,” she replied. She would answer his questions, but she wasn’t adding any extra details. She didn’t need to relive it, but she wasn’t sure how easy he was going to let her off—he really shouldn’t let her off at all. She deserved this.

“How could you not call me?” John asked incredulously, irritation in his voice.

“John—

“No, Micah! I thought we were better than that. I thought we agreed to stay friends—best friends. Best friends tell each other everything! Even if we weren’t friends this is still something you don’t hide! You can’t just do that to me. This is my life we’re talking about!” He yelled angrily.

Micah took a deep breath and closed her eyes before looking at him again. “July 7. You were in Chicago. It was your third night of tour. Your first tour; no, I didn’t think I should have told you.”

“So what if I was on tour? I still had a phone,” he argued, completely missing her point.

“Do you remember the night that you found out about the tour, John?” She asked, her lips in a tight line.

“Of course I do,” he answered quickly. “I went to your house immediately.”

“It was all you talked about for months, John,” Micah replied. “You were more excited for that than graduation. If I would have told you I can promise you that you would have come home.”

“Good! I should have been home. I should have been with you,” John said, his voice cracking.

She looked into his eyes and she could see how hurt he was—but god, he just didn’t understand. It wasn’t as easy as he was making it seem. “You needed to be on the road, John. You needed to be out there figuring you out, finding yourself, doing what you love. You’ve always been dreaming about living this life. I wasn’t about to take that away from you,” Micah said softly, a tear falling down her cheek. “You love what you do, John. You can’t just give up what you love.”

“I would have loved you, Micah,” John seethed. “I would have loved Colton. I would have loved our family.”

Micah felt a tear slip down her cheek. There were so many nights that he didn’t know about when she would call him and hang up before the dial would go through. She wanted to be selfish and make him suffer with her—but she couldn’t. He had already been through enough as it was since that night…he needed his escape and she was going to let him have it.

John took a deep breath and he rested his forehead against the back on his hands that were on the wooden table. He sat like that for a few minutes, not understanding but trying his best to. He had so many questions but he didn’t know where to begin—and some he wasn’t sure if he wanted to even know.

“John, I’m sorry,” Micah said gently, tears falling down her cheeks. “But I don’t regret a thing. You need to be out there—I-I didn’t want you to have to find out like that.”

John’s head shot up and tears were in his eyes as well, “You could have convinced me to stay on tour. You could always convince me of anything.”

She smiled softly and shook her head, “Who are you kidding? John, you’re an amazing guy…you would have been on the first flight to Vegas.”

He licked his lips and twiddled his fingers against each other nodding his head, “Yes, and I should have been. That was my…that was my son.”

“He still is your son,” she whispered, looking at his solemn features.

“Is he?” John asked wretchedly, his best friend coming into his mind. “Why did you tell Eric? Why did he get to know?”

Micah bit her lip; this was the question she had been dreading. “Eric,” she breathed, clearing her mind. “He was there for me, John. He was there because he cared. He called me when I left and I refused to answer once I found out about—and he just, he came down there and he found me. He found my address…borderline stalking really, but he found me, and he helped me.”

“But—

“Don’t be mad at him, John,” she said quickly, touching his hand. “He wanted to tell you—he was so angry at me for not…I just, I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to you. Hell, you and I weren’t even together, John. Everything was so…so messed up and it just, I don’t know.”

“So you just let him replace me?” John asked pointedly, his eyes glaring into her.

Micah felt her throat tighten, “He could never replace you, John, ever. It—it was just unintentional. He was there for me when I went to doctors visits, when I found out the sex, when all I could eat for an entire month was strawberries. He was there and when Colton was born everything just…fell into place. It was so much easier to pretend that everything was okay then realize it wasn’t and I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”

“When were you going to tell me?” He whispered, his face was contorted as if he feared the answer.

“I don’t know,” she replied shamefully, becoming accustomed to the silence that followed her horrid, but honest answers.

“Your mom,” John began taking a deep breath for confidence. “Does she think the baby is…is his?”

Micah licked her lips, “Yeah.”

“Wow,” he breathed closing his eyes and looking up at the sky. “Can this get any worse?”

“I’m sure it could,” she sighed, resting her head against the palm of her hand.

