The Saints Of Mibba
Contrast.
I'm weird. Sometimes my acting can be slightly unusual, and sometimes it can be extremly odd. My parents always loved me, from the day one and I always knew how to make them do what I want. My father wanted to have a boy, so he got one. I played soccer with him, dressed like him and he took me bowling every Sunday.
What about my mum? She's a very strong woman, a great person, but very unambitious. She let me be and she didn't push me to do anything. I was unwritten paper and only I had to write my story down.
They say I was a brilliant kid. Intelligent, sweet, helpful. But I remember being muddy and always getting into trouble. I never had any friends, I rather sat in a corner and read books for much older kids. I grew up too fast, so I was very different than other kids. They were ignoring me at first, but then they started to bully me. It reached to the point where I completely closed myself and had no contacts to them at all.
High school. New start. Again, no friends at all. After a year I got very popular, I don't even remember how it started. That year was the best year of my life. If someone asks me to name my favorite days I had I always say - ditching school and getting stoned and drunk at local bars. I really enjoyed shutting down from reality. Booze, pot or even innocent sleep were my favorite things. But as I kept doing it, I realized that my strongest ability is getting more and more weak. I did a huge damage to my brain.
I love being smart. You can't make me happy if you say that I'm pretty or cute. I shine every time someone says I'm smart. Even though I'm not really the smartest human being as I claim to be. I got really scared and I started obsessing with new activity - studying and school work, to keep my reputation of a smart ass. I lost my friends, because I didn't fit in.
Soon I got bored of studying, totally understandable. Now I'm here, at the end of high school, I don't even know what I want to do, what are my goals, nothing. I just want to be rich and accepted. I deny that I want love. Love would only stop me from being successful.
Sometimes I wonder what Freud would say about my story.
What about my mum? She's a very strong woman, a great person, but very unambitious. She let me be and she didn't push me to do anything. I was unwritten paper and only I had to write my story down.
They say I was a brilliant kid. Intelligent, sweet, helpful. But I remember being muddy and always getting into trouble. I never had any friends, I rather sat in a corner and read books for much older kids. I grew up too fast, so I was very different than other kids. They were ignoring me at first, but then they started to bully me. It reached to the point where I completely closed myself and had no contacts to them at all.
High school. New start. Again, no friends at all. After a year I got very popular, I don't even remember how it started. That year was the best year of my life. If someone asks me to name my favorite days I had I always say - ditching school and getting stoned and drunk at local bars. I really enjoyed shutting down from reality. Booze, pot or even innocent sleep were my favorite things. But as I kept doing it, I realized that my strongest ability is getting more and more weak. I did a huge damage to my brain.
I love being smart. You can't make me happy if you say that I'm pretty or cute. I shine every time someone says I'm smart. Even though I'm not really the smartest human being as I claim to be. I got really scared and I started obsessing with new activity - studying and school work, to keep my reputation of a smart ass. I lost my friends, because I didn't fit in.
Soon I got bored of studying, totally understandable. Now I'm here, at the end of high school, I don't even know what I want to do, what are my goals, nothing. I just want to be rich and accepted. I deny that I want love. Love would only stop me from being successful.
Sometimes I wonder what Freud would say about my story.
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by Sneki;Amazon.