The Saints Of Mibba

This may look like a porn novel to many of you.
This was my first sexual experience and I couldn’t go all the way.
So even though this is a little dirty, it does a have a moral.
A boy does not have control of your life. Ever.

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The seconds ticked by the neon clock was nearly at 2:30 am. I knew he was asleep down stairs. I wanted to do this, I think. It didn’t matter as soon at the clock turned, I got out of my bed walking down the hall.

My house is creepy at night the shadows on the wall increase from the mirrors and windows allowing the moonlight into the house. The spiral stairs were next to my parent’s room, quietly I must go.

My bones creak, I stop and shudder, if I was discovered I couldn’t lie myself out of this one. I continue down the stairs, holding the hand rail tight guiding myself down. I walk to the bedroom, his door is closed. I open it slightly.

There he is, like an angel, his eyes were shut and his lips closed. His dreams I want to be and his life I am. I slip under the covers with him, getting on top of him, kissing his lips. His eyes fly open. He does a sudden take of move underneath me sitting up.

He is so gorgeous; his eyes blink as he realizes it is me. He brings his arms around my waist and pulls me into him.

“I was just dreaming about you,” His voice hovers in my ears, “You were wearing the exact same thing, in this exact position.”

“I don’t think you were dreaming.” I push my lips on his. His hands envelop around me, push me to his chest. His mouth is warm, he doesn’t have morning breath or anything, he tastes like he always has, spices. I run my hands through his hair, pushing it through my fingers, the light of the neon clock timing us.

His fingers glide over my body, up my arms, around my neck, soft is his touch, his kisses make me alive. I bend down to his neck biting hard; a gasp of air escapes him. I feel him grow harder.

He pulls me over so he is on top of me. His smile reflects his eyes. He isn’t greedy, he loves me, and this moment isn’t lust. This is the real thing. My small body compared to his, my fingers, my lips, my breasts are so small, but he doesn’t care. He pulls me up to him; leaning on his stomach he puts his fingers up my shirt carefully cupping my breasts.

I smile in the dark; he leans to my lips once more, sucking them as he pushes me down. His fingers pull the fabric over my head. I feel no shame as I am exposed to him. He rubs and kisses me. I can feel everything rushing towards me and he kisses lower.

Excitement running through my veins, as his tongue rolls around my stomach. I shudder, and he stops. He looks up at me with his big green eyes. I grab his shirt a pull it over his head. I have never seen him shirtless before. Our bodies’ crash together as his warm torso is against my breasts. Our tongues dancing together, it was perfection.

I sat up straight as he did the same; he knew it was the next step, the next step in our relationship and the next step to being one. His hands were on my pants he put them pulling them off. He wasn’t nervous, or at least I don’t think he was. He looked at me, both of us in our underwear.

What a perfect picture of intimacy.

I took his hands guiding them down towards the forbidden. His went inside me; it wasn’t bliss as all those girls at my school say, actually it hurt a bit, this strange a foreign object in me. He pushed harder. I relaxed; this was supposed to be fun.

Little gasps and moans escape me, then without warning he turns me over and puts his tongue inside. Excitement flows freely through the room. He grabs my thighs rocking back and forth. His tongue spread warmth up through my body.

He grabs my breasts and bites hard on the nipples. I feel him growing through his boxers. He moved to pull of his boxers. He was naked. He was beautiful his body so slender and soft.

“Are you ready for this?” He pulls me close.

Was I ready? I don’t think so. I want too, I want to do this. But I can’t imagine the consequences I could suffer, I can hardly take care of myself, who am I to take care fo a baby?

“Ashley,” His voice was in my ear. “We don’t have to do this.” I blink even in the dark; my face was astonished.

“Really? I feel awful leading you on.” I breathe.

“Ash, I would never force you to do something that you didn’t want too.” He kisses my lips. “I love you, and you being here is better than sex.”

I crawl into his arms. He said he loved me more than sex.

“I love you, too.” I whisper.

--

My life really isn't that I am not a saint, but every good thing I do, it isn't a story, it is something I do, because it was the right thing.

In my heart, that was one of the biggest mistakes I could have made, and I had the courage and the strength to say no.

If people judge me, then that is their choice. But I want people to know, that even when you put yourself in a situation that is as bad as that one, you always have the chance to say no.

If you look through a book of Catholic saints, not all of them were pure, sometimes their biggest mistakes were the turning points of their lives.

That is why I choose this memory, not because it makes me look good, but because it is a story of true courage.