Telescope Eyes

Micah’s head was spinning as soon as she woke up. She didn’t even have to open her eyes—her head was just literally throbbing. She groaned and stretched out her legs feeling an arm around her waist pull her tighter against the body behind her at her movements. She felt breath trickling on her bare shoulder and her eyes opened suddenly.

Why wasn’t she wearing a shirt? And why was she in John’s room?

She closed her eyes and tried to remember everything she could. She remembered the dance, and arriving at the party. She remembered dancing with Eric…and then fighting with him. And then her heart fell as she remembered him kissing Addie.

And then she and John kissed…but was that it? She was definitely wearing underwear and she could feel his boxers against her bare legs…they must’ve only kissed. God, what would Eric do if he found out? Did it matter anymore?—were they still even together?

Micah’s lips were in a frown and she chewed on her bottom lip out of anxiety. She shifted her focused when a chill ran down her spine as John’s lips brushed her bare shoulder softly. His hands squeezed her hips gently and turned her in his arms. As she turned to face him she noticed that he kept his eyes strictly on her eyes even though she wasn’t wearing a top (she still wasn’t quite sure where that had gone).

Micah gave him a weak smile as he looked at her sympathetically, pursing his lips. “How are you feeling?” He asked hoarsely.

She shrugged and rested her head against his chest, shutting her baby blues, “I’ve been a lot better.”

His warm hands ran up and down her back, soothing her silently. He chuckled softly, “What happened to your shirt?”

Micah looked up and laughed, her cheeks a bright red as she stared into his green eyes, “I have no idea! I was hoping you knew.”

“It was definitely on when we went to sleep,” He laughed roughly, his throat still coarse from just waking up.

“Did you rape me last night, O’Callaghan?” She giggled, narrowing her eyes at him.

John smirked and ran a hand through his messy hair, “Maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it? Come at me bro.”

“You’re icky,” Micah said childishly, wrinkling her nose.

He laughed, “Your morning breath is icky!”

She gasped and covered her mouth, her face turning as red as a tomato. She turned away from John feeling completely embarrassed. He was laughing behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her towards him once again and cupped her face with his hand.

He leaned in closely and Micah’s heart was beating a million miles per hour. Was he going to kiss her?—when they were sober?

Just as he was an inch from her lips John let out a deep breath, a foul stench covering Micah’s face. She scrunched her nose in detest as his laughter was booming in the quiet room.

“Your morning breath has to be the worst thing I’ve smelled in my entire life!” Micah giggled, covering her face and laughing, holding the sheet tight to her chest.

John was still laughing, his hands propped up behind his head. “Ah, that was enjoyable,” he sighed, giving her a wide grin.

“You’re ridiculous,” she chuckled, lying her chin on his chest and smiling up at him as he pulled her completely on top of him.

Her smirked as he lowered his eyes at her, “You realize you’re still not wearing a shirt right?”

Micah rolled her eyes, not letting her burning cheeks show. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“Correct,” John chuckled, placing his hands on her back again. “So, about last night—are you okay?”

She was pulled from her dreamland with his simple question. They may have been acting like a couple, but they weren’t. He may have been cuddling with her, but he still had another girl.

And fuck, she still had a guy.

Micah shrugged and pursed her lips, “I guess. Are you?”

Truth was, it hurt—it hurt like hell. Eric was supposed to love her and her only; not her best friend. He couldn’t give something up for her for one single night, and when she was gone he let his hormones control him; he was thinking with his dick and that was all.

John shrugged, “Addison and I have way more fights than you and Eric do, so I’m fine. I used to this kind of bull-shit, as sad as that is.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” she sighed, closing her eyes and resting her cheek against his warm skin. “I mean, I have a complete right to be angry right? This isn’t my fault?”

“God no, Crosby,” he replied instantly. “You asked him to do one thing, which wasn’t even that big of a deal—and he promised he would in order to get what he wanted. If you would have given in to him he wouldn’t respect you as much because you can’t hold up your morals. At least that’s how I would look at it.”

Micah took a deep breath, trying to bring down her stress levels; she hated feeling this emotionally damaged. She was used to be strong, but her heart was aching and she despised it. Eric wasn’t supposed to hurt her like this. She frowned as a single tear fell down her cheek.

“Should I break up with him, John?”