“How did you pay for everything? For a baby? Micah, how did you do it?” John said at all once, empathy replacing his anger. She was sure it was still there but for the moment it had subsided.

Micah glanced to the playground seeing that Colton was still smiling with the little girl before looking back to John. “I uh, I dropped out…and I started stripping…and now I’m here.”

“Crosby—

“I don’t need a lecture, John. I know what I was doing was dumb…but it’s done. It’s all done,” she sighed. He rapped his fingers against the table like a drum, nodding his head, “Any other questions?”

He looked up at her and nodded his head, “Where uh—where does this leave me? Me and you? Me and…Colton?”

Micah bit her lip, “Where do you want to be, John?”

His green eyes bore into hers and she could see his wheels turning. “I…I want to be a part of this. I want to know him,” he said. “I have one thing though…”

“What’s that, John?”

“I need to tell Addison…and my parents on my own time. I need to…figure all this out for myself, okay?” He said gently.

Micah agreed and nodded her head. Her chest felt like it was about to explode; John wanted to be a part of Colton’s life—he wanted to be there for him. Maybe Colton would finally get the life he deserved. They sat in silence together, nothing but the sounds of cars passing and children playing. Things were hardly solved but at least the truth was out and that was one step closer to a little bit of normalcy in her and Colton’s life.

Micah felt her phone buzzing in her pocket and she excused herself from John as she stepped away to take it. “Hello?”

She talked to Shelly for awhile. The girl was out grocery shopping and was asking about simple supplies before she asked concernedly about how things went with John. She gave her a brief overview before her thoughts were interrupted with a familiar cry. She turned over to the table she was at where a few feet away Colton was on his knees crying.

Micah hung up quickly and ran over, but not before John. She stopped in her tracks as she saw John coddling the little boy and shushing him out of instinct. They looked so much alike. Colton gave him a nervous look but he was nodding his head, obviously listening and after a few seconds he was giggling weakly.

She walked over to them quickly, once her bones regained strength and bent down to check his knees. They were bleeding from his tumble and so she carried him over to the table.

“It stings, Mama,” he whined, wiping tears from his green orbs.

“I know I know, but it’ll feel all better in a second, okay?” She said sweetly, getting out Neosporin from her purse along with Spiderman Band-Aids.

“Cool,” Colton whispered, looking at the design of Spiderman flying through the sky on webs. He smiled as Micah gave his cut a kiss, making it all feel better.

Colton looked up uneasily at John and Micah followed his gaze, feeling self conscious when she realized John’s eyes were watching her intently as if he were in awe of her.

“Colton, can you say hi to John? He’s been a very good friend to me since we were little and he’s going to be a very good friend of you too soon,” Micah said shakily, giving the little boy the okay to talk to the stranger.

“Hi, John,” Colton said politely, giving him a small smile. “Thank you for picking me up when I fell.”

John’s face looked in shock of the little boy’s manners. “No problem, bud,” he replied uncomfortably, his voice wavering.

Micah smiled at him reassuringly, nodding her head as if to tell him he did just fine. “Want to play for a little longer, kiddo?” She asked, giving her son a smile.

He nodded his head eagerly, blushing as he looked over to the little girl from earlier who was waiting for him in the sandbox. “Thanks, Mama. Bye John,” he said at once, skipping off.

Micah folded her hands and placed them on the table before looking back at John who was watching Colton intently. “He’s what—four?” John asked sadly.

“As of April, yes,” she replied, nodding her head.

“How…how do you talk to a four year old?” He asked nervously, his voice filling with stress. “Micah, I don’t know if I can do this…how do you even talk to a kid? I’ve never even been around kids his age, like ever.”

“What did you say to him when he fell?” She asked interestedly.

“I-I just asked if he was okay, and he told me that he was as tough as Batman and that little ‘boo boos’ don’t hurt,” John chuckled.

Micah smiled and shook her head, “He’s obsessed with superheroes.”

“As he should be!” John laughed, giving her a genuine smile before it faded. “Help me through this…please. I just, I know I can be a good dad, Crosby. I need some time though—I need your help.”

“Of course,” she smiled. “You wouldn’t have to ask me twice.”