She was scared to hear his answer, but she knew he would probably be right.

“That’s up to you,” he sighed. “But, I will be the first to tell you that you of all people don’t deserve that kind of shit. You deserve a guy that would kill himself before cheat on you. He obviously doesn’t know what he’s losing…dumbass.”

Micah let a brief smile take over her lips as she heard how upset John was with Eric; it made her feel like he cared the way she always wanted Eric to. She was sure she was imagining the extent of his disappointment to feel better though.

She blew air through her lips making a ‘b-b-b-b’ noise as they flapped together. She drew shapes on his chest, ignoring the clock next to her that told her she should probably get up soon. She honestly felt like if she stayed here—in John’s arms, that maybe none of this was real. Maybe everything could be perfect.

But then John’s phone started ringing and as he glared at the name, Micah realized this wasn’t their reality. It never would be.

Things would be too simple that way she supposed.

“Hello?” John said into the silence of his room.

She could hear Addison crying through the phone, her endless apologies mixed with ‘I love yous’. John was closing his eyes and nodding his head, appearing as if rather than listening to any word he was simply consumed by the thoughts in his head.

“We’ll talk later, okay?” He said softly after a few moments of his girlfriend’s ramblings. “All right, bye.”

John threw his phone across his mattress and placed his hands to where they were previously, on Micah’s bare back. She propped her head up once again, “Are you two staying together?”

“What does it matter to you?” He snapped with frustration apparent in his voice.

“I-I guess it doesn’t,” she replied, taken aback at how quickly his mood had changed. She dropped the conversation before he could take out his anger on her and pulled the sheet tight to her body, getting to her feet.

She found her clothes from the night before, pulling them on and replacing John’s boxers that she had been wearing. She pulled her hair into a bun on the top of her head and wiped make up from under her eyes.

“I’ll see you later, I guess,” Micah said gently, finding her phone and putting it in her back pocket.

“Crosby, I’m sorry,” John sighed, covering his face with his hands. “Let’s talk later when we’ve both talked to our other halves. Maybe…things can be different.”

She gave him a confused look, not understanding his words at all—but he stayed silent. She nodded her head before walking down the road to her house. She took a quick shower before heading downstairs to eat some breakfast, ignoring her brother’s snide comments on where she had been the night before. She pulled on an oversized hoodie with a skull on the front and some small denim shorts before drying her hair and putting on a light coat of waterproof mascara.

Just as she grabbed her phone and was about to head down stairs there was a light knock on her door. She opened it and sighed, looking at the boy she was just about to go see. He looked like a mess. His hair was everywhere, he had dark circles around his eyes, and his clothes were wrinkled. You could tell he hadn’t slept at all.

“Hey,” Eric said softly, looking at her with shame in his eyes.

“Hi,” Micah replied, anger still boiling in her body.

“Daniel let me in,” he said lamely, before running a hand nervously through his hair. “Can we please talk?”

She nodded her head and let him in her room, locking the door behind them so that her brother wouldn’t sneak in on their conversation. She took a seat on the edge of her bed as Eric paced in front of her, mumbling to himself, obviously trying to find the words to say.

Micah sat their silently, she had so much to say—but nothing at all. She was still so hurt by him, confused by his actions, and just purely angry. What he did wasn’t right at all.

But then she thought back to last night when she kissed John. Was it the same thing? No, it couldn’t have been; she wouldn’t have kissed him if Eric hadn’t of cheated. No, she would never cheat on Eric, right?

Then her first kiss came back into her mind; her first kiss with John.

Her first kiss with the John the month her and Eric had started dating.

Suddenly her anger was replaced with guilt; she wasn’t any better than Eric.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, tears welling in his eyes. “Micah, baby, I am so sorry. What I did was so stupid—I swear to God, it was the dumbest thing I have ever done, and that’s saying something.”

Micah chuckled softly, feeling her own eyes fill with tears. She wasn’t sure if it was from the picture of him kissing Addison in her mind or the guilt of her kissing John—but either way, she still felt like shit.

Eric was kneeling in front of her now, both of his hands on her thighs, “Micah, I swear, I’ll never do it again, ever. I’ll give up weed—just to prove to you I can, if you want. I’ll give up video games, I’ll give up anything. Just please…please, don’t leave me. We can make this work. I’ll give it everything I have—I just, I can’t let you get away from me. I don’t want to lose you.”

Micah was full out crying by this point and it literally felt as if a muscle man was pulling on her heart strings, trying to tear them completely. “Eric,” she mumbled, trying to speak through her tears.

“I need you, Micah. Please. I know I don’t deserve this,” he whispered, his words so delicate it sounded as if he was speaking with a small child. “I don’t deserve a second chance but I need it, Micah. I don’t want to lose you,” he repeated, tears falling down his cheeks. “I’ll love you more than you’ve ever been loved, baby. I’ll treat you better—just one more chance…please.”

Sobs rocked their bodies as Micah let her arms find their place around his neck and pull them close. They fell to the floor as they held each other and Eric kissed her hard against the lips.

“I love you,” he whispered, using his thumbs to wipe her tears. “And I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” she breathed, staring into his blue-green eyes.

“For what, Mic? You don’t need to be sorry for anything,” Eric whispered. “This isn’t your fault at all.”

She shrugged her shoulders and licked her lips, not finding the courage she needed, “I just am.”

“Can we try again, Micah? One more shot?” He asked softly, worry on his features.

Micah had no right to say no; there was still so much she was hiding from him. She would be a hypocrite. And besides, she’d be lying to everyone if she said she didn’t still love him. Love doesn’t fade over night. She nodded her head and kissed his lips, still wondering what John meant when he said that maybe things could be different.

*

Eric left after a few hours of cuddling and just talking. It was nice to have things sorted out, though Micah knew things were definitely going to take some work. She was still hurt.

She lay in her bed, reading a book when her phone started ringing, drawing her attention. She looked at the caller I.D and took a deep breath before sighing and picking it up. “Hello?”

“Micah, hey,” Addison spoke; her voice was shaking. “Can we talk for a second?”

“Go ahead,” she replied shortly, not saying anything else; Addison was supposed to be her best friend. How could she?

“I am so sorry, Mic. I shouldn’t have kissed him. Don’t be mad at Eric, I came onto him. He was just—drunk,” Addie said honestly.

“I figured,” Micah said rudely; of course she did. Addie came onto everyone when she and John were fighting; it was like a routine for them.

“J-John broke up with me,” her friend sobbed.

Micah paused. “H-He did?” She asked, genuinely surprised. John and Addie had been through this so many times before—but they always fell back into one another. But this time, what was different?

“I don’t know what happened, Micah, he just…he said he need a change—and God, I’m so sorry about everything,” Addison said, weeping on the other side of the line.

Micah had barely asked ‘why?’ when her door opened and John stepped in, a bouquet of roses in his hands. “I-I have to go,” she mumbled quietly, before hanging up on her friend and standing to her feet. “What are you doing here, John?”

“I just…I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said gently, staring into her eyes intensely.

She glanced at the roses and her heart started pounding, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

John gave her a weak smile, “Good.”

They stared at one another silently, blushes on both of their cheeks. Micah’s head was spinning—by change did he mean…them? He couldn’t have.

“So, I was wondering, I mean, I don’t know if you’re busy next weekend but I was thinking that maybe you and I could go out to a movie,” John began, but when he saw alarm in Micah’s eyes he retreated. “You know as friends—because we’re both obviously on the rebound so maybe we could just keep each other company. Would that be okay with you?” Micah’s lips pulled down in a frown and she opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off once again. “I mean, we could go as more if you want—it’s up to you, I just…yeah.”

Micah stared at him blankly, her heart pounding in her ears like a bass drum. “John, I-I,” she stuttered. She couldn’t seem to find the words.

John paused before sighing and pursing his lips, nodding his head as realization took over him before embarrassment. “You took him back,” he said, sounding somewhat upset.

She bit on her lip softly, and bobbed her head up and down. If she had known—would things have been different? Probably, as bad as that sounded for Eric.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, genuinely meaning it.

John grinned weakly, before shaking his head and placing his hands in the air. “It’s okay, Mi—Crosby,” he said unconvincingly. He gently tossed the roses on her bed, giving her a fake smile, “Best of wishes to both of you. I hope he treats you like you deserve.”

Micah felt torn as he walked out her door. Should she run after him? There were so many feelings running through her body as well as a million questions; but one stuck out more so than the others.

Why didn’t he ever call her Micah